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Triumphant Tuesday: Overcoming Breastfeeding Ignorance

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Breastfeeding ignorance is rife in contemporary society. Medical staff exacerbate it, and formula companies rely on it. Lack of breastfeeding knowledge is often cited as the reason why most mothers fail at nursing their babies. However ignorance doesn't have to spell curtains for your breastfeeding relationship. The internet is widely accessible - and free at most libraries. Also, organisations such as La Leche League are a click or phonecall away. There are breastfeeding groups in almost every major town and city. So why do so many mothers still blame ignorance for their breastfeeding failure (baring in mind that most of these mothers are not illiterate?) The answer is simple: it takes more that mere knowledge to breastfeed. Overcoming ignorance is only the beginning. Determination, dedication, and an element of stubbornness, are helpful prerequisites, as illustrated by this triumphant mom.


I'd like to start out by saying that breast feeding is probably the most important and most memorable thing I have ever done.  Yes, even over giving birth.  Breast feeding my son was so enjoyable, relaxing, amazing... eventually.

Ignorance Hurdle #1: The Inconvenience of Breastfeeding

As a pregnant 25 year old woman, I was pretty positive I would NOT breastfeed.  My pregnancy was unplanned and I was ready to get back to having fun as soon as the baby was born.  How could I go out all night long, or enjoy alcohol if I had to (gasp) breastfeed?!  But my son's birth culminated in a c-section and I spent hours in a recovery room while my son lay in a plastic tub in the nursery.  I wasn't even able to hold him until 3 hours after he was born.  The second I saw him, I put my baby straight to my breast and he just knew exactly what to do.  The feeling of peace and attachment was so overwhelming in that moment- okay, it was 4am, I had been in induced labor since 8am the previous morning and so anything might feel overwhelming in that situation - but still, I suddenly felt like, no one can take this away from me;  this ability to nourish my child.

Ignorance Hurdle #2: Trusting Medical Staff


The following evening a nurse recommended that I let my son sleep in the nursery so I could get some rest.  I agreed under the condition that I be woken up when my son was ready to eat.  The nurse assured me that it would be fine if he was just given a bottle, but I insisted and wrote a note on a paper towel in big letters which I laid across my son's swaddled blanket: 'WAKE MOM TO BREASTFEED.'  When I woke the sun was shining through my hospital room window, I was shocked that my newborn was such a champion sleeper!  That's when the nurse told me, "He was crying and wouldn't stop so I gave him a bottle and he went right back to sleep."  Thinking about it now I'm absolutely appalled!  That hospital took so much control away from me. They gave him a bottle without my consent.

In fact, I did not have even one single pro-breastfeeding nurse during my three day stay in the hospital.  I asked so many questions- how do I hold him, when will my milk come in and is it normal that it hasn't yet, why do my nipples feel like they are on fire, how do I know my son is not starving...  At best I got "I don't know."  Usually they just asked if I wanted a bottle.  No one ever offered me information on sources of support.

The nurse on the afternoon shift that day convinced me that until my milk came in my baby was not getting enough nutrition and that he would cry all night without formula.  She brought us a 6 ounce bottle and walked away.  My partner stuck the bottle in my 2-day-old baby's mouth and that baby sucked down almost the whole thing!  Well, how convincing- he must have been starved!  Cut to 2 minutes later when 5 1/2 ounces of formula came back out of that poor little baby's stomach.  When the nurse reappeared later I asked how many ounces a newborn should typically take and she answered about 1 or 2.  Holy Cow!  I was stunned.  I just put 3-4 times more food in that tiny tummy than should have ever been in there!  I was done taking advice from these nurses.  I didn't let my baby out of my sight.

But the run-ins with incompetent medical staff didn’t stop there - my pediatrician was also unhelpful.  Although my son was 8 lbs 15 ounces when he was born, and 5 ounces heavier at his 1 week checkup, my pediatrician encouraged alternating formula with breastmilk (even though I never asked her opinion on the matter!)  I changed pediatricians.

Thankfully, my partner was supportive. It didn't bother him to not be responsible for the feeding part of parenting.  Since I had the c-section I was pretty immobile for a couple of weeks at home, so he had to do pretty much everything else and then bring the baby to me. He would also talk me down when all I could think was what a horrible mom I was, and that I couldn't make enough milk for my baby!

Ignorance Hurdle #3: Baby Books

"Three months old and not lacking in nutrition."
I found breastfeeding was painful for almost 6 weeks.  It seemed like my son was latching on right, his mouth placement looked like the way the baby books described, but my nipples were cracked and bleeding and when my son would latch on I would just cringe.  It felt like a million needles stabbing me. I still don't know why this happened, or why it stopped happening. Almost everything I read and everyone I talked to said to just quit. But I refused.  I felt empowered by my decision to nourish my son. Many of the books cited ‘Freedom to do what I wanted’ as a benefit of formula feeding. However I WANTED to be with my new little baby.  Apparently this is an abnormal feeling for a new mother???  I coated my nipples in lanolin and tried to hold my son in different positions and waited for the pain to subside.

Ignorance Hurdle #4: Milk Regulation


Around 8 weeks I felt that I was losing my milk supply. I had gone back to work a couple weeks before and was expressing milk for my partner to bottle feed my son while I was gone.  My breasts felt less full and the amount of milk I was expressing was minimal. Was I experiencing inadequate milk supply like so many women I read or heard about? I panicked, and experienced a lot of anxiety about my (soon to be) malnourished child.  I decided to pump in between feedings to try to increase my supply.  The Alpha Parent is the first blog I have ever read that mentions a loss of firmness or a feeling of emptiness at around 6 weeks.  That's probably what was happening to me.  I also never knew that the amount of milk I expressed did not accurately measure how much my son was getting.  Honestly, almost every baby book lists anxiety and worry as a downside to breastfeeding, yet almost none give facts or education saying, "you don't have to worry if THIS happens..."

Ignorance Hurdle #5: Anti Co-Sleeping Culture

It was almost a year by the time my son fell asleep on his own or slept through the night. At the time I (and everything I read) blamed this on breastfeeding.  I tried to let him "cry it out" and every other stupid "Does this idiot even HAVE kids???" suggestion I read.  Even though all the books warned at the dangers of co-sleeping, the anxiety of rolling onto my baby was miniscule compared to the horrifying experience of listening to my poor baby wail for hours (and NEVER actually fall asleep). When I put my son in bed with me, we both slept, and waking to eat was SO easy!


"His first birthday"
Since my experience with breastfeeding my son, I have had the opportunity to encourage so many new mothers to breastfeed.  Only 1 out of a dozen were successful.  The excuses: My boss wouldn't let me pump, it hurt too much, it just felt weird (this excuse felt WEIRD...), I just wanted to have a drink sometimes, my pediatrician told me my breastmilk is inadequate (how often is this actually true?), it's too much work with twins (seriously?  I can't even imagine how much work preparing TWO bottles for every feeding is!)  However I hit so many roadblocks to successful breastfeeding, yet still managed to be successful. I wish more women knew the FACTS of breastfeeding, but unfortunately, the myths are what most often get written.  Thank you so much Alpha Parent for publishing the facts!




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Makeup for Babies

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The contemporary flooding of the preschool toy market by cosmetics is well-documented. Such penetration is thought to begin when children are as young as three years old. However this article is going to focus on cosmetic-related products aimed at the under 3s. Yup, make way for makeup... for babies.

Sadly, there are more of these products in the mainstream market that you may first assume. They are designed and manufactured by both small companies and multinational toy giants; such is their omnipresent nature. The concept of beauty, make-up, and self-decoration is being introduced to infants fresh out of the womb in the form of ‘plush’ play-sets. I loathe to use the word ‘play’ in this context - the reality is that these items have a great deal to do with the indoctrination of Patriarchal beauty values and not very much to do with children's play. The products, which are usually soft and washable or plastic and wipe-clean, exploit a baby’s natural curiosity with texture, colour and sound.

Perhaps the first, and certainly the most commercially popular, example of such products is a Fisher Price toy called “My PrettyLearning Purse” aimed at babies and toddlers aged 6 to 36 months. ‘Purse’ is the American word commonly used for ‘handbag’.



The purse comes with a lipstick, dollar bill, a bracelet, a mirror, and a set of keys. It also sings songs about purple and pink. Notice that the contents are disproportionately beauty related. The items promote physical attractiveness as the main value, complimented by consumerism. A child that is encouraged by adults to pay so much attention to her attractiveness is very prone to developing eating disorders and other self-esteem issues later in childhood.

This may sound like a sensationalist overreaction on my part; these products are aimed at babies after all, and babies have no concept of gender, let alone objectification. However it is the introduction of beauty paraphernalia into the baby’s everyday world, its familiarization and indoctrination at an unconscious involuntary level that enables these toys to set the foundation for such issues. Even before their first birthday babies can assimilate messages presented to them. Psychologists have discovered that babies know, explore, observe, and learn more than we would have ever thought possible. In some ways they are smarter than adults. Several studies show that even the youngest children have sophisticated and powerful learning abilities (Gopnik. A).

A few years after creating “My Pretty Learning Purse” Fisher Price produced an updated version in which they replaced the lipstick with a mobile phone, and replaced the dollar bill with a credit card. Thus now other buttons are being pressed as well. (Girls love to talk and spend money). Fisher Price have not retired the older version so the two products continue to be sold simultaneously.




Interestingly the ‘boys’ version’ of this product comes in the form of a tool set. It includes a hammer, screwdriver, saw, and wrenches. Notice how the girls’ set is called “My Pretty Learning Purse” whereas the boys’ set is called simply, “My Learning Tools”; There’s nothing pretty about these bad boys. Instead of singing about pink and purple, the tools sing “let’s get to work!” These products are an excellent example of the common dichotomy in children’s toys – that boys make things, and girls purchase the things that boys make.


But wait! After its brief relegation, the little blue lipstick is back, in this vanity mirror by the same 'Laugh and Learn' franchise. It is apparent that Fisher Price didn't learn the error of their ways after all:


The Fisher Price Laugh and Learn Magical Musical Mirror is "baby's very own lighted, vanity mirror". Bat at the roller-ball or open/close the compact to hear "pretty" ditties and learning songs. "The mirror fosters early role play with five play pieces: comb , powder puff, lipstick and two bracelets." Every single item is beauty-related.


Fisher Price is not the only large toy giant to apply the cosmetics/tools gender dichotomy. Popular baby company Lamaze have also created a handbagcomplete with mobile phone, makeup compact and ‘posh poodle’ (Lamaze’s words). The Lamaze boys’ tool set includes various tools and a ‘busy beaver’. Lamaze claim these toys “inspire imagination”. I would argue that they actually stifle imagination. They are so detailed that it would be very difficult to put them to any uses other than the obvious ones.





These sets are outward signs of the belief among adults that boys and girls have innately different skills and interests from birth. This assumption remains scientifically unproven yet culturally pervasive.

The cosmetics/tools dichotomy transcends class barriers, and therefore budgets. High-end toy manufacturers ‘Melissa and Doug’ whose products are stocked by middle class department stores such as John Lewis and Debenhams, have created a “Fill and Spill Pretty Purse”. The soft play set includes a mobile phone that chimes, a key ring with keys, a change purse with coins, and a makeup compact with a child-safe mirror “to powder little noses”. This language is important as it shows an awkward attempt to bridge the world of the child and the adult world.



Melissa and Doug didn’t put much thought into creating their corresponding boys’ set, which is - drum roll - more tools! The 9-piece ‘Melissa and Doug Fill and Spill Toolbox’ includes a hammer, screwdriver, saw, nails, screws, blocks, and a drill that vibrates. Again, the word ‘pretty’ is used in the title of the girls’ product but omitted from the boys’.



Then we have the "My First Toiletry Box" which is exactly the same idea but with even more emphasis on beauty. It includes a soft pink rattle hair brush, pink plush lipstick with bell inside, soft pink baby-safe mirror, and a pink and lilac comb which crackles. The contents clearly encourage little girls to define themselves from the outside in.



The boys’ version, yet again, exploits the ‘boys as future handymen’ ritual.


Notice how the girls’ items direct and confine a girl’s attention inward towards herself, whilst the boys’ items direct the boys’ attention outward towards his physical world, where there are limitless possibilities. The tool box lays the foundations for boys’ greater spatial awareness and understanding of physics (i.e. how objects interact with one another). It encourages movement and coordination. The toiletry box on the other hand, teaches girls that they can (and indeed should) focus all their efforts on boosting their attractiveness.

The leading soft toy manufacturer in the U.S., and also the oldest, ‘Gund’ have created various versions of what they have called their "My First Purse" over the years. Each version includes a cell phone with a mirror and a ringing IC chip, makeup compact with a rattle, and a change purse.



Predictably Gund have also created boys’ versions. The older set was a tool box and tools. The newer set is a laptop. It is suitable from birth and comes with a laptop case, mirrored screen, rattle mouse and disc that crinkles. This reinforces a more modern version of the same old ritual of boys as breadwinners, inventors and creatives, whilst girls live a narrow life of idle pleasure, a life turned in upon itself, self-absorbed and self-indulgent.


Curiously, Gund also produce another makeup set for baby girls which they have called “Gund Pretty as A Princess”. Here we see the ubiquitous “princess” marker, selling the idea that girls are princesses and should consider themselves as such (with all the attendant themes that accompany this narrative – a prince to the rescue, socialised passivity, being maintained rather than maintaining oneself). The set includes vanity carrying case, crinkling lipstick, rattling nail polish, and mirrored compact. It teaches girls very early in life that it is important how they look – and to look artificial. The product's design features are those which girls have been socially conditioned to respond to: colours which are not too strong, curved and rounded shapes and flower decorations - and illustrates how such conditioning begins at birth.


True to form, the boys’ counterpart is “My First Briefcase”. Here we see a perfect example of gendered job segregation, and the social construction of skill. In the product description Gund chirp:

“Help your ‘junior executive’ have hours of fun play with this charming playset. Includes everything a day at the office requires. Let baby close deals with the squeaky calculator, watch rattle, cell phone that jingles and of course-- what executive could be complete without a big set of clicking crinkling car keys!”

These toys, and in particular their gender segregation, are an illustration of how patriarchal society passes on specific cultural messages through the medium of toys and, in this way, reproduces itself.


Notice how the briefcase set encourages boys to explore useful objects of the working world, familiarising boys with the appearance of numbers, mathematical symbols and clock faces. Also notice how the briefcase set embodies a variety of size, shape and colour concepts.

It seems bizarre to segregate boys and girls via their toys, particularly young babies, as they themselves have no concept of gender. However as I said in my analysis of the recent Early Learning Centre catalogue (here), there is commercial pressure to divide children along gender lines in this way. Gendering toys is a great way of nudging families toward buying more items per child. The more children share toys, the fewer toys get sold.

There is another, perhaps more obvious, reason why toy manufacturers segregate boys and girls – to appease what I refer to as the ‘mini-me fetish’. Many parents seem to be fixated on exaggerating the parent-child resemblance. They want their daughters to be ‘just like Mum’ and their sons to be aligned with their dads. Not ones to ignore an opportunity, toy manufacturers exploit this desire, and a self-fulfilling prophecy is created. Girls are nudged into passive roles, and boys into active roles. Here, we see toy manufacturers ‘Kidoozie’ use the phrase ‘just like mom’ on the packaging for their ‘My First Purse’.


This polyester and vinyl purse includes lipstick, soft mirror, set of keys, wallet, debit card and cell phone. Here we see the same flower symbols and pastel colours repeated again, just in case we were left with any doubt that this set is intended for girls.

The same colours and flower symbols are also used on this plush “My Purse” play set created by U.S. catalogue and online retailer Lilian Vernon.



So apart from being told, and shown on the packaging, which sex these products are for, we have coded messages in the design, form and colour.

Almost identical pastel colours and flower symbols are used again on the "Galt Fill and Spill Baby Handbag". Features include a mobile phone with a ringing tone, a teether keyring, crinkle purse and a flower mirror.



As well as flowers, another marker that girls are conditioned to respond to is fairies. The item specs of the "Liz Reversible Handbag" by Lilliputiens reads like a checklist of how to market adult items to the toddler market. The plush play set features flowers, fairies, pink shades, soft fabrics, and a doll, alongside adult items such as a cell phone, car keys, and an eye shadow compact. “Little girls proudly stroll around with this elegant handbag” asserts the product description.



At the other end of the spectrum, some manufacturers make no attempt to include childish items, instead opting to provide plush baby-safe versions of entirely adult contents. “My First Makeup Set” by the ironically named, Learn and Grow describes itself as “a great gift for little girls 18mths - 3yrs”. The set includes lipstick, makeup compact, blusher brush, perfume and a random tube of ‘cream’, presumably facial cream. The contents are 100% focused on beauty. This sends the message to girls that their “dominant desire is to be desired” (Papadopoulos. L).


By far the biggest culprits in the ‘baby makeup business’ are Fisher Price. Founded in 1930, Fisher Price took pride in fundamental toy-making principles centred on intrinsic play value, ingenuity, strong construction, good value for the money, and action. However as time went on, some products slipped under the quality-control radar, such as this 1982 "My Pretty Purse" play set. The set included a handbag, realistic lipstick, keys, comb and mirror compact with powder puff.



In 1992 when Fisher Price were purchased by toy giant Mattel, owner of Barbie, the flood-gates were blasted wide open on integrity. Consequently we ended up seeing products aimed at babies as young as 6 months such as “My Pretty Learning Purse” shown above, and the “Perfectly Pink My Pretty Purse” aimed at 3 month olds shown bellow.


Marketing for this toy drew upon parents’ mini-me fetish. The product description cheerfully maintains that “When mom and baby are on the go, they never leave home without their essentials.” The plush purse includes a teethable handle, crinkly play money with teethable coin, mirrored compact, teethable keys, and teethable lipstick rattle.

Fisher Price used the same lipstick in their “Perfectly Pink Tummy Time Vanity Mirror”. The set is aimed at babies who are just learning to lift their head up, but are yet unable to sit unsupported. Expressly marketed at girl babies, the ‘vanity mirror’ has various cosmetic items attached, including a perfume bottle with a squeaking atomizer, a tactile hairbrush and rattle lipstick. The back side features a quilted design of “the princess kissing her frog.”


Using the phrase ‘vanity mirror’ to describe a baby’s toy is a depressing sign of how childhood is being eroded by profit-hungry manufacturers. The term Vanity originates from the Latin word ‘vanitas’ and is to do with futility and a rather overblown personal pride. Such self-regard, however is presented here as a good thing. Its use in toys is telling of how children are primed for lifetime of dissatisfaction in their appearance.

We only begin to understand the severity of such messages if we recognise that parents of babies and toddlers act as gatekeepers. Their infants are completely dependent on them. The toys they allow into their child’s world, and the cultural messages they embody, are perceived by the child as carrying explicit parental approval. Parents are the single most pervasive influence on children of this age range. They carry more influential clout than other family members, peers and the media combined. By allowing their child to interact with play things that are predominantly beauty-related they are telling their child that they value the principles implicit in those play things. In the case of the Fisher Price “Perfectly Pink My Pretty Purse” the principle is that you cannot leave home without cosmetics, and that these items are "essential". The subliminal brainwash is that little girls are not beautiful the way they are.

Yet more lipstick can be found in the “My Pretty Purse” play set, or to give it its full name, the “Fisher Price Fun to Imagine! My Pretty Purse”. This item, which is reminiscent of the vintage 1982 set shown above, features a comb, cell phone, credit card, makeup compact, lipstick, makeup brush and keys. The small print on the box states “CHOKING HAZARD -- Small parts. Not for children under 3 yrs.” However the product description refers to babies: “Keys, lipstick, money, music ...this adorable purse has everything baby needs for learning and role play fun!” Prominent use of the word “fun” is telling of the particular marketing strategy at work here (more on this later).


Baby makeup even penetrates into the well-thumbed realm of character merchandising, and predictably Fisher Price is the main perpetrator. The Sesame Street Baby's Purse recommended for babies of 12 months contains a lipstick, a squeaking cell phone, a mirror, a comb, a change purse, and a key ring. The marketing blurb reads:

“For babies and toddlers who have places to go and people to see, this brightly colored Sesame Street-themed purse is just the thing. Well stocked, this fun accessory holds everything a jet-setting little person needs to be primped and proper. Mostly pink with a yellow handle and with Elmo's and Zoe's smiling faces on the flap, this chic purse is a must-have fashion item.”

To be fair, the marketing language is more gender-neutral than most products in this genre. Nonetheless, the product is still fashioned to appeal more to girls with the use of flower symbols, hearts and pinks, and featuring a girl prominently on the box.



Toys don’t exist in a vacuum and character merchandising is one way in which they share close links with other aspects of the world of commercial culture handed down to children. Decorating toys with much-loved preschool characters enables the beauty culture to reach into every corner of children’s lives. Sesame Street feature once more on this plush baby cosmetics set by Gund.


Predictably, Disney also have this one covered, using a central character no less.


Aimed at toddlers, this set uses the much-loved character, Minnie Mouse, to lure little girls into the adult world of cosmetics. It contains a lipstick with realistic screw-up action, and a mirror compact to assist the girl in 'putting on' the lipstick.


Another venture into the realm of character merchandising was made again by Fisher Price, this time based on the BBC CBeebies series for pre-school children ‘The Roly Mo Show’. This set named “Little Bo’s Rucksack” includes rucksack, play phone, lipstick, comb, mirror, busy book and bow“for you to wear.” The use of the word “rucksack” is gender-neutral but again, the contents are fashioned with girls in mind. Here they receive the message that bracelets and hair bows are an expected part of feminine ‘costume’.


Before we leave Fisher Price, another notable product example is what they’ve called the "Fisher Price Little Glamour Gift Set" which is designed “for babies 3 months and older” and includes a diamond ring rattle, bracelet teether, and baby-safe mirror. Note the unfortunate use of the word ‘glamour’. Traditionally this word referred to ‘the traits or qualities that give happiness or pleasure to the senses.’ The contemporary connotation of the word speaks about to charm, personality, prettiness and sexual magnetism.


Whilst this set does not include any cosmetic items per se, it does feature a diamond ring which is a form of self-decoration. Perhaps more importantly, the ring is a symbol of engagement and a stunning example of how girls are taught to package themselves for the marriage market.

A similar diamond ring features alongside a lipstick, squeaky perfume bottle, and makeup compact in this Beauty Boxcreated by Swedish company Oskar & Ellen. The company describe the set as “perfect for little girls who cannot keep away from Mummy's make-up bag!” The application of gender in this description is lazy at best. Considering the target users of this toy are babies and toddlers, both girls and boys of this age have an interest in the contents of their mother’s make-up bag, or any bag for that matter. Yet in typical patriarchal fashion, Oskar & Ellen have expressly restricted their ‘beauty box’ to girls.


Oskar & Ellen also created a more elaborate version which they again restricted to girls. “A must-have bag for a Princess! Contains exciting grown-up items such as lipstick, nail varnish, eye shadow kit with applicator, powder compact, comb and hairdryer.”


This version combines decoration of the face (makeup) with grooming of the hair (hairdryer). As peer pressure bears down when girls are a little older, the two intricate rituals will consume many hours of their life. Why infiltrate their tender years with them now?

The answer to this rhetorical question is shareholder satisfaction - aka - profits. In their relentless quest to maximise profits, some toy companies have focused on hair grooming as a genre in itself. Large toy manufacturer Little Tikes created the “Little Tikes Discovery Sounds Hair Drier” aimed at babies from 6 months of age. “Press the pink button to hear fun hair drying and other bubbly sounds” the packaging instructs. Notice prominent use of the popular yet purposively vague word “fun”. Using this word is a deliberate marketing technique. There's less of the grown-up in it and more of the child; it has less to do with the role of sex object and more to do with play; it's what manufacturers of 'beauty-related' toys want to pretend their products provide for children. How else could they attempt to justify their activities?


Another toy, “My First Haircut”, is made by a company called “Early Years” and distributed by “International Playthings”, the same company that works with the Early Learning Centre. With these links in mind, the design of the product is unsurprising. Marinated in pink and with a girl prominently displayed on the packaging, this set includes soft scissors that “pretend” cut, a crinkle comb, a hand mirror that rattles and a hair dryer which hums. None of the items are functional.



Arguably this set could be used to prepare an infant for their first trip to a hair salon. However the use of soft pastel colours and female character needlessly restrict the set to girls.

More hair grooming paraphernalia can be found alongside cosmetics in “My Beauty Bag” by ‘One Step Ahead’, a company specialising in “quality, innovative baby products”.


Virtually the same items feature in “My Beauty Kit”manufactured by Play Inc (bellow). The company assure us that “these cute pretend equipment and cosmetics are just as realistic as what mom has, only we have made them squeezably soft and safe for toddler girls.” The set is listed on their website under “Educational Toys”. The description states: “Looking this good doesn’t come easy. A little beauty goes a long way and it’s time well spent for children by building their dexterity and engaging with adults through role play. Who knew looking fabulous could also promote social and cognitive development and build motor skills?” Talk about stretching the acceptable ambit of marketing hyperbole.


Another set of the same name but produced by a different company (Amelie’s Room) features a hairdryer, comb and several hair rollers. Of course it wouldn’t be a beauty kit without various cosmetics items - lipstick, nailpolish, powder compact with powder puff, makeup compact with applicator, and perfume. “Perfect from newborn and beyond” the manufacturer chirps, followed by an ironic emphasis on the organic features of the product: “Amelie's Room uses natural fabrics inside and out. Our designs are simple and naturally soft on baby's delicate skin.”


Other manufacturers are less obscure about the adult premise of their product. The manufacturer’s description of “My First Purse” by Alma’s Design is worth sharing in its entirety:

“Just let me get my purse and I'll be ready to go. Oh, wait. Is that my phone? Oh, excuse me, I just have to take this. This purse is the perfect accessory to promote role playing with adults and build motor skills. It's so valuable that imaginative young minds will want to carry it with them everywhere. They'll be ready to set the next big trend with the fabulous pink, purple and yellow purse colors, their very own cell phone and address book, a comb, a compac, lipstick, and a coin purse for bargain shopping. All the essentials are perfectly contained in a simply stunning little bag. It's just a wonderful way to tie together any ensemble.”


Other manufacturers are even more transparent about their product’s ‘adultification’ of children. American online shopping catalogue The Lakeside explain that their “My First Purse” comes with “plush pieces to help your toddler pretend she is a grown-up lady.” Contents include a lipstick, compact with mirror and powder puff, cell phone, and another item that keeps popping up in these toy sets – credit cards.


Credit cards and the general theme of consumption take centre stage in the “Happy Day Handbag” from international toy company Manhattan Toy...


...and also in the “Bright Start Pretty in Pink Put & Take Purse” which includes pieces of crinkle money. In these toys we see the adult values of narcissism, consumerism and materialism at the fore.



So far we have only examined plush and plastic cosmetics sets aimed at infants. However alongside cuddly lipsticks and wipe-clean makeup compacts, manufacturers also market wooden versions. As babies grow into toddlers and toddlers grow into preschoolers, cosmetics sets become more solid in texture and the pieces become smaller, more plentiful in number and more intricate. Here we see the My Vanity Set by French company Djeco which features various wooden cosmetics “so that your little princess can make herself beautiful”, and curiously “three pretty cards that can be used for tokens for beauty salon games”. The set is decorated with the usual markers of girlhood – soft pastel colours, flowers, hearts and bows.


On the other hand, Thailand toy company ‘Santoys’ (short for ‘Santa’s Toys’) take a complete adultification approach with their comprehensive wooden set reminiscent of a makeup artists’ kit. The marketing reminds girls of the importance of looking fashionable at all times: “Make sure you get that red carpet look where ever you go with this portable cosmetics set”. These products set the agenda for a ceaseless round of triviality and self-indulgence. There's little room for anything else. When playing with such toys, girls learn that appearance and attractiveness are central to their worth.


It would appear that in the relentless search for novelty, and therefore profits, no area of the child’s domain is left untouched. Relatively new to the toy world, fledgling company Alex Toy has devised a product to get beauty into the bathroom of toddlers. The “Alex Rub a Dub Pretty in the Tub
” set encourages toddlers to “primp and play in the tub!” “Floating vanity makes it fun!” The set contains a comb, pretend perfume bottles that function as squirters, and a child-safe vanity mirror.


...and modest

Another perfume bottle can be found in the "Baby on the Go - Purse Teether" by Safety 1st. The marketing blurb reads: "Your little consumer will be prepared for everything with her first Purse Teether. Our combination of teether and action toy will provide soothing relief to baby's sensitive gums while the compact mirror, little credit card and bottle of perfume will put a smile on her face for hours".

Yes, the company appear to believe that a cheap piece of moulded plastic will make your baby girl smile for hours. Because she's that shallow.


You would be forgiven for assuming that ‘baby makeup’ products are restricted to toy form, however, sadly this is not the case. Several companies have created ‘baby-safe’ versions of genuine cosmetics. One such brand is titled “Piggy-Paint” and focuses on nail varnish. The company website proudly displays several testimonials from customers. One of them leaps out:

“I just wanted to say thank you so much. I got my daughter’s nail polish today and it is beautiful on her ....she is only 3 months old and I felt completely fine putting this product on her”.

Another testimonial on the website reads:

“My Piggy Paint just arrived!! That was super quick!! I can't wait till my grandbaby's nap! She will wake up with pink piggys!!”


Needless to say, there is no benefit to an infant of getting their nails painted. Babies have no natural interest in this grooming ritual. The site even alludes to this fact by suggesting that caregivers distract the youngster:

“Since most young children are squirmy during the drying process of any polish, we suggest singing songs to pass the time.”

Here we see the company introducing child-like elements (singing songs) to mask an adult activity (applying cosmetics). This approach is similar to that applied by Fisher Price and their competitors in the toys discussed above.

Using the dialog of childhood in their marketing (“fun”, “dance”, “dream”) and in their product labelling (colours include “glitter bug”, “glass slippers”, “fairy fabulous”) Piggy-Paint obscures the inappropriateness of their product. Such language pacifies parents, and eases any instinctive guilt they may have.


Another strategy is to emphasise danger-limitation by using words such as “safe”, “eco-friendly” and “natural” (cosmetics are many things, but they can never be said to be ‘natural’). The company tagline is: “As natural as mud”. Here they are using mud, a substance associated with childhood.

As well as reassuring parents that such products are suitable for young children, companies fabricate educational benefits for their products. The Piggy-Paint website proudly claims that their cosmetics can be used as “learning tools” to teach young children “fine motor skills” and “colour names”, even going so far as to say that applying cosmetics to your child will be a “bonding experience”.

Finally, for sake of completeness, we come to the category of apparel.

The type of clothing that adults chose for their infants can embody messages about beauty, and for the purposes of this article, messages about the use of cosmetics. Adults may purchase clothing for their daughters (it is always girls’ clothing) that sends an explicit message about cosmetics, such as this top for 2 year olds from Tesco sub-brand Cherokee.


...and this top from Mothercare for babies aged 3-6 months featuring the words “Girls Things” and accompanied by lipstick, high heels and handbag embellishments.


...as well as this top from Next for 2-3 year olds. It features lipstick, perfume, earrings, handbags and other beauty paraphernalia accompanied by the slogan, “For the modern girl, shoes, bags & jewellery are a girl's best friend!”



...and this top from United Colors Of Benetton for 2-3 year olds which features the slogan, “I love my pink lipstick”.


Or parents may chose clothes that simply feature images of cosmetics, such as this top from Gap Kids.


Or these pyjamas for 12-18 month olds, covered in lipstick prints.


Or this Barbie swimsuit, also for 12-18 month olds, also featuring lipstick.


Alternatively parents may purchase a ‘dress up’ outfit from the vast array designed to resemble the uniforms of beauty therapists, hair dressers and makeup artists, aimed at toddlers 1-3 years old.













The outfit above is reversible, so when girls get bored of playing beautician, they can turn the outfit inside out to reveal... a nurses outfit! The message is clear: girls are only good at tending to others’ needs.

The outfits featured here, and the toys discussed above, form the building blocks for a dumbing down of aspirations. They teach Girls to prioritize certain rewards (male attention) over other rewards (academic accomplishment), thus limiting their future educational and occupational opportunities.

Conclusions


Toys make up a large part of a child's world from a very early age and are very important in laying the foundations for the child's future attitudes and ideas. Makeup toys prime girls for a lifetime of chasing rigid norms of physical attractiveness through the consumption of cosmetics and fashionable accessories. They play a direct part in encouraging girls to look upon themselves as sex objects. In encouraging girls to vale themselves for their appearance over other attributes, such toys are the first step on the ladder of sexualisation. The American Psychological Association maintains that sexualisation occurs when “a person’s value comes only from his or her sexual appeal or behavior, to the exclusion of other characteristics” (Report of theAPA Task Force on the Sexualisation of Girls 2007).

The products I have examined here are aimed at very young children, in some instances, newborns. They show how children get quite a lot of Patriarchal nudges which they can’t be conscious of. There can be no innate desire on the part of babies, either girls or boys, to play with makeup. Another way of looking at it is that manufacturers, in their never-ending drive for profits, are robbing children of their childhood.

The argument which manufacturers of beauty toys put forward – that they’re only catering for demand – has some truth in it, but they also help to create demand. It’s a chicken and egg scenario. Cosmetics are presented to girls as part of normal life. Likewise, playing with cosmetics-related toys is presented to parents as a natural facet of childhood inquisitiveness. Yet whatever else might be said about cosmetics, they simply can’t be called ‘natural’ so playing with them can’t be natural either.

Triumphant Tuesday: Breastfeeding With Depression

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80% of mothers go through some anxiety and depression after pregnancy. Some of these mothers (about 10%) become heavily depressed and need to seek professional help; some sources even believe the number is as close as 1 in 3 (Smith 2012). Breastfeeding can alleviate the symptoms of postnatal depression (otherwise known as postpartum depression). Oxytocin = powerful stuff. Yet it is a cruel irony that many doctors pressure mothers with PND to quit breastfeeding. This creates a spiral of deterioration: breastfeeding mother develops PND; doctor pressures mother to quit breastfeeding; protective effect of breastfeeding is lost; mother’s depression deteriorates. The mother in this week's Triumphant Tuesday battled PND through two breastfeeding relationships, and thrived to reap the rewards.


My first child was born at 6pm so we stayed the night in hospital. 

Rocky start


I was quite poorly and lost a lot of blood which gave me anemia. When they sent my husband home I remember wondering how I was meant to look after a baby on my own! I had no experience. No help. No energy. Sure enough she cried all night. She was only happy when she was being breastfed. I was in a bay with 3 other women whose babies were bottle fed and sleeping. Due to my desperation to keep my baby quiet combined with my inexperience, we had a bad latch and I ended up with a split in my nipple

Ten days later we visited a breastfeeding counsellor, who showed us how to latch her on properly, but the damage had been done. To latch her on was more painful than giving birth

To make matters worse, my stitches got infected and burst, resulting in an open wound that didn’t heal for 3 months. My husband and I actually moved in with my parents for 6 weeks because I couldn’t cope. 

The beginnings of depression

My mother was more of a mother to my daughter than I was in that time, as much as I regret it. I couldn't cope with this baby and I wanted my life to go back to the way it was before. I actually asked my mother to adopt her. Thankfully these feelings passed, although the depression continued in a form of self-deprecation.  I felt I wasn't a good enough mother or wife, and these are the feelings I still struggle with today.

Bullying doctor

When my daughter was 7 months old I was diagnosed with PND. The doctor told me I had to reduce breastfeeding to go on to anti-depressants. I refused. Reluctantly, she gave me the medication anyway. 

At each appointment she would ask me if I still was breastfeeding. I continued until she was 10 months old but then gave in to the doctor’s pressure who made me feel guilty for “risking my daughters health.” I regret this immensely.

When my daughter was 15 months old I accidentally fell pregnant again, I was still taking the same antidepressants (fluoxetine) and was referred to a consultant who specialised in maternal depression. The consultant assured me that it was okay to be pregnant and to breastfeed while taking fluoxetine (I was on a high dose of 60mg a day). So why had the other doctor bullied me to stop breastfeeding??

A new baby


When my son was born, he was poorly so sent into SCBU. The nurses took me up to the ward without him and gave me my own room which was at the end of a dark corridor and was freezing. (the window was open and it was january!) They left me there and told me someone would come and get me when I could see my son. (I should mention my husband had taken our daughter home before we knew our son was ill).

They came to get me and took me down to see my son in SCBU, it was heart breaking. After a while, I was sent back to my room. I asked if my son needed feeding, and the nurse said that SCBU would call for me. I waited and stayed awake as long as I could, every time someone came to do my obs I asked if SCBU had called for me and they hadn’t. In the end, I fell asleep. 

Formula by stealth

In the morning I went down to SCBU and it turned out someone had written on my notes that I had given permission for formula to be given to him (Not true!) I didn’t get to feed my baby until he was over 24 hours old. Consequently, he had been used to having his stomach stretched with formula and because my milk hadn’t come in yet, he was unsatisfied with the colustrum. I had to top him up with formula and gradually reduce it until my milk came in properly. 

Thrush


Furthermore, he was given antibiotics while in SCBU which I believe gave him thrush in his mouth. He then passed that to me and we continued to pass it between each other unknowingly. It was immensely painful! My breasts hurt all the time. Latching on felt like attaching clamps to my nipples and it hurt all through feeding. Then after feeding there was an aching pain from the middle of my breasts. 

I then got another split nipple (the other one this time!) Breastfeeding was still painful when my son was 2 months old. I went back to the breastfeeding counsellor who told me to go to the doctor with a leaflet on thrush. When I did this, I was given a gel for my son’s mouth and a cream and tablet for me. It took three courses of this to clear it completely. 

Calm after the storm




Many months later I am still happily breastfeeding my son at 8 months (still on anti-depressants too). Breastfeeding is worth it - it is easier, more convenient, healthier for you and your baby. It bonds you together better than anything else.




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Triumphant Tuesday: Breastfeeding Despite Faulty Information

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In the age of information (internet, libraries, helplines, other media) ignorance is a choice and should never form a roadblock to breastfeeding. However after I declare this, a common retort is: “But there’s a lot of faulty information out there”. This is true. However when a mother utilizes two of her inner resources, she can overcome incorrect advice. What are these resources? They’re free, they don’t require a PhD or a trek around the earth. The resources are: common sense and parental instinct. Take this story as a perfect example:

“I gave birth via an emergency c section to a beautiful baby boy. I struggled with breastfeeding from day 1.

Faulty information #1: Forced separation


I was in a lot of pain due to the c section. When my son was 10 days old, my wound started bleeding. I had to undergo another operation because it turns out I had a serious infection. This required me to be in hospital for 3 days. During this time, I didn’t have access to my baby. I begged my gynae for my son to come to hospital with me. However he told me that hospital policy doesn't allow that because I will not be at the maternity ward but I will be admitted at a general ward. He also advised that my baby shouldn't come to visit as he might pick up infections. I quickly rushed to buy a breast pump and started pumping.

Faulty information #2: Breastfeeding and medication

During my first night in hospital the nurse told me that I could pump but I shouldn't give the milk to my baby as it was not safe because I was on medication. I was troubled by this so the first thing I did when I saw my doctor the next day was ask about it. He reassured me that it was fine to feed my son the pumped breast milk.

Pumping was hard work; I was heavily drugged and half asleep most of the time. I remember times where nothing would come out. This made me unbearably sad and I felt helpless. I couldn't even sleep because all I thought about was my baby. I didn't even know how to use a pump at the time. I would pump for an hour, sometimes 2 hours, and couldn't even get 100ml. Thankfully my boy never drank formula because what I expressed was enough (thank goodness for small tummies).

On my third day in hospital I begged my doctor to let me go home to my baby. He finally discharged me, however at that point I realized someone had stolen my wedding ring! My husband and I looked for it for about 2 hours. My husband wanted to fight with hospital staff but I told him to let it go. All I wanted to do was go home to be with my baby and breastfeed him. When I got home my mum was about to boil water to prepare some formula. I was so relieved that I got home just in time.

Faulty information #3: Intense pain is normal

When I was finally back home, the fun and games really began. I started having excruciating stabbing pains in my right breast. It felt like someone was pulling my breast from the inside. There were times when it was so bad that I would cry whilst nursing. I had no idea what was happening and was convinced it was something they gave me whilst at hospital. I called the clinic for advice and they told me to go and see my gynae, but he couldn't see me till the 6 weeks checkup. I then tried to call several gynaes for an appointment but was told they could only see me after a month.

I waited and waited, and when I did eventually see him he told me breastfeeding was painful and there was nothing wrong with my breasts. I was so angry. I wanted to ask him how he knew as he's never breastfed a baby before.

Faulty information #4: Three hourly feeds

I then took my baby to a paeditrician for a check up. He weighed my baby and plotted his weight on the growth chart. I was told he was 500grams below what he should be weighing. 

The paedictrician then told me to feed my baby every 3 hours during the day and every 4 hours at night. I asked him what should I do if he cries in between feeds, and he told me to let him cry and not give him the breast.

On our way home my husband and I were confused and our instincts told us that the doctor was wrong. How could we let our baby cry?

Faulty information #5: Top up with formula and introduce solids early

I had to return to my paediatrician for regular check-ups and each time I was told that my baby was still not gaining enough and I should top up with formula. My pediatrician also told me that I should start solids at 4 months. He even set up an appointment at 4 months to discuss how to wean. After doing research about when to start solids I cancelled the appointment.

Despite all the pain and bad advice I received from so-called experts I persevered. Although the tide of 'professionals' were against me, I had a very strong drive to breastfeed my son. I was determined to make it work. I went to a GP who told me to continue putting my baby to breast no matter how painful it was. She also diagnosed me with thrush (finally!) and  prescribed the appropriate medication. After 3 days I was pain free.

Faulty information #6: Can't breastfeed with psoriasis

But the fun didn’t stop there. I also developed psoriasis on my areola. I was very worried and was not sure if I could breastfeed with psoriasis as some online sources say that psoriasis medication can be dangerous to a baby. However more research, and a little common sense, led me to apply ointment onto my areola morning and night, then wipe it off before each feed.


I returned to work at 4 months (I'm in South Africa and we only get 4 months maternity leave here), but that didn’t stop me breastfeeding. I pumped for my son and also went home during lunch to breastfeed.

I'm glad I never gave up at the first challenge. I guess where there's a will there's a way.”


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Triumphant Tuesday: Breastfeeding a Dairy Intolerant Baby

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Most breastfed babies have no problems with anything their mother eats. Nursing moms can eat whatever they like, whenever they like, in the amounts that they like. However, whilst food sensitivities in breastfed babies are not nearly as common as many breastfeeding mothers have been led to think, one or two percent of babies will be inconvenienced with a dietary intolerance. This allergic reaction can go undiagnosed for weeks, even months, leading to chronic hardship for mother and baby. The condition may even get misdiagnosed as something completely different, as this week’s triumphant mom knows too well.


He was a tricky baby. I call him 'the lanky one'. After birth he was placed on my breast and the midwife helped him to feed. 

Unhelpful hospital staff

With hindsight he didn’t feed at all on this occasion and the next day I couldn’t latch him. I was allowed to leave hospital without any feeding being established, even after I’d asked for help and been told that he’d be fine. 

I was lucky that the midwife who came to visit me the following day was a breastfeeding specialist midwife. She’d run the antenatal breastfeeding class I’d been to. She took one look at me, bleeding, in obvious pain, and sent my husband to the chemist for some nipple shields. They worked wonders. I was able to feed my baby without pain... until I got mastitis, THAT was horrible. 

At 10 days my Health Visitor came for the first time.  She asked how long I intended feeding for and my reply was as long as possible. Definitely to 6 months. The lanky one wasn’t looking so lanky by this point and hadn’t regained birth weight and was still pretty jaundiced. Coupled with the mastitis it was obvious that the shields were causing a problem. I owe my breastfeeding relationship with my firstborn to my Health Visitor; she enabled me to feed painfree without nipple shields within about 5 minutes.

Incompetent GP #1


"He was super jaundiced".
Everything was great until about 3 weeks in. My baby was suddenly sick. A lot, and often. My GP told me that every baby was sick. Even now I have terrible guilt about this early GP visit. I didn’t feel listened to, I knew there was something wrong with my baby; other people’s babies weren’t so sick all the time surely?

Incompetent GP #2

We eventually saw a different GP just before Christmas. My baby was about 10 weeks old and diagnosed with reflux. The Infant Gaviscon didn’t really help so we were prescribed Gaviscon, Domperidone and Ranitidine. 

Yet the sick continued and he also developed colic symptoms. My poor baby was sobbing every night and I couldn’t do anything about it. Evenings were spent with him on my chest until he finally succumbed to sleep. We were still breastfeeding though, often and throughout the night too.


"After one of our many evening filled with crying and sick!"
Weight loss

Around 4 months he stopped gaining weight. Then started losing weight as he became more and more active. It was suggested we start him on solids but I declined. 

Later, my HV talked to me about the possibility of the sickness and crying being symptoms of a dairy intolerance. It was the beginning of March 2008. He was 5 and a half months old.

A change

After I stopped having dairy in my diet we saw a massive difference in the lanky one’s general demeanor. He actually fell asleep when tired in the early evening, rather that crying for hours. He stopped being sick in his sleep and he started looking a lot healthier. Even more so when I stopped eating Soy too, I was willing to sacrifice my comfort for his. Who needs milky coffee, cheese, creme brulée even! What was important was that my son was happy and healthy, and he was.

My breastfeeding relationship with him was fraught with tears, worry and heart ache, but I’m glad to say that we came out the other side happy.



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Triumphant Tuesday: Breastfeeding a Jaundiced Baby

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Jaundice happens because babies are born with more red blood cells than they need. When the liver breaks down these excess cells it produces a yellow pigment called bilirubin. Because the newborn's immature liver can't dispose of bilirubin quickly, the excess yellow pigment is deposited in the eyeballs and skin of the newborn. Jaundice tends to be more common in breastfed babies and to last a bit longer. In most cases, it's harmless, but jaundice phobia on the part of medical staff often creates obstacles to successful breastfeeding. The mother in this week’s Triumphant Tuesday pole vaulted over these obstacles with not one, but *two* jaundiced babies.


When I was pregnant with my oldest son, who is now 8, I had planned on breastfeeding.  I took a class offered by the hospital I was delivering at; and when I went into labor, at 38 weeks, I made sure they marked my records that he was to be breastfeed.  

Boobie-Trapped Birth

My son was born after a relatively eventful 8 hour labor in which I had a poorly administered epidural.  During his labor I was also confined to bed and was pumped full of IV fluids (what are we up to now, 2 or 3 boobie traps?)  He was born a healthy 6 lbs. 14 oz; and was immediately whisked away and put under the warmer lights for vitals, eye drops, etc.  His initial billirubin levels came back elevatedand I was told to breastfeed him as much as possible.  


Undergoing light therapy 

Commercialized Lactation Consultant

The IBCLC on staff stopped by once to see how breastfeeding was doing; but really she was more there to peddle her wears(pumps, pads, boppy pillows).  As my son's jaundice worsened the nurse told me to pump and finger feed him. I was handed a plastic teaspoon and was directed to hand pump colostrum into that.  I think you can image how well that worked out; it didn't.  No advice was offered, the IBCLC did not return. I felt like I was against a wall and already a failure.  I was alone, isolated and completely lost. 

Separation

In the middle of the night the nurse wheeled in a hospital grade breastpump (yes, it was on wheels and the size of a small car).  She spent about 5 minutes speeding over the basics and left me to "pump on my own in private".  The colostrum I expressed was minimal, and my baby was away from me in the nursery (because no one from the staff could bother with me; the Superbowl was well underway and our local team was in it for the first time in a long time.)  They eventually returned my son and had me feed him via syringe.  

Formula Supplementation

The next morning the pediatrician on staff told me we "needed to supplement" in order to combat his jaundice. This made me feel crushed, but as a new mother I assumed the staff pediatrician knew best. My son responded poorly to the milk based formula and was then put on soy formula.  We were released that afternoon, with instructions on follow up blood work for the jaundice and enough samples of formula to last a good month.  

Rude Relatives

At home I was determined to get him fully on the breast, however this was not easy. To make matters worse, I had a number of family members who were non-supportive of my breastfeeding - but they did it passively.  Questions about when I planned on weaning, off handed remarks about "when teeth come in", I was given a recipe for homemade formula - you get the idea. Despite these annoyances and after a month of battling with no outside breastfeeding support, I accomplished my goal and he was exclusively breastfeed.

Baby #2

Fast forward seven years and I am expecting my next little one.  This time I was determined to overcome all obstacles and set a goal of exclusively breastfeeding for the first 6 months, with the ideal goal being to continue until at least a year.  My husband was very supportive of the goal and attending breastfeeding classes with me and together we read up on the topic and became as informed as possible about breastfeeding.  This time I experienced an all natural, yet precipitous labor and my son was born in the triage unit of the hospital.  We had plenty of skin to skin time and he nursed within the first half an hour.  He weighed in at 7 lbs. 14 oz.  This time breastfeeding got off to a wonderful start, but I was again plagued by a jaundiced baby.

Hospitalisation

The day after we got home from the hospital the visiting nurse stopped by, observed our breastfeeding and took the baby's billirubin levels.  About 4 hours later; less than 24 hours after being home, we received a call from the pediatrician's office - the baby's bllirubin levels had shot way up and he needed to be admitted to the Children's hospital for care and observation.  It was heart crushing and scary.  

Bitter Nurse


In the hospital he was put under the blue lights and when I nursed him I had to keep him wrapped in a light therapy blanket. It was here that the staff nurse argued with me about my "nursing schedule". When I told them I was feeding on demand about every two hours or so one nurse responded very flippantly "that's not nursing, that's snacking".  The same nurse wanted to give him a pacifier. When I expressed concern over nipple confusion, she flippantly answered "there is no such thing."  Yeah, she was a real gem.  

Baby Deteriorating

Despite feeding around the clock, I was told that my son’s levels were not decreasing and I needed to pump so they could monitor how much he was taking in.  I obliged, and the doctor's were happy with my output and how much he was drinking. However by morning he was showing signs of dehydration and had stopped urinating.  His weight had dropped to 6 lbs. 13 oz, more than 20% less than his birth weight.  He was given an oral electrolyte and I was encouraged to keep nursing and pumping.  

As we neared nearly 24 hours of no urine he was put onto IV fluids; and then finally he started going to the bathroom and his jaundice improved.  Aside from being overwhelmingly scared, while he was being treated I feared him being offered formula as a way to "cure" the jaundice.  Thankfully that never happened this time.  

Today we celebrate 19 months of nursing.  Not only did I meet my goal of exclusively breastfeeding for the first 6 months; but I far surpassed my year goal.  

Initially, breastfeeding was important to me as it was "the right thing to do".  I wanted to be the best parent possible and in my eyes that meant breastfeeding. I wanted to offer the best possible start and get the bonding experience I've heard breastfeeding offered with my baby.  However breastfeeding has become so much more than that to me now.   I am training to be a breastfeeding consultant through an organization called Breastfeeding USA, which is an evidence based breastfeeding peer support group.  I have become really became passionate about breastfeeding and wanted to help other women obtain the same success I have.




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Timeline of Postpartum Recovery

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So you’ve just had a baby? Congrats! I bet you’re raring to get back to your aerobics class and daily jogs (huh? who are you telling to shut up?), but hold the sit-ups. Your body has its own timeline for recovery, and it’s important to take heed.

In less than a year, you conceived, developed and delivered a beautiful, living creature. To perform this feat your body underwent some tremendous changes. Even after birth, you'll experience more.

Whether you had a vaginal delivery or caesarean section, this timeline is for you. Being informed of the process of postpartum recovery will help you to appreciate the phenomenal transformation your body is undergoing.


Day 1:


  • You're already 9 to 12 pounds lighter now that you're no longer carrying a 6 to 8 pound baby, 1 or 2 pounds of placenta weight, and 2 pounds of blood and amniotic fluid.
  • The process of delivery has slowed the movement of food through the intestines, which may cause you to feel bloated or constipated.
  • After a vaginal delivery your vagina will be stretched open and may be swollen and bruised.
  • Vaginal bleeding as heavy as (and often heavier than) your menstrual period will occur. This is called lochia. It is a discharge of leftover blood, mucus and tissue from the womb. A sudden gush when you stand up in the first few days is normal. Because blood and the occasional clot are the predominant ingredients of lochia during these early days, your discharge can be quite red. Maternity towels, not tampons, should be used to absorb the flow. You have an open internal wound at the site where the placenta was attached to the uterine wall, and like any wound, this one is vulnerable to infection. Tampons could introduce bacteria.
  • Your uterus is shrinking rapidly in an effort to control bleeding and return to its pre-pregnancy state. You will experience abdominal cramps (afterpains) as your uterus contracts and shrinks (from about 1kg to just 50g) and makes its normal descent back into the pelvis. Breastfeeding will speed up this process, shrinking the uterus back to its normal size more quickly while pinching off exposed blood vessels at the site where the placenta separated from the uterus.
  • During pregnancy, your internal organs gradually shift around to make room for your growing baby. Now that your baby has suddenly gone from your uterus, your organs have to make their way back to their prepregnancy position. This can make you feel like your organs are just hanging in space. This feeling will pass over the next week or so, as your abdominal muscles regain some of their tone and your organs shift back into place.
  • Aside from the obvious lack of sleep and aftermath of gruelling labour, low potassium levels can contribute to a feeling of exhaustion. Eat plenty of potassium-rich foods, such as bananas, tomatoes, dried apricots, and plain yogurt.
  • You are likely to experience perineal discomfort, pain, numbness, if you had a vaginal delivery (especially if you had stitches).
  • You will experience discomfort sitting and walking if you had an episiotomy or a repair of a tear.
  • Difficulty urinating will occur. Some women feel no urge at all; others feel the urge but are unable to satisfy it. However it is essential that you empty your bladder within six to eight hours of delivery to avoid urinary tract infection, loss of muscle tone in the bladder from over-distension, and bleeding (because an overfull bladder can get in the way of your uterus as it attempts the normal postpartum contractions that staunch bleeding).
  • You may have haemorrhoids continued from pregnancy, or new from pushing. These are various veins in your ass that can be sore, itchy, bleed and generally make you feel your ass has turned inside out.
  • All-over achiness especially if you did a lot of pushing.
  • You may have swelling in your legs and feet. Reduce it by keeping your feet elevated when possible.
  • You may have bloodshot eyes from pushing.
  • Sweating and lots of it, particularly at night.
  • You can shower or take a bath as usual, but always use mild, unscented soap or just water when washing the perineum.
  • Bladder control may be practically non-existent in these first forty-eight hours or so, and decidedly dodgy for some time after. The cradle of muscles that supports your bladder and womb has been stretched by pregnancy and childbirth and it needs tightening up. Answer: do pelvic floor exercises (otherwise known as kegels).
  • Exercise: The pelvic floor muscles are the ones that you use when you want to urinate or defecate, and are the muscles you used to push your baby out if you had a vaginal birth. Strengthen the muscles by contracting the area around your vagina and anus. Hold it for 30 seconds. Do 8 contractions each time. Don’t worry if you cannot feel yourself doing them; the area will be numb at this early stage.
  • Caesarean section: Most women will require strong and effective analgesia for the first 48 hours after the operation.
  • Caesarean section: Within six to eight hours after delivery, your carers will be there to help you to sit up, get you sitting on the side of the bed, and start you walking short distances. Becoming mobile as quickly as possible is the best advice for post-cesarean mothers. The surgery and the anesthesia can cause fluids to accumulate, which may lead to pneumonia, so movement is very important.
  • Caesarean section: The lochia is frequently less heavy after a c-section, because the surgeon usually cleans out the uterine cavity with swabs before stitching up the walls of the uterus, thereby removing blood clots, pieces of membrane, placenta and other debris. Nonetheless, you will have lochia for several weeks and may pass small blood clots and experience some after pains when breastfeeding.
  • Caesarean section: The catheter that was inserted before your caesarean will usually be removed once you can walk to the bathroom. The IV line you had inserted before the operation will be kept in place until your ifntestines begin to work again. You will know this is happening when you start to experience rumbling in your stomach and gas pains. Ease the gas pains by avoiding carbonated drinks, or drinks that are very hot or cold.
  • Exercise: For mothers who have had a caesarean, medical professionals recommend gentle coughing to stimulate the area around the stitches. This stimulation will promote healing around the wound. Do this several times a day.


Day 2:






  • Now the first 24 hours have passed, you should contact your doctor if you have a temperature of over 37.8.C that lasts for over a day. This could signal an infection.
  • You may find yourself urinating a lot now (an astounding 3 quarts a day!) as the excess fluids of pregnancy is excreted.
  • Getting urine (which is naturally acidic) on raw skin will be traumatic and painful, and this is likely to continue until 2 weeks have passed.
  • Your uterus has shrank about a finger’s width since yesterday. It will continue to do this every day.
  • Exercise: Breathing deeply will help you get rid of any lingering anesthetic and will also help you get in touch with how your stomach feels (particularly useful if you’ve had a caesarean). Start with gentle breathing and gradually build up to deeper and deeper breaths.
  • Caesarean section: The sterile dressing that covers your incision will usually be changed today. 

Day 3:






  • Constipation should be easing.
  • Up until now, your baby has been extracting small amounts of colostrum, and your breasts have been easily handling the workload. Then it happens, your milk comes in. Your breasts become swollen, hard and tender. You may also develop a brief low-grade fever (less than 37.8.C) but this should last no longer than 24 hours.
  • Nipple soreness for a few days is normal as your breasts adjust to their new role (see 'Timeline of a Breastfed Baby'). Establishing an effective latch as soon as possible is important.
  • You can now feel the top of your uterus at or a few finger widths below the level of your belly button.
  • Caesarean section: Staples or clips are usually removed today. You may be able to return home.
  • Caesarean section: You will experience some pain around the incision as the anaesthesia wears off. The level of pain will depend upon your personal pain threshold and how many caesarean deliveries you’ve had (the first is usually the most uncomfortable).
  • Exercise: Mothers who have had a caesarean will particularly benefit from simple stomach pull-ins. Lie down and contract your pelvic floor muscles then try to pull in your abdominals. In these early days you may find these pull-ins hard, as any feeling in this area will be limited. Although the lower layers of the incision will be healing fast, there will be numbness around the area of the scar itself.


Day 4:




  • A midwife will intermittently visit you at home between now and day 10 to make regular checks on you and your baby (UK).
  • Around now, oestrogen levels plummet and are replace by floods of the mothering hormone, prolactin. These hormonal changes can lead to emotional mood swings commonly known as the ‘baby blues’. Symptoms include, feeling weepy, irritable or resentful toward your new lifestyle, fearful over the baby’s health, tired or disappointed by your birth experience. 80% of women will experience the baby blues (Murkoff 2009; Stoppard 2008).
  • Vaginal swelling starts to go down, and your vagina begins to regain muscle tone.
  • Caesarean section: You will now be sitting up and getting out of bed each day. Although walking is still likely to be uncomfortable and tiring, you will find that you can go a little farther each time you get up.


Day 5:


  • Lochia will change from bright red to darker in colour. The diagram shown here depicts how your lochia will change over the coming days and weeks.
  • Don’t overdo it. If you do you will feel weepy and you may notice an increase in lochia.
  • Caesarean section: Individual or continuous sutures are usually removed today.
  • Caesarean section: Your scar will appear rather red and raised at this stage and will also be tender to the touch. You may have quite a hard ridge along the incision, but it will gradually soften as it heals.
  • Caesarean section: You should always be careful during these early days of your healing when getting into a sitting or standing position. When you are lying down, do not reach for something above your head, which makes you pull across diagonally, as this motion will put strain on your scar. Always use both hands to push yourself up to an upright position.


Day 7:








  • It should be easier to sit down now if you previously had a tender perineal.
  • Afterpains will have eased significantly.
  • Your uterus now weighs a little over a pound – half of what it weighed just after you gave birth (Baby Center 2012).
  • Breast engorgement will be settling down.
  • By now you’ve lost about 4 to 6 pounds of water weight (Baby Center 2012).
  • General aches in the pelvis, chest, tailbone, back and legs are all normal.
  • If you suffered from puffy ankles, face and hands in the build-up to the birth, they will soon begin to go down.
  • The physical trauma of delivery may encourage the development of a bladder infection.
  • You may also experience urinary incontinence. This is because pregnancy, labour, and delivery weakens the muscles around your bladder and pelvis, making it harder for you to control the flow of urine. Plus, as your uterus shrinks in the weeks following delivery, it sits directly on the bladder, compressing it and making it more difficult to stem the tide. Hormonal changes after pregnancy can also batter your bladder.
  • Caesarean section: Most of your incision pain should have dissipated.
  • Caesarean section: The skin around your scar may become dry and itchy now. A light dressing may protect it from irritation, and you will probably be more comfortable wearing loose clothing that doesn’t rub.
  • Caesarean section: The area of skin around the womb may be quite numb because the nerves that innervate the skin have been cut. This superficial numbness is normal and is likely to continue for several months while the nerves grow back. Some women never get all the feeling back in the area around their scar.
  • Caesarean section: The upper edge of your scar is likely to be rather bumpy and sometimes overhang the lower edge when you are standing upright. This is normal and reflects the fact that the surgeon cut through several muscle layers and these take time to knit together again and provide a flat muscular wall.


Day 10:







  • By now you'll have only a small amount of white or yellow-white discharge, which will taper off over the next two to four weeks. Some women may continue to have scant lochia or intermittent spotting for a few more weeks.
  • The site of a laceration or episiotomy should be almost healed.
  • Your midwife will hand-over your care to the health visitor around now (UK).
  • If you had ‘rectus diastasis’ it should correct itself now. Rectus diastasis occurs when, instead of stretching over your baby as she grows, the rectus abdominal muscles in the front of your stomach pull away from the midline and separate (see diagram).


2 weeks:














  • Your uterus now weighs 11 ounces and is located almost entirely within your pelvis (Baby Center 2012).
  • You will still look quite pregnant at the moment. This is due to your still-enlarged uterus and left-over fluids, which should be flushing out soon. Another reason for your protruding postpartum abdomen is that your muscles and skin are stretched out and will take some effort to tone up. However it is important to avoid intense exercises such as sit-ups, crunches or curl-ups until you are four to six months postpartum. It will take this long for the connective tissues between the two bands of the main tummy muscle – the rectus abdominus – to strengthen to their original state.
  • If you have stitches they will become tighter as the skin surrounding them swells and the wound starts to heal. This can make sitting down uncomfortable.
  • If your stitches are dissolvable, they will dissolve around now.
  • Lochia will have now turned from red to a watery pink.
  • If you decided not to breastfeed, you will probably experience breast involution (shrinkage) around now. Involution refers to the process where the ductular-lobular-alveolar systems diminish in size because they are no longer required. This gives a sagging appearance. You may still experience sporadic leaking despite not breastfeeding.
  • The baby blues should be easing up now. If feelings of sadness persist into the second month you may have postpartum depression. You can take an online test HERE. This is the same tests doctors use to identify PPD sufferers. Postpartum depression is thought to affect around one in 10 women (and up to four in 10 teenage mothers) (NHS 2011).
  • 5 to 10 percent of women will experience 'postpartum thyroiditis', an inflammation of the thiroid gland. Postpartum thyroiditis causes no pain but produces a number of symptoms, including anxiety, emotional instability, muscle fatigue, lack of energy and depression, very much like PPD.
  • Your body still contains the hormone relaxin after the birth. This makes your ligaments more liable to strain, so don’t even think about doing aerobic or strenuous exercise until at least your six week check-up, though up to three months if you’ve had a c-section.
  • Caesarean section: You’ll properly be mobile now, and it is especially important that you protect your back. Your core muscles – your abdominal and lower back area –will be very weak, leaving you vulnerable to lover back injury or strain.
  • Caesarean section: There will be some pink, watery drainage from the incision. If the discharge continues for more than six weeks you should tell your doctor, as you may have an infection.


3 weeks:


  • If your lochia is still bright red, seek medical attention.
  • Your bump will have stretched the skin on your stomach, so it is likely to feel and look loose and floppy. It may even hang down when you stand or lie on your side.
  • You are unlikely to have gotten your waistline back yet.
  • If you had an episiotomy, the incision will have healed by now.


4 weeks:












  • A tear should have healed by now.
  • The darker pigmentation around your nipples will fade slightly now but will never completely vanish.
  • Most women find that their linea nigra begins to fade.
  • Only 7 percent of women claim to have resumed their sex lives by this point (McGolerick 2012).
  • Your uterus is now close to its pre-pregnancy weight of 3.5 ounces or less (Baby Center 2012).
  • You can now increase the intensity of exercise to incorporate gentle stretching, longer walks, moderate yoga and/or light aerobic activity.
  • Any stretch marks on your stomach, thighs or breasts will still be red and angry-looking.
  • If you had perfectly clear skin during pregnancy you may find yourself experiencing breakouts around now.
  • Decreasing estrogen levels may cause your hair to thin during this time, but only temporarily. In a couple of months, it should grow and thicken.
  • Some sources suggest that, “It’s not a good idea to have your hair permed in the first months after birth; Results are very unpredictable” (Ashworth et al 2004).
  • Caesarean section: You may experience occasional sensations of pulling or twitching and other brief pains around the incision site, particularly around the two end points of the scar, when you move around or pick things up. Some women will continue to feel this tension around their scars for several years, but it should not be painful, merely a physical reminder.


6 weeks:























  • It might not feel that way, but your energy levels have now returned to normal (Cattanach 2007). In fact, your aerobic capacity increases up to 20 percent in the first six weeks postpartum! (Bilich 2012).
  • You may get sick more often due to the effects of chronic sleep deprivation on your immune system.
  • Your vagina will have contracted and regained much of its muscle tone.
  • You will have a six week postnatal check now. Medical staff will measure your blood pressure and your abdomen will be examined to check that the uterus is well contracted.
  • If you aren’t breastfeeding your periods would normally kick in between now and 12 weeks.
  • This is the earliest you can safely use a tampon.
  • For most women, it is safe to resume sexual relations now (however if healing has been slow or you have had an infection your doctor may recommend waiting longer). When you start having intercourse, you'll probably find that you have less vaginal lubrication than you did when you were pregnant, due to lower levels of estrogen. This dryness will be even more pronounced if you're breastfeeding, because nursing tends to keep estrogen levels down (Baby Center 2012).
  • If you plan on using a diaphragm and your cervix has recovered, you will be fitted for one (throw away your old one, because it won’t fit properly anymore).
  • 50 to 60 percent of women still experience pain during sex at this point (Lev-Sagie 2012).
  • Lochia will have turned from a watery pink colour to brown, and the quantity should be significantly reduced.
  • By now, hemmorrhoids should have decreased or disappeared.
  • Afterpains will have ceased.
  • By now your uterus has shrunk from the size of a watermelon to an orange, and is now at pre -pregnancy size.
  • Your cervix will be on its way back to its pre-pregnant state but will still be somewhat engorged.
  • Backache (from weak abdominal muscles and from carrying baby) may continue. Half of all women experience backache for several weeks after delivering their baby (Murkoff 2009).
  • You may also still be experiencing joint pain (from joints loosened during pregnancy in preparation for delivery).
  • Hair loss may intensify.
  • Other changes to your hair may occur such as: new fluffy hair may begin to grow around the hairline, curly hair can straighten and straight hair can begin to wave; blondes often notice that their hair is darker. Luckily most changes are temporary.
  • The hormone relaxin has been affecting your connective tissue throughout your pregnancy and particularly if you are breastfeeding, it is still present in your body. This hormone softens and loosens the cartilage, ligaments, and tendons. Prime areas for injury during this postpartum period are the sacroiliac joints. If you trace the bones of your hips with your fingers, up and over the curve at the side and follow the downward curve at the back you will find two little hollows. These are your sacroiliac joints. Take note of this area and always treat it with respect.
  • Caesarean section: You will experience diminishing incision pain and continuing numbness.
  • Caesarean section: For insurance and health reasons, this is the earliest you will be able to drive.



2 months:

  • A reduced sex drive is normal, particularly if you are breastfeeding. Nature is doing her best to furnish you with the most reliable contraceptive of all – abstinence.
  • 50 percent of women claim to have resumed their sex lives by this point (McGolerick 2012).
  • Although all new parents are sleep-starved, if you feel beyond worn out day after day, ask your doctor to check for anemia.
  • Any postpartum vaginal bleeding should end.
  • Caesarean section: If the scar is healing as it should, you will experience itching rather than pain. Try not to scratch as this could cause an infection.
  • Caesarean section: If your menstrual cycle has returned, you may find that the scar becomes tender around the time of your period.


3 months:













  • Lochia is likely to be a yellowish white colour now.
  • Excessive sweating should have ceased.
  • Any excess hair you developed during pregnancy should now have disappeared.
  • You may still be experiencing urinary incontinence.
  • You can now increase the intensity of exercise and to incorporate more regular activity. However...
  • Your body will still be vulnerable to the lingering affects of relaxin, the hormone that’s released during pregnancy to loosen the joints and ligaments, increasing the risk of strain and injury. For this reason, high-impact sports, such as aerobics or running, are best avoided for six to nine months after birth in favour of low-impact activities, such as swimming or power walking.
  • Exercise: During your pregnancy your back was put under a lot of stress and strain, and your ligaments will have been softened by the hormone relaxin, so you are likely to have experienced some backache. You should now introduce some back-strengthening exercises to your daily routine. Lie flat on your front and put your hands on your head or behind your back. Lift your head and shoulders off the floor as far as you can. Hold for a second then release. Repeat 8 times.
  • Caesarean section: Your final check-up will occur around now.  Your blood pressure will be taken to check that it is normal. The incision scar will be examined to see that it has healed, and your abdomen will be felt to see if your uterus has reduced in size and shrank back into the pelvic cavity. Other checks may include urine and bladder function.


4 months:





  • If you are exclusively breastfeeding, most mothers experience the return of their periods between now and six months (Murkoff 2009).
  • You may find you have a tendency to gain weight around your stomach and back area now because your body is still in pregnancy mode. Keep working on your fitness regime and you will eventually manage to get rid of this excess weight.
  • By now your fitness regime can incorporate exercising at an intensity that makes you breathe pretty heavily and feel somewhat winded. You should, however, still be able to chat to your baby or sing to any music you are listening to (Gallagher-Mundy 2009).
  • Exercise: Now you are ready to perform full curl-ups (also known as ‘crunches’). Be meticulous with each lift you do, checking that you have lifted your shoulder blades off the floor and that you are pulling in on your abdominals as well.


6 months:



  • You can now exercise as you did pre-pregnancy. You’ll find that your baby is awake much more now, so you can include her in your work-out sessions. THIS book, written for fitness instructors, features some great exercises you can do while holding your baby. Think of your baby as an ever-increasing dumbbell – as she gets bigger and stronger, so do you because you are lifting more weight.
  • Most women have regained full bladder control by now (Murkoff 2009).
  • An Australian study found that women’s dissatisfaction with their postpartum body peaks at around 6 months after giving birth (Jolin 2009).
  • Stretch marks begin to fade (Heyworth 2007).
  • Up to 20 percent of women still report pain during sex at this point (Lev-Sagie 2012).
  • Exercise: You can now begin to up the intensity of your stomach exercises (even if you’ve had a caesarean). When you add twists and reaches to your stomach curls, you are bringing in the oblique muscles that wrap around the sides of your torso and support your back.


9 months:

  • It is safe to participate in high-impact sports now.
  • “9 months on, 9 months off” is a mantra you’ve probably heard. It refers to the common belief that “most women take about nine months to regain their pre-pregnancy shape” (Baird 2010).


1 year:


  • Your hair will be back to its prepregnant state. Any hair loss will no longer be noticeable.
  • Still not lost all the baby weight? You’re in good company. 60 percent of mothers are still carrying at least a few extra pounds at this stage (Baby Center 2010).
  • You may have a ‘bulbous tire’ around your middle. 86 percent of mothers say their belly still hasn't returned to normal by this stage (Baby Center 2010).
  • By now, you may notice a distinct difference in your body shape. Motherhood can turn an apple into a pear or a skinny "boy" bod into that of a mushy mommy. Even if/when you lose all the weight, some parts may have shifted and may not necessarily fall back into the same places.

Triumphant Tuesday: Breastfeeding Through Pain

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You will be forgiven for wondering why a mother would breastfeed through pain, for months on end. After all, the common adage is that, "If it hurts, you're doing it wrong". Pain is the result of poor latch or a treatable infection right? There is no need for a mother to endure months of pain.

But what if your baby has a rare chromosomal defect which means that feeding problems are inevitable and pain is part of the game. How do you summon up the courage to go on? This is Darby's story.


I know there is a time and a place for formula but sometimes I am a judgy mom. I jumped through hoops to breastfeed. I had lactation consultants scratching their heads, I shed more tears than I can count. Lets go back. 

6 weeks of finger feeding

When we had our first daughter I was an inexperienced new mom at 26. Our daughter did not take to breastfeeding and the initial 6 weeks were hard work. I finger fed and pumped around the clock until one day I pulled up my shirt and she latched like an expert. It was wonderful. She nursed for 14 months. I thought that was a struggle... nope.

Our second daughter was an expert right away. I think as an experienced mom it helped a little too...I nursed her for 22 months. We were done having kids...

Then 8 years later....I found out what a breastfeeding struggle really was.

Rare Condition


Our next daughter came along, born at home and latched right away. However she lost weight fast and kept loosing. The midwife checked her at a week and we heard a heart murmur. This was a whole other struggle but we later found out our daughter had 22q deletion. This means she has a missing section of chromosome 22. Present in 1 out of every 2,000-4,000 live births, the condition has the potential to affect almost every system in the body and can cause a wide range of health problems including heart defects, palate differences, feeding and gastrointestinal difficulties, and growth delay (even now at 2 years old she is barely 22 pounds). So no matter how much she ate, she just didn't pack on the weight. I nursed and I pumped so I could measure how much and when she was eating. 

Immense Pain

Somewhere in these first few weeks I started to get fissures on my nipples so bad that people would step back when they saw them. As an experienced nurser I knew my daughter was swallowing and getting lots of milk so I thought maybe it was a latch issue. Normal nursing feels like slight tugging but with no pain. I was feeling pain of a 10. I could barely bring my daughter to my breast because I knew the pain that was coming. Sometimes she would scream because I just couldn't do it. I would cry and cry and say, "I just can't do it." It just hurt too much. In an attempt to stimulate letdown my daughter would chew my nipple and pull and it was excruciating. I literally had open wounds on both nipples. One hurt less than the other so I would be happy when it was that sides turn.


I set up a chair in my bedroom so my other kids wouldn't see me crying when I fed my daughter. My oldest who was 11 at the time was starting to think breastfeeding hurt and had a look of fear about her future. I made it clear to her that this wasn't normal. There should be no pain. I sought help from lactation consultants and they just said I was doing it right and they were at a loss. Even the La Leche leauge couldn't help and I was a mess. I wept constantly because I now had a baby who had health issues, was so tiny and looked hungry (even though she chugged her milk and was getting plenty) and I literally panicked when it was time for a feed. Now I know that everything was down to 22q deletion syndrome. Her palate malformation was causing the pain, and her growth delay was a normal part of the syndrome.

Despite this, I never gave up. I almost marched out the door to get formula and bottles but I resisted. My baby needed the closeness and the nutrition, so I stuck to it. Even when she went to the hospital at 7 months for her open heart surgery I pumped so I could keep up my milk supply. The best moment ever was when she latched on for the first time after her surgery with a cuddle. 

"The best moment ever"
However there was still pain. To make matters worse I had thrush over and over and my nipples pealed. I tried various thrush creams and medicines. I even tried gentian violet a couple of times! (What a mess that makes!) No matter what treatment I tried, the pain remained. I always had sharp or throbbing pain during and after feeds. Yet I didn't stop and neither did the pain until my daughter stopped nursing at 22 months. A month later, my next baby arrived!

Nursing Through Pregnancy

Nursing through pregnancy was interesting. My daughter had to get used to being kicked when she fed! Also because of my growing belly, positioning got tricky and night times were exhausting. Even though my daughter was a toddler she was still waking to feed up to 5 times a night!! When she finally weaned, I put a sippy cup and water in her bed with her.

I delivered our son at home. At an hour old he latched on and it was heaven. No pain. I was thinking, this is how it is supposed to feel! He is 4 months now and feeding is going great and he is growing like a weed. My daughter even comes over to us while he is feeding and squeezes my breast to help. When she encountered a toy bottle for a doll she was clueless as to what it was!! 

I know there are times when formula is the only way but I am so glad I stuck it out. My son can nurse until he is ready to stop.




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Timeline of Baby and Toddler Sleep

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Are some babies inherently good sleepers, while others aren’t? Yes to a certain extent this is true. However natural variations are a lot less than most parents think. There are specific patterns of sleep which are universal to most babies and toddlers. This timeline, collated through years of research, will outline these typical sleep patterns. It will explain what sleep behaviour you can reasonably expect of your little one at each stage of their development.


In Utero:

  • Nestled in the sleep-inducing womb, the environment is consistent and perfect for sleep. It’s dark, warm, quiet, and when you walk or move about, your baby is rocked to sleep.
  • Your unborn baby sleeps twenty hours or more each day (Pantley 2009).
  • Your baby is used to hearing the comforting sounds of your heartbeat, the gurgling of your stomach, and the soft tones of your voice. Also, he never experiences hunger due to being permanently hooked up to a steady stream of nutrition. As a consequence of these factors, your baby seldom has difficulty falling to sleep (Holland 2004).
  • Waking periods are random and for very short periods of time.
  • Your baby is a very active sleeper. The kicking and poking sensations that you can feel are often movements made during sleep (Pantley 2009).
  • By the seventh month of pregnancy your baby will start to dream as their brain is now developed enough to partake in REM (rapid eye movement) sleep (Murkoff 2009).
  • Children dream more the younger they are (Einon 2004). 90% of the sleep of premature babies is spent in REM sleep (Hames 1998). Unborn babies dream most of all. What does a foetus’ dream about? We can never know. Maybe just flashes of sounds and murky sights.
  • If you’ve had a 4D scan, you may have noticed your unborn baby ‘smiling’ in their sleep. This is because during REM sleep, facial muscles can twitch, producing ‘sleep grins’ (Sears 2009).
  • Your baby is ‘nocturnal’. He is most active during the night time as there is more room to move, and less soothing rocking motions to pacify him.


1 Day Old:

  • You’ve waited 9 long months to meet your baby, and now she’s here, all she seems to do is sleep. Newborns live up to the old adage of “sleeping like a baby”. Wakefulness in the first few hours after birth, followed by a long stretch, often up to 24 hours, of intermittent sleep, is the normal newborn pattern. You will still need to wake your baby for feeds every 3-4 hours whether breast or formula feeding.  
  • At this point, the gestational age of your child would determine the sleep patterns or lack thereof. If your child was born early, use the EDD (expected date of delivery) as the true age to find out where your child might be within this timeline. So for example, if your baby was born 3 weeks early then at 1 month your baby would be 1 week old.
  • Your newborn is likely to fall asleep soon immediately after – and sometimes during – a feed.
  • Sleep is very erratic at this age and doesn't follow a pattern because basically the newborn's brain is still maturing. There is NOTHING a parent can do at this time to manipulate sleep. Don't force what is not possible.
  • If you watch your newborn while she is sleeping you will notice that there are times when, under her eyelids, her eyes flick frantically from side to side and she may frown, flutter suck, or wriggle her fingers and toes. This is REM or “dream” sleep. Unlike adults and older babies, newborns fall directly into REM sleep, a pattern that continues until they are around three months old.  
  • Your baby will spend half of their sleeping time in REM sleep, whereas you (as an adult) spend only a quarter of your sleeping time in REM (Friedman and Saunders 2007).
  • Your newborn sleeps in cycles of around 50 or 60 minutes of REM (dream) and non-REM (deep) sleep. After each cycle your baby has a partial awakening – this brief moment of semi-awakeness may startle your baby and make him wake up even more (Holland 2004).
  • Towards the morning the proportions of non-REM and REM reverse, so that much of your baby’s early-morning sleep is REM (Sears 2009). This explains why babies often wake up more during that time.
  • It is recommended that your baby sleep in the same room as you for the first six months.
  • Your newborn may sleep for as little as 11 hours to 20 hours out of 24.
  • She may make sudden, jerky, twitchy movements in her sleep. This is due to a normal reflex called the “startle” or Moro reflex. It sometimes occurs for no apparent reason, although often it is a response to a loud noise or a sudden jolt. It may seem worrying to you, but the reflex is actually a reassuring sign that your baby’s neurological system is functioning well.
  • Almost undetectable breathing is also normal. In deep sleep your baby can breathe very quietly and look completely still.
  • A baby sleeping bag is a safer alternative to traditional sheets as your baby cannot wriggle under them; however, during these early newborn weeks it can be effective to use a sheet and blanket, as this helps your baby feel more secure when he is tucked in snugly. Then from 6-8 weeks you can change to using a sleeping bag as your baby develops more mobility.


2 Days Old:

  • “The sleeping habits of a newborn baby are perfectly logical and sensible – unless you’re not a newborn baby, in which case they’re completely and utterly insane” (Cooke 2009).
  • By the second night, newborns are often much more awake. However, some babies, especially those who had a difficult or traumatic birth, or preterm babies, may continue to be sleepy most of the time for longer than the first two or three days (Fredregill 2004).
  • Your baby will generally sleep between 16 and 19 hours a day. He will sleep for 2 to 4 hours, wake with a cry, feed, then be awake for 1 to 2 hours, and settle back to sleep (Friedman and Saunders 2007).
  • Your baby is unlikely to sleep any more during the night than he does in the day. That’s because newborns have yet to develop a functioning body clock so they have no concept of a difference between day and night (Smith 2010).


3 Days Old:

  • Though your newborn’s alert periods are initially very brief, they will gradually lengthen.
  • Your milk will come in around now, and your baby will use quite a bit of energy feeding; also breast milk has a soporific effect, so it’s very likely that he will drift back into contented sleep as soon as he’s had his fill.
  • During these early weeks your baby shouldn’t go for more than six hours between feeds at night and three hours between feeds during the day (La Leche League 2006), so wake her up if she has slept for this long.
  • It’s normal for your baby to become fussy in the evenings, normally around 6pm. This is due to over-stimulation - there’s a lot to take in when you’re new to the world. Ease your baby’s discomfort by making his evening environment, dark, quiet and comfortable.
  • When your newborn has had too much stimulation he will habituate. That means she goes into a state that looks like sleep but is actually just a way of shutting everything out. It’s a form of self-soothing that infants use until about six to eight weeks, when they begin to develop other ways with coping with stimulation (West 2010).


1 Week Old:

  • Your newborn sleeps an equal amount of time during the daytime (8 hours total) and nighttime (8 hours total).
  • Your baby requires food every few hours and this need is accommodated by his light sleep cycles. 
  • If your baby is premature or has special needs, he is now likely to start waking more often at night. His sleep patterns will settle in time, but they will take longer than other babies (Johnson 2005; Pantley 2009).
  • There won’t be any semblance of a routine to your baby’s sleep at the moment and there’s little point in rigorously trying to introduce one.
  • The majority of your newborn’s time is spent sleeping and feeding. He will probably be alert only for short periods every day; he’s not mature enough to benefit from longer periods of alertness, and sleep (particularly REM sleep) helps him to mature.


2 Weeks Old:

  • By now, feeding will have become established, and hunger is likely to drive your baby’s sleep-wake cycles.
  • Around now, you will notice there is a particular time of day (or night) when your baby is almost always awake. For most babies this is the evening.
  • At this age your baby is likely to have their first growth spurt. During the growth spurt your baby may be restless, and her appetite will increase, especially during the night, prompting her to wake frequently for closely linked ‘cluster’ feedings. Growth spurts generally last 2-3 days, but for a few mothers they can last a week or so. 
  • After the growth spurt you are likely to find that your baby has a period where she sleeps longer (Lampl 2011).
  • You may be tempted to introduce formula in the hope that it will help your baby to sleep through the night. However there is no reason to do this. Sleeping patterns vary from baby to baby, and the evidence on sleeping through the night shows no difference between breastfed and formula-fed babies (Rosen 2008; Quillin and Glenn 2006).
  • Another thing that may be keeping your baby awake is colic, which begins in some babies around now. About 20% of babies get colic, which can last for three months or longer (McLaughlin 2009).
  • If your baby is not gaining weight well by the end of the second week of life, she should be awakened every two to three hours and encouraged to feed more frequently.
  • At this age, most babies aren't able to stay up much longer than two hours at a time. If you wait longer than that to put your baby down, she may be overtired and have trouble falling asleep.


3 Weeks Old:

  • Your baby will need time to adjust to life outside the womb, and some crying and wakefulness in these early weeks is simply a result of feeling strange and confused.
  • These first few weeks of your baby’s life are naturally disorganized. Each day may be completely different from the previous one, and imposing a rigid sleeping pattern on your new baby will not work.
  • At this stage, most mothers survive on an average of three and a half hours’ sleep a night (McLaughlin 2009).
  • Your baby will now be more aware of her surroundings and won’t sleep quite as effortlessly as he did when he was newborn. He’ll need a bit more rocking and soothing than initially and he’ll also wake more easily if he hears a noise (Cave and Fertleman 2012).


1 Month Old:

  • Gradually your baby’s periods of wake -fulness have grown longer, so that by now she is alert for a few hours a day (Friedman and Saunders 2007; Holland 2004). In fact, the mean percentage of daytime sleep has decreased from 82.4% at Day 2 to 62.8% now at 1 month old (Huang et al 2009).
  • Your baby can now comfortably stay awake 1-3 hours between sleep periods (Pantley 2009).
  • The average number of hours of sleep your baby currently needs in the daytime is 7 and in the nighttime is 9 (Hames 1998).
  • Don’t expect your baby to sleep through this night this soon. In fact, “if your newborn baby is sleeping through the night, this may not be normal” (Friedman and Saunders 2007). If your baby goes longer than four or five hours between feeds because she’s sleeping, this could be a sign of illness – she may lack the energy to wake and cry for feeds. Also if you’re breastfeeding, too few feeds in the first few weeks may mean your milk supply isn’t getting the stimulation needed to build up a really good supply (see, ‘Timeline of a Breastfed Baby’).
  • Nonetheless, your baby will sleep for longer periods than she did before, so that instead of one or two hours, she may be able to sleep for three or four.


6 Weeks Old:

  • Some believe that the earliest your baby will be physically capable of sleeping through the night without a feed is around now (Laurent 2009). Personally I believe the very earliest is 4 months (as does Cave and Fertleman 2012) partly because at 6 weeks...
  • Your baby’s second growth spurt will occur around this time prompting more night wakings.
  • After the growth spurt you are likely to find that your baby sleeps longer for a day or two (Lampl 2011).
  • The average 6 week old wakes 3 or 4 times per night (Galland et al 2012). This is a global norm.
  • It’s a myth that you need to get your baby on a strict schedule from the get go, and doing so may be dangerous because his body is not developmentally ready to wait several hours between feeds or sleep periods.
  • Not all babies have the ability to self-soothe at this age, so it’s important not to do any form of sleep training or ‘crying it out’.
  • Take advantage of your baby’s portability at this age. Many babies like to fall asleep in their carriers, in the car, or in a pram, and will sleep just about anywhere – in a restaurant, at the cinema, at a friend or family member’s house. His ability to sleep well “on the go” will change significantly at 4 months, when he’ll need to begin getting better quality sleep in a quiet, darker environment.


2 Months Old:

  • You might notice your baby starts to have three or four roughly consistent times of the day when she’ll reliably crash out. If you follow her lead and give her the chance to nap uninterrupted at these times, this should eventually turn into a couple of decent and consistent naps (roughly a couple of hours each).
  • Your baby’s nighttime sleep averages about 9 (broken) hours, with around an additional 5 (broken) hours of naps through the day (Holland 2004; West 2010).
  • Your baby’s brain will take longer to sort out daytime sleep, so napping will remain fairly disorganized this month – and probably until she’s about four months (West 2010). She will take three or four naps.
  • Towards the end of this month, at around twelve weeks, the morning nap should start to fall into place, lasting about one to one and a half hours and occurring around the same time each day (West 2010).
  • Around this time, your baby’s internal circadian clock starts to develop (circadian is Latin for ‘around a day’). It is situated in an area of the brain known as the hypothalamus. Her circadian clock is regulated by internal factors like hunger and tiredness, as well as external ones, such as light and dark, and his day-to-day schedule. She will probably have more periods during the day when she’s showing an interest in her surroundings. At night, she may be sleeping for longer stretches, typically up to four hours at a time, sometimes longer towards the end of the second month (Grace 2010; West 2010). This is known as a ‘diurnal’ sleep pattern. Some babies can sleep for up to eight hours at a time but this is pretty unusual.
  • For the majority of babies, one or more night wakings will still be a feature in this second month (Smith 2007).
  • There are no bad habits at this age; your baby legitimately needs your help, so feel free to rock, feed, bounce, or walk her to sleep.
  • From this age, or sometimes before, your baby may start to make ‘snoring’ noises in her sleep. These are caused by loose mucus in the nose and throat (common in young babies) and may be accompanied by a rattling in her chest, which you may be able to feel with your hand. You may also notice a pause in your baby’s breathing for a short period. Some babies have more of a throat gurgle, usually the result of having a sort and flexible airway. This resolves itself within a year or two as the rings of cartilage in the airway become more rigid. These snoring sounds do not usually interfere with your baby’s breathing and will disappear over the next few weeks. Always have any breathing irregularities, snores, gurgles or pauses in your baby’s breathing checked by your doctor. Although it is unlikely to be a serious problem.
  • If you have chosen to get your baby vaccinated, she will have her first set around now. Vaccinations can interfere with your baby’s sleep for a night or two (West 2010).
  • The average time for a 2 month old to be put to bed for the night is 9:51pm (National Sleep Foundation 2004).


3 Months Old:

  • Another growth spurt, hang in there. If you’re BFing, take comfort in the knowledge that nursing triggers hormones that will help you and your baby resume sleep after each feed.
  • After the growth spurt you are likely to find that your baby has a period where he sleeps longer. He may even add an extra nap or two to his usual quota (Lampl 2011).
  • Your baby is now less portable for day sleep. He will tend to need a quiet and familiar environment without a lot of light, noise, and distractions.
  • Your baby will need about 14 to 15 hours of sleep per 24 hours but now much more of this is night sleeping (about 11 hours), with about three and a half hours of daytime naps.
  • Production of melatonin, a hormone that promotes sleep by relaxing our muscles and making us drowsy, begins around now (West 2010).
  • Lots of parents find that three months is a bit of a turning point, in particular because your baby’s body clock is regulating, he’ll be able to take bigger feeds, and will naturally be able to go for longer stretches in between. However one or two night wakings is still normal.
  • Up until now your baby has experienced a phase of REM sleep at the beginning of each sleep cycle. However now that he has matured a little, this initial REM sleep phase is replaced by NREM (deeper) sleep. 
  • Some researchers believe at this age your baby should be confident sleeping without your nighttime assistance for more than just an hour or two (Smith 2009).
  • Your baby’s naps are becoming a little bit longer and there are blocks of time around the clock where sleep happens regularly.
  • Your baby can now comfortably stay awake 2-3 hours between sleep periods (Pantley 2009).
  • If you feel ready, you can start working on putting your baby down drowsy but awake for his nap, although at this early age he may need to be a little higher on the ‘drowsy’ end of that scale.
  • At this age, after two hours of being awake, your baby will start showing sleepy signs. He may: decrease his level of activity and go quiet; lose interest in people or toys; start yawning; rub his eyes; look ‘glazed’; become fuzzy or irritable; bury his head in your chest or turn away from you.
  • By now, you can probably get away without changing your baby’s diaper at night, as his skin no longer has a newborn’s vulnerability.
  • Between now and 6 months, most babies will begin to sleep through the night (defined as five consecutive hours) (Friedman and Saunders 2007; Pantley 2009). The usual scenario is that they drop a feed between 12am and dawn so they sleep through from an hour or so before midnight to six or so in the morning. Be aware that your baby might do this once and then not again for days. The first sleep through is often a big surprise to parents, especially the breastfeeding mother who will have exploding melons. About half of babies start ‘sleeping through’ at this age (Green 2002).
  • Your baby still has short sleep cycles (50 to 60 minutes), which means that even if they begin to ‘sleep through’, they may still stir, but are able to soothe themselves and put themselves back to sleep.
  • Your baby’s risk of SIDS reaches a peak at this age, so it is more important than ever to continue following good practice guidelines (found here).
  • Despite what you may hear from well-meaning friends that you should get your child into a sleep schedule, follow your child’s lead, and allow him to sleep when he wants to sleep and feed when he wants to feed. At this age, your baby’s biological and neurological systems are still too underdeveloped to embrace a schedule.


4 Months Old:

  • By now, most babies will sleep 12-14 hours out of 24 and for twice as long at night (8-10 hours) as during the day, although this will not be unbroken if your baby is still waking for feeds (Laurent 2009; Welford 1990).
  • The proportion of your baby's nighttime sleep has increased from 55.8% at Day 2 to 64.3% now at 4 months (Huang et al 2009).
  • Your baby will have a relatively peaceful block at the beginning of the night, but from the early hours onwards, sleep becomes much lighter and more fragile overall (Grace 2010).
  • Some studies suggest that the longest stretch of unbroken sleep your baby is capable of at this age is 6.8 hours (Huang et al 2009).
  • Ideally, your baby should aim to nap for ninety minutes or longer, morning and afternoon. A third late-afternoon nap can be shorter. She may well stir after ten minutes, and again after twenty to thirty minutes, predictable times for a partial awakening from a nap at this age (West 2010).
  • If your baby has begun waking when previously she slept through, it’s not necessarily a sign that she’s hungry and ready for solids, as many people believe, but more likely to be due to changing sleep patterns, which occur around now (Smith 2009). 
  • By 4 months, your baby has entered a significant cognitive milestone; her brain is going through an enormous growth spurt, which accounts for all of the increased alertness and distractibility. Consequently, she may start waking at night or taking short naps – even if she was previously a great sleeper.
  • Some paediatricians maintain that, “children older than 4 months have the ability to soothe themselves into sleep consistently, to learn how to fall and stay asleep, and to remember these skills from one night to the next” (Waldburger and Spivack 2009).
  • Your baby is now transitioning out of the “fourth trimester”. This means that her sleep and feeding patterns are more strongly regulating. Over the fourth and fifth months, melatonin secretion rises and non-REM sleep increases, meaning your baby sleeps more deeply than she did as a newborn. But the non-REM also means that each time she has a partial arousal, it’s more distinct, and she feels more awake (Coons and Guilleminault 2008West 2010).
  • Your baby is likely to have outgrown her moses basket, if you have been using one. However she might be weary of the large openness of his cot, which must seem huge compared to the moses basket. Hint: for the first few nights, put her in the moses basket inside the cot until she gets used to being in the cot.
  • Your baby is in the process of learning to roll over and will temporarily start waking up at night to practice this new skill. Unfortunately there will be a period before she learns how to roll back again, meaning that you may be summoned several times a night to reposition her when she has got stuck in an awkward position. Luckily this developmental phase rarely lasts for more than a week or two. 
  • Your baby cannot ‘sleep through’ without a feed until they are at least 5 months old and 15 pounds in weight (Waldburger and Spivack 2009). However some sources suggest that your baby is unlikely to need more than one night feed at 4 months (although she may want them), unless she was born prematurely and your doctor advises it (Laurent 2009).
  • If you are returning to work around now, don’t even contemplate any sleep training. Your separation from your child is going to be an adjustment all by itself.
  • If you’ve been swaddling, it would be best to stop now. Although it can be a wonderful tool for helping babies to sleep up until this age, it ceases to work well as babies become increasingly mobile. In addition, babies 4 months and older tend to burst out of the swaddle in the middle of the night, which means it also becomes a safety hazard.
  • When your baby was a newborn, deciding when to put her down for the night was as easy as watching for the signs of sleepiness she gave such as crying, yawning or rubbing her eyes. While your baby may still do these things (and you should still respond to them), you don’t need to wait for these signs before you put her to bed. You can now take more control of bedtimes, by putting her down at roughly the same time every night, with a similar routine. She will probably respond well to routine at this stage, and enjoy the rituals of preparing for her night-time sleep.


5 Months Old:

  • Your baby needs to sleep 3-4 hours during the day usually in three naps: a morning nap, an early afternoon nap, and a short nap before dinner (Friedman and Saunders 2007). Each nap will be around an hour in length, and their timing will be more predictable than before.
  • Some sources suggest that for a five-month-old baby, staying awake for 3-4 hours before going to sleep through the night is ideal (Skula 2012).
  • Play and interact with your baby when he’s awake and active between naps. At five months, he'll generally be able to stay awake for around three hours at a stretch.
  • Several studies suggest that your five-month-old will need a nap two hours after they wake in the morning; then again 3 hours after their first nap; and once again 2 hours after their second nap. These are your 5 month old’s optimal “sleep windows” in which it is easiest to drift off to sleep. The theory is, if your baby goes too far past this window – in other words, goes to bed too late for his age – his body becomes stressed and produces too much cortisol. This hormone acts as a stimulant, like adrenaline or caffeine; cortisol can cause your child to act ‘wired’ or appear to get a second wind, even when he’s overtired. Elevated levels of cortisol in your baby’s system have three possible effects: he’ll have trouble settling to sleep; he’ll wake more frequently throughout the night; or he’ll wake up to early in the morning (Waldburger and Spivack 2009; West 2010).
  • Each of your baby’s naps should last at least 1 hour. Why is the length important? Naps less than 1 hour are not considered restorative and do not significantly lower levels of cortisol.
  • Some sources suggest that your baby is now old enough for a sleep schedule and/or night weaning if this is what you wish to do (Waldburger and Spivack 2009).
  • If your baby is still feeding through the night, he is legitimately feeding out of habit – in other words, he’s used to eating something – and is taking part of his 24 hours milk requirement at night rather than during the day. If you wish, it is now possible for you to transfer your nighttime feeds to daytime feeds (not eliminate them) through a gradual process. When doing this, you may notice that he nurses more frequently through the day or nurses for a bit longer at each feed.
  • At this age your baby will begin having shorter REM periods of sleep and longer non-REM (Sears 2009). This means that he will sleep more deeply for longer than he did before.


6 Months Old:

  • By now, your baby’s world is an endless source of fascination, and she will be wide awake and alert during play periods. Whilst she’s more likely to sleep well after these interludes of intense activity, she may be less willing to cooperate at naptimes or bedtime – after all, there are so many interesting things to do.
  • Your baby’s brain no longer simply ‘shuts down’ when she’s tired, so she’s now able to stay awake at will, even when she needs sleep (Holland 2004).
  • From now onwards, your baby’s sleep cycle will gradually lengthen (Coons and Guilleminault 2008Grace 2010). This means less awakenings during the night.
  • According to some sources, your baby is now physically capable of sleeping for up to 12 hours at night uninterrupted and without milk (Cave and Fertleman 2012). However...
  • The average 6 month old still wakes two times a night (Cooke 2009) for an average of 23 minutes each time (Teng et al 2012).
  • Your baby will usually nap two to three times a day and then sleep for 10 to 12 hours at night, though not always continuously. The most important factor in how many naps your baby needs through the day is her ability to stay awake – particularly in the morning after a night’s sleep. A baby who can stay awake for 1-1.5 hours every morning needs three naps. A baby who can stay awake for 2-2.5 hours in the morning will start to nap just twice.
  • If your baby is only napping twice, the lunchtime nap will be longer, between 2 and 3 hours long (Cave and Fertleman 2012).
  • At this age your baby will experience another growth spurt. Once the spurt has passed you may find that your baby drops one of her night feeds altogether. This is because her sleep-wake cycles are becoming less dependent on hunger: as her stomach capacity grows, she can go longer without needing to feed.  
  • Your baby will likely be teething in earnest at the moment. The average age for a baby to cut her first tooth is around 6 months (Grace 2010). However whilst teething can interfere with sleep, it does so far less than many parents anticipate or believe. To ascertain how much sleep disruption stems from your baby’s teeth, compare day with night behaviour. If she’s her usual self all day but extra cranky or difficult at night, it is probably not teething causing it.
  • The risk of SIDS is reduced significantly by 6 months, likely related in part to a baby’s ability to roll herself over and lift her head effectively and also to the fact that she is more neurologically mature.
  • The Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths recommends that your baby shares your bedroom for the first six months, so she can now be moved to her own bedroom if you wish.
  • Your baby now has a growing sense of being an individual, and may wake up and miss you in the night.
  • Now that your baby has started solids, you may want to introduce so-called ‘sleep training’ (think Gina Ford), although it is unnecessary. If you’ve kept your baby in your room with you for the recommended six months and have decided to move her into her own room, allow her whatever time she needs to get used to this arrangement before starting any kind of sleep training. Bear in mind that most sleep therapists recommend that you wait until your baby is 12 months old before you attempt any sleep training which involves leaving your baby to cry (Hames 1999).
  • Your baby should neither go to bed hungry nor with too full a tummy. If your baby has started eating solid food, she should have this meal at least an hour or two before going to sleep at night.
  • When introducing new foods, it is best to offer them in the middle of the day so that you can see whether she tolerates that particular type of food. Then, if she gets an upset stomach, it will happen during the day and not the night.
  • Any significant change to your baby’s daily routine may lead to a period of increased waking during the night. One significant change that could happen around now is your return to work. As well as missing you, your baby will be coping with a new childcare arrangement.
  • Your baby is in the process of learning to sit up unaided and will temporarily start waking up at night to practice this new skill.


7 Months Old:

  • It’s pretty exhausting being a baby. At seven months, your little one still needs 12 to 14 hours of sleep per 24 hours to aid the maturing of his growing brain and body, so a couple of daytime sleeps are still necessary to make up the full quota.
  • Around now your baby will transition from three to two naps. You will find that your baby begins to shorten one of his three naps, in preparation for giving it up altogether.
  • Once your baby has given up one of his naps, it’s a tough time. Three naps seem like too many but two naps don’t seem like enough. You may find that your baby seems cranky around the time that he used to nap. You could try moving his lunch forward a little so that he has his afternoon sleep a bit earlier. It’s also a good idea to establish a quiet period around the time he used to nap, maybe reading a story to him or listening to music.
  • On some days he may still need a very short third ‘blip’ nap (often in the car or stroller), and on other days two longer naps will seem sufficient.
  • Some sources maintain that at this age, a *short* period of crying prior to falling asleep is normal and not harmful (Friedman and Saunders 2007). It can be your baby’s way of settling down.
  • Some connection between sleeping and eating remains, but the link is not as strong as it was. By now, a bigger stomach and a daytime diet that includes solids mean that most healthy babies do not need to feed at night (Friedman and Saunders 2007; Smith 2009; Welford 1990; Holland 2004), although they may do so as a source of comfort. “If he is waking at the same time every night, that’s a pretty good indication that it’s habit” (Smith 2009).
  • After an hour or two of sleep, you may hear your baby fuss. This awakening is likely to be a sleep arousal, an event that occurs every 60 minutes or so during sleep. Allow your baby the opportunity to put himself back to sleep before going in to check on him.
  • Around now your baby will begin to experience what is known as ‘separation anxiety’. He may suddenly become difficult to settle and get upset when you leave him to go to sleep. Bedtime and night-time awaking may suddenly become complicated by problems that up till now hadn’t bothered him. He may also be uncharacteristically frightened by loud noises or changes to routine, and he may start to wake at night and cry for you. This is a normal and temporary phase. A ‘transitional’ object may help him now (e.g. comforter). 
  • Don’t be alarmed if you see your baby start to adopt strange sleeping positions, even curled up on his stomach with butt in the air and head to one side. If your baby can roll onto his stomach to sleep he should be able to roll back if he wants to: the stomach position is more of a worry for younger babies who can’t move themselves. This new mobility is a sign of your needing to worry less – not more!


8 Months Old:

  • You may find another disruption in your baby’s sleeping patterns around now. This is a time when your baby will hit many developmental milestones (sitting unaided, pulling up, shuffling, perhaps even crawling). Reaching a developmental milestone is like winning the lottery for your child; she’ll be so revved up with excitement and wanting to practice her new skills that she won’t feel much like sleeping. For this reason, don’t attempt any form of sleep training if your baby has reached a developmental milestone in the last seven to ten days.
  • A common consequence of hitting important developmental milestones is very early waking – the pre-six o’clock syndrome. However it is usually short-lived as your baby becomes accustomed to her new skills. You can optimistically expect it to last only a couple of weeks. If early waking lasts longer than this, it is worth checking to see whether a regular early-morning noise could be waking your baby up, such as a train passing, the build-up of traffic if you live near a busy road, or simply the dawn chorus of birds. Try moving your baby’s sleeping place away from the window, out of earshot. 
  • Between 60-70% of 8 month olds are able to fall back asleep without parental assistance, although not consistently (Porter 2007). 
  • By now babies have generally settled into a regular pattern of two naps per day, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. You will probably find that your baby is sleeping a little longer at night once he has started taking just two daytime naps.
  • Your baby will need to sleep 2 to 3 hours total during the day.
  • The optimal ‘sleep windows’ for a eight-month-old suggest that your baby will need a nap 2 hours after waking in the morning; then again 3 hours after they wake from their first nap (Waldburger and Spivack 2009).


9 Months Old:

  • Your baby can now comfortably stay awake 2-4 hours between sleep periods (Pantley 2009).
  • Your baby needs about 14 hours of sleep per 24 hours. Nighttime sleeping will total about 11 hours (71.2% of all sleep) and may no longer be broken up with any feeds except during phases when your baby is teething and needs comforting, or your baby is going through a growth spurt (Huang et al 2009).
  • Some babies tend to wake at sunrise, raring to start their day. If your baby consistently wakes up at this time, consider whether she needs a slightly later bedtime or shorter daytime naps – she is unlikely to sleep 12 hours at night at nine months if she has had a couple of three-hour sleeps through the day. 
  • It’s quite common at this age for babies who had been sleeping through for some time to start a phase of night waking again. This change occurs at about the same time that babies discover a toy or other object that disappears under a cloth actually still exists. Psychologists call this intellectual breakthrough ‘object permanence’. From your baby’s point of view, it means that out of sight is no longer out of mind. The same thing happens in the middle of the night: when your baby wakes up and finds herself alone, she now knows that you are nearby even if out of sight, so she cries for company.
  • Your baby may now find it harder to drop back to sleep without you to help her. She may have become very attached to a particular method of going to sleep, whether that involves sucking a pacifier, holding a toy, or being cuddled by you, so she then needs this again when she wakes at night.


10 Months Old:

  • Around this age your baby’s sleep patterns become very regular, so that he wakes up and goes to sleep at around the same time every day, and his sleep spans are longer (Holland 2004).
  • Your ten month old will need around 13 to 15 hours total sleep in a 24 hour period.
  • By this age, your baby has almost certainly dropped their third nap (Waldburger and Spivack 2009). 
  • The optimal ‘sleep windows’ for a ten-month-old suggest that your baby will need a nap 3 hours after waking in the morning; then again 3-4 hours after they wake from their first nap. One of these naps, often the morning one, will be longer (Johnson 2005).  
  • Your baby’s increased mobility may mean it takes longer to get him to lie down and go to sleep in his cot. This is the age when many babies first discover they can stand by pulling themselves up with the help of the bars on their cots.
  • For some babies of this age, periods of REM sleep (dream sleep) can be a noisy affair: your baby may cry, laugh, talk roll over on to all sides, and practice everything she knows how to do, and yet still be more asleep than she is awake. Try not to interfere with this natural aspect of sleep too quickly. Wait for a moment (for example, by counting to ten) before intervening and comforting her. It is likely that your baby will fall back into deep sleep herself.


11 Months Old:

  • At this age, your baby is likely to be steady on two naps per day. What may happen, however, is that she begins to resist either her morning or afternoon nap, which may lead you to think that it’s time to transition to one day a day. Not quite! Almost all children make this shift after their first birthday, but those who attempt to nap only once a day too young quickly become exhausted (and have terrible night waking due to being overtired). A child who begins to protest her two-nap schedule is, however, able to stay awake longer during the day, in slow but steady increments.
  • About one in five 11 month olds is still waking at least once during the night (Ashworth 2004 et al).
  • At the moment your baby is all about movement. She’s crawling, probably pulling to a stand and cruising, perhaps even walking. As your baby continues to be able to move her body more and more efficiently away from you, particularly once she begins crawling or walking (or even thinking about doing so), separation anxiety reaches a fever pitch. Sleep (unless you’re cosleeping) is yet a form of separation, so you may begin to see some serious protesting around going down for a nap or even for bedtime at night. You may find your baby suddenly starts taking very short naps, as they loathe being apart from you (Porter 2007).
  • Now would be a good time to remove your cot bumpers (so she won’t use them to help her climb out), and put the mattress on the lowest possible setting. For safety, be sure you’ve removed all other toys or objects she could stand on.
  • If your baby is resisting her naps, she is likely to be overtired by the time she goes to bed at night. Consequently, her body will produce the stress hormone cortisol, which can cause her sleep to be choppier and more fragmented throughout the night and can trigger early-morning waking as well.


12 Months Old:

  • Happy birthday baby! The average parent has lost a whopping two months of sleep by their baby’s first birthday (Smith 2010; Think Baby 2007).
  • At this age, your baby will need to sleep around 12-14 hours in 24 (Laurent 2009).
  • Your baby can now comfortably stay awake 3-4 hours between sleep periods (Pantley 2009).
  • Beginning now, most babies will nap for a total of 2-3 hours during the day. This usually consists of two naps - one in the morning, and one in the early afternoon.
  • At this age, most babies sleep through the night, but may awaken early for a breast or bottle fed, then return to sleep for an hour or two (Spock 2004).
  • Your baby can now have a low-tog, cot-sized duvet and pillow, but keep a careful eye in case he learns to use it as a step to help him climb out of the cot (if you’re not cosleeping, that is). Adjustable cot bases should be at the lowest position now to foil your intrepid explorer and any toys large enough to be used as steps should be removed from his cot.
  • Your baby is physically capable of taking in all the calories and hydration that he needs during the day rather than at night (exceptions: when your child is sick, if he has allergies that cause him to cough, or if he is taking medication that can increase thirst, he may need additional hydration at night).
  • At this age, 39 per cent of babies are still not sleeping through the night (Think Baby 2007). Some sources suggest that the number is closer to 50% (Welford 1990). Of these babies, 50% typically required parental intervention to get back to sleep (Goodlin-Jones et al 2001).
  • If you’re weaning your baby from their pacifier, bottle or blankie (as a lot of parents chose to do around now), be sure not to do any sleep training at the same time.


13 Months Old:

  • Your toddler may vary a lot from day to day at this period, even going back to a 9am nap after two weeks of refusing it (Spock 2004). 
  • Now that your toddler is in her second year, she may be sleeping for considerable stretches at night.
  • 43% of American toddlers this age have a parent/caregiver present when they fall asleep (National Sleep Foundation 2004).


14 Months Old:

  • Your busy toddler still needs plenty of sleep but will be reducing the length of his daytime naps now.
  • Around now your child’s first molars – the big, awkward teeth at the back of the gum – will appear, which may disrupt his sleep for a few days.
  • At this stage, 70 percent of parents report that their toddler wakes them at night, the average being two to three nights per week (National Sleep Foundation 2004Galland et al 2012).
  • You may notice that your toddler takes longer to fall asleep now and sits in his cot babbling away.


16 Months Old:

  • The optimal ‘sleep windows’ for a sixteenth-month-old suggest that your toddler will need a nap 3-4 hours after waking in the morning; then again 3-4 hours after they wake from their first nap (Waldburger and Spivack 2009).
  • A third of toddlers this age wake in the morning before their parents do, at least a few days a week (National Sleep Foundation 2004).
  • Around now your toddler will transition from two daytime naps to one nap. This is a gradual process. One some days, your toddler will may still need a second ‘blip’ nap, and on other days one nap will suffice. To get by on one nap, your toddler needs to be able to stay awake for four hours after she wakes up in the morning and for six to seven hours before going to bed for the night. 
  • When your toddler starts taking just one nap, her night-time sleep with usually lengthen by 30 or 40 minutes; often you will notice that her night-time sleep shortens a little in the weeks before this happens. 
  • The morning nap is likely to be the one your child gives up, however you don’t want to rush the process if your child is still benefiting from this important sleep time. Morning naps have more dreaming, or REM sleep, which is what makes them so important to infants and young babies, who require more REM sleep than older babies and toddlers because of the type of brain development that occurs in the early months. 
  • Your toddler’s only remaining nap is likely to happen after lunch, in the early afternoon, and last between 2 and 3 hours.


17 Months Old:

  • Many toddlers of this age feel more secure when their daily life is familiar and expected. Some paediatricians claim that you are more likely to get an uninterrupted night’s sleep if your toddler is used to being put to bed at a regular time (Laurent 2009).
  • At this age, your toddler can’t stop moving and doing, but ironically, he needs his sleep more than ever; approximately 13 to 15 hours in a 24-hour period to be precise. The best way to tell where your child falls in this range is to watch his energy level, mood, and behaviour. If he wakes in the morning after 10 hours seeming tired or has a hard time making it to nap time, he’s not getting quite enough night sleep.
  • 27 percent of toddlers this age change their sleep location during the night (National Sleep Foundation 2004).


18 Months Old:

  • Your toddler can now comfortably stay awake 4-6 hours between sleep periods (Pantley 2009).
  • Don’t be surprised if bed comes top of the list of places your toddler would least like to be. Bedtime involves relinquishing toys, family and fun – so your efforts to put her down for the night may be met with considerable protest.
  • The most common ‘sleep problem’ for a child of this age is early waking (Grace 2010). Your toddler is all too aware of the delights of the coming day.
  • After 18 months, your toddler may be able to stay awake a bit longer at night, perhaps until 8pm. Don’t change their bedtime, though, unless your child is having trouble settling to sleep. If she’s still going down at 7.30 and sleeping just fine, then you have the right bedtime!
  • Some sources maintain that your baby should now be able to go twelve, even fourteen, hours from dinner until breakfast, without a bedtime snack except perhaps a glass of water (West 2010).


20 Months Old:

  • The optimal ‘sleep window’ for a twenty-month-old suggests that your toddler will need their one and only nap in the early afternoon after lunch (around 2pm) 5-6 hours after waking in the morning. This will take advantage of your child’s natural dip in energy and biological rhythm. The nap will usually last 2-3 hours (Waldburger and Spivack 2009; Margo 2010).
  • Some sources indicate that the best time for your toddler to go to bed for the night at this age, is around 7pm, and the best time for getting up is between 6.30 and 8am (McLaughlin 2009). 
  • The average time for a 20 month old to be put to bed for the night is however 8:25pm (National Sleep Foundation 2004).


21 Months:

  • By this age, 88 percent of toddlers take only one daily nap (Kuhn and Borgenicht).
  • By now, your toddler may have developed her own unique signals that she is sleepy and ready for a nap, like asking to read stories or to snuggle with a special stuffed animal.


24 Months Old:

  • Your child needs around 12-13 hours sleep in a 24-hour period, including a daytime nap. 85% of two year olds take a nap every day or almost every day (Pantley 2009).
  • His daytime nap will range from 2-3 hours in length.
  • Your toddler can now comfortably stay awake 5-7 hours between sleep periods (Pantley 2009).
  • The optimal ‘sleep windows’ for a 2-3 year old suggest that your toddler will need their nap 6-7 hours after waking in the morning (Waldburger and Spivack 2009).
  • Around now your child’s second molars will be pushing through his gums. These large, flat teeth can take a bit of time coming through and can cause a lot more discomfort than any of his prior teeth. Sucking on the breast or pacifier may be painful as it can make your child’s gums hurt. So if your toddler uses this as a way to get to sleep, he may find it difficult for a few days. 
  • Bedtime tantrums may peak around now. If your child is regularly having tantrums at bedtime it may be because he is generally overtired. If this seems the case check that he’s getting enough sleep during the day – especially in the early afternoon.
  • By their child’s second birthday, most parents have missed out on the equivalent of 6 months of sleep (Think Baby 2010).
  • 43% of toddlers require longer than 30 minutes to fall asleep at this age (Green 2006).
  • 52% of toddlers are still waking during the night at this age (Green 2006).
  • 82% of toddlers are still wetting the bed at this age (Green 2006).
  • After all those sleepless nights it may seem almost impossible to believe it, but by this age your toddler has spent more of his life asleep than awake (McLaughlin 2009).
  • Now that your toddler has left his babyhood behind him, you may be considering transitioning him from his cot (or cosleeping arrangement) to a ‘big bed’. However I do not recommend doing this until age 3. It’s usually better to keep your toddler in his cot, which allows him to feel safely contained. This way, he can feel confident in his ability to take giant emotional and developmental leaps during the day but still regress to the coziness and security of his good old cot at night. “Children who switch too young to a bed may experience sleep disruption and difficult bedtimes with tears and tantrums” (West 2010). However if your child has shown lots of interest in sleeping in a bed or has climbed out of his cot frequently, it may be time to make the change. A good rule of thumb is that toddlers who are 91cm (3ft) tall will need a ‘big’ bed – they are tall enough to vault out of their cots.
  • If your toddler is still using a sleeping bag, you may find that he is able to undo the zips and poppers himself and climb out of the bag during the night and then be unable to get back in. This can interfere with sleep when he gets too cold. (Hint: turn the sleeping bag back to front so that the zip is out of reach).


30 Months Old:

  • If you have yet to move your child into a big bed (I suggest waiting until her third birthday), it can be useful to set up the bed in her room around now, so that she gets used to seeing it and practising lying in it. It also gives your child the feeling of having a ‘choice’ between the two.
  • Your toddler will probably spend around 11-12 hours asleep at night.
  • As your toddler has now built up a rich vocabulary, they may begin to talk about their dreams.
  • At this age, aiming for about an hour of moderate exercise each day, will help your child fall asleep more easily at night and stay asleep. This could be a run around the garden, a trip to the park, or a walk to the local shops.
  • Chances are that your toddler doesn’t go straight to sleep when you put her in her cot/bed. In fact, forty percent of 30 month olds take 30 minutes of more to fall asleep. This is the most common scenario, followed by thirty percent taking 20-30 minutes, twenty percent taking 10-20 minutes, and ten percent taking less than 10 minutes (Nicholls 2009).
  • At this age, your toddler “may start to enjoy her afternoon nap and perhaps even ask to be put to bed sometimes” (Cave and Fertleman 2012).


3-5 Years Old:

  • It is estimated that about 25 percent of children this age snore at least sometimes and about 12 percent snore often (Margo 2010).
  • Your child is likely to have moved from cot to bed now. Initially, he may find this a difficult transition to make. He may be anxious, finding it difficult to settle and waking during the night. Also, for the first few weeks, he may fall out of bed. To prevent this, you can buy a bed guard that fixes on to the side of the bed.
  • As a result of the transition from cot to bed, you may have a little ‘night visitor’ arriving at your bedside at all hours. 
  • 28 percent of preschoolers change their sleep location during the night (National Sleep Foundation 2004).
  • Good news: Your child is starting to develop some self-regulation skills, meaning that he can listen to instructions, stop his body from doing the first impulsive thing he feels, and sit quietly for short periods. By the way, these are exactly the skills that will come in handy when you ask your child to stay in his bed at night (if not cosleeping).
  • Bad news: With an onslaught of language development and an increase in cognitive abilities, your child can finally ask for things. “One more story”, “One more cup of juice”, and other such requests can become effective tactics to stall bedtime for even the most steadfast parents. Although children this age typically still want to please their parents, they also want increasing independence and learn that they can manipulate to get what they want.
  • Half of parents with a child this age have to be present in the room while their child falls asleep (Margo 2010).
  • It should take your child about 20 minutes to go to sleep (Margo 2010). However...
  • At this age, your child is very good at keeping himself awake, even when he is feeling exhausted. If your child is often irritable during the day, the chances are that he’s tired because he’s not getting enough sleep at night. Inadequate sleep is also often linked with aggressive or impulsive behaviour, ‘hyperactivity’ and inattentiveness. Your child might become so fragile that any small discomfort or frustration will make him start to cry inconsolably.
  • Your child still needs approximately 11 to 14 hours sleep in a 24-hour period.
  • Your child’s sleep cycles have increased from 40-60 minutes (when he was a baby) to about 90 minutes and will stay this length for the rest of his life (Skula 2012).
  • By the age of three your child now spends approximately 33 percent of his sleep in REM sleep (Margo 2010).
  • Most children start to give up their daytime nap between the ages of 3 and 4 years. However 25 per cent of children continue to nap at the age of five years (Holland 2004). 
  • If your child begins to regularly play during nap time and not sleep. Your child's one nap might be on its way out. Giving up their nap is a gradual process, sometimes lasting a year (Pantley 2009). You may find that the nap gets shorter and shorter over time until it is eventually dropped. It's important to see a pattern with this when you finally decide to end napping on a regular basis. If one day your child doesn't nap but does the next day, you might consider still giving him the opportunity to nap until he regularly doesn't take the nap. At this point, keep the nap in your back pocket so to speak, he might need one occasionally.
  • If your child has given up their nap, you may find that they still fall sleep in the car or stroller during the day.
  • Even if your child doesn’t want to sleep at nap time, he still needs to rest. Try to make a routine out of nap time whether your child sleeps or not by, say, playing some soft music or reading a gentle story. This will help to lower his cortisol levels somewhat. It can be useful to give your child some idea of how long nap time will be; one way of doing this is to put on his favourite CD and say that nap time isn’t over until the CD is finished.
  • If your child has given up their nap, they may start waking up in the middle of the night. This is normal. At the beginning, your child is still a little bit overtired from this new "no napping" lifestyle.
  • If your child is still napping, the optimal ‘sleep windows’ for a 3-5 year-old suggest that your child will desire their nap 7-8 hours after waking in the morning (Waldburger and Spivack 2009).
  • Some children will push their nap later in the day (say to 2pm), and some drop their nap altogether. Once your child has given up his nap altogether, his nightime need for sleep generally increases by an hour or so.
  • Your child is going through many developmental changes, and these may affect his sleeping patterns in new ways. Major transitions at this age include the arrival of a new sibling, potty training, starting preschool, and transitioning to a bed. Unresolved feelings about all of these issues can lead to separation anxiety and can cause fears at bedtime, protesting behaviour, and night waking. Whenever possible, avoid allowing your child to take on more than one of these big changes at a time (Mulholland 2009).
  • One of the best things you can do to help your child to feel secure and to sleep well is to stick to his regular bedtime routine. Not only will this be a source of reassurance and stability in his changing world, but it will also play a crucial role in helping him to unwind after all the excitement and activity of a typical preschooler’s day.
  • You may find that your child starts needing more sleep as he grows rather than less. For example, children starting preschool often seem to become more tired because of the social and educational demands made on them. Watch out for signs of increased tiredness, which may include cross and irritable behaviour in the mornings and in the evenings. 
  • Your child is unlikely to be consistently dry through the night. Although the average age for completing daytime potty training ranges from 28 to 36 months, nighttime training very often comes much later – even years later! Children’s brains have an easier time recognising when their bladder needs to empty itself during the day than they do at night. It is normal for a child not to complete potty training until 5 or 6 years old (Waldburger and Spivack 2009). Most doctors won’t consider giving any form of therapy to children who wet the bed under the age of 7 because so many grow out of the tendency by themselves by this age (Welford 1990).
  • 30% of four year olds go to sleep with the lights on (Green 2006).
  • 39% of four year olds have nightmares at least once every two weeks (Green 2006).
  • 56% of four year olds still wake during the night (Green 2006). The average frequency of waking is two to three nights per week 27 (National Sleep Foundation 2004).
  • 69% of four year olds require more than 30 minutes to fall asleep (Green 2006).
  • Somewhere between a fifth and a third of all families say they have a sleeping problem during the preschool years (Hames 1998)
  • If you have never succeeded in establishing a regular bedtime, it’s not too late to introduce one. The added bonus with a child of this age is that you can explain in words what you want him to do, and he can understand and remember much more readily.
  • Between the ages of 3 and 5 children quite often have bad dreams and night terrors. This is normal because while his understanding of the world is growing, he can’t entirely make sense of it, and so he goes to sleep with unresolved questions.
  • By this stage, most children’s sleep patterns become like those of adults (Sears 2009).
  • By four years old your child can comfortably stay awake 6-12 hours between sleep periods (Pantley 2009).


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Triumphant Tuesday: Breastfeeding a Baby with Facial Malformation

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Medical staff have a trigger happy tendency to push formula upon babies at the best of times. However, when confronted with a baby that doesn't fit the textbook norm, the drive to push formula is even more relentless. Rather than research or seeking specialist knowledge, medical staff who find themselves in this scenario often give half-hearted assistance and blind guesses before resorting to bottle-pushing, as this mother found out.

I always knew I'd breastfeed, formula wasn’t even considered. I did plenty of research on latching, I felt so prepared! Even so, our problems began right at the start of our journey. 

Hostile Hospital Staff


When Evelynn was born I noticed she had a flattened nose, making it hard for her to breathe and suckle at the same time. Consequently she kept pulling off. I asked the hospital staff to watch me nurse and they said the latch was great and that my daughter needed to eat right away. They said I wasn’t giving her enough. I insisted I wanted to go home but they kept me in for two nights. They told me over and over that my baby needed more food but didn’t do anything productive to help me feed her.

After several more attempts I said I didn’t think she could breathe whilst she fed. They offered saline drops to clear her nose and told me to ring every time she wanted feeding. However as they were busy, every time Evie wanted feeding it meant I had to wait for them to arrive, then wait for them to go get the drops, then administer them, and in the meantime I had a screaming newborn! The drops didn’t even work though as her nose wasn’t ‘blocked’ - it was flat. 


I also suspect Evie had a light lip-tie. When she was latched on I felt strange sensations and spasms on my right side, possibly vasospasm. The staff also kept bringing me more pillows so I could have her higher on my lap, which just squished her face more into my breast. 

The next day they said they needed to see her feeding chart before they would let me go home. This was the first mention of a chart I heard! I hadn’t kept one. A nurse said that she would need to give formula if I didn’t feed her. So in the end I dripped the colostrum straight into her mouth.

To confuse matters further, when Evie was asleep I asked if I should feed her. The nurse replied, “She’s asleep! Yes feed her when she wants, but no don’t wake her!” She looked at me like I was nuts. 

The next night, a student nurse sat with me while Evie fed for an hour. She kept assuring me that although it didn’t seem like Evie was sucking or swallowing (I couldn’t see movement or feel/hear sucking) while she was latched “she must have had something”. It was that feed which allowed me to leave the next day after being asked if I was confident breastfeeding. I wasn’t but I said yes just so I could go home and see my local breastfeeding team.

Call in the Pros

When I arrived home the breastfeeding team came round and showed me how to do the underarm hold which I found much easier. It kept Evie's nose completely clear so she could feed and my milk came in. However Evie still wasn’t eating much and my breasts became painfully engorged.

I had to have the breastfeeding team round to my home a few times because Evie barely ate for 3 days. The health visitor was worried she'd loose too much weight and kept suggesting formula but the breastfeeding team encouraged me to keep at it.


One morning I phoned the team in tears. I was completely engorged after an awful night of being unable to latch Evie at all. They offered to come round right away asking me to hold on for an hour. I felt so relieved knowing I was getting help. This feeling is relief made me calm enough that just after the reassuring phone call I swaddled my screaming newborn and managed to latch her on! 

It still took some practise to get 'perfect' and after 2 years my toddler is a pro in all manner of positions!

My Opinion Of People Who Don’t Try Breastfeeding

People who don’t try breastfeeding fall into two groups.

The first group are truly ignorant to the fact that breastfeeding is so much better then formula as well as cheaper and easier then bottles. These people I feel sorry for; that advertising and lack of understanding has robbed their child of breastmilk.

The second group are the ones who know about breastfeeding benefits, have researched it or learned about it at parent classes or even know breastfeeders; yet for whatever reason (parental pressure, society, embarrassment, disgust, perceived inconvenience) don’t even try to line their babies tummy with that liquid gold. To them I try to be understanding but ultimately I think they’re selfish.




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How to Spot a Defensive Formula Feeder

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In recent years there has been a welcome cultural shift in the way our society (the scientific and medical communities at least) views breastfeeding. Research has re-established breastfeeding as the normative ideal for infant feeding, partly-facilitated by a boom in breastfeeding activism.

However this growing culture has produced a particular breed of formula feeder – the ‘Defensive Formula Feeder’ (or ‘DFF’ for short). In this article I am going to outline the central characteristics of defensive formula feeders and how you can distinguish them from all other formula feeders.

Victim Mentality

DFFs are plagued with a victim mentality. They claim (and may even believe) that they had no control over the way that events unfolded leading to their breastfeeding failure. They use words like, “I had to use formula” and “I had no choice”. They spend their time looking outside of themselves to explain what happened or didn’t happen.

DFFs see any discussion of breastfeeding as an opportunity to recite their ever-lengthening list of reasons why they ‘couldn’t breastfeed’. How many times have you witnessed a perfectly civil breastfeeding conversation sabotaged by a formula feeder with the immortal words, “but not everyone can breastfeed”.

The internet is a dangerous place for DFFs. They have always to be prepared for the worst, as it is full of people who are out to hurt them. In their view, it is a harsh environment of victims, victimizers, and occasional rescuers.

The internet is also a place for DFFs to infect and assimilate. Like attracts like, so it only makes sense that defensive formula feeders attract people like them. When you’re in a social situation and everyone is complaining about why they ‘had’ to give up breastfeeding, it’s easy for even the most positive formula feeder to fall into the trap of victimhood.

Opaque Aggression

DFFs are passive-aggressive in their interactions with breastfeeders. The passive-aggressive style is often a very subtle and non-direct way of expressing anger without openly acknowledging it. DFFs seem superficially receptive to other’s suggestions, but are experts in passive resistance. For example, they may claim to have tried pumping their breast milk, but the reality is that they only tried for a day before giving up. During discussions, they can exaggerate how long they ‘tried’ for.

In the online environment, within minutes their behaviour will escalate. They will ascribe non-existent negative intentions to neutral statements, sulk, pout, withdraw, bungle, make excuses, and lie. Their talent at sending mixed messages catches others off-guard. One minute they’re having a civil conversation, then they’re offended, then they claim to enjoy the debate, then they are angry. Their behaviour appears very schizophrenic as they battle with their inner demons on the public stage of the internet forum or Facebook page. A common theatrical performance of a DFF is to post on a breastfeeding forum:

“I’m leaving this terrible place; you are all stuck up and shallow”

...rather than simply leaving. With these people, you can never truly know how your words will be received, which creates an egg-shells atmosphere, choking any dialogue.

This behaviour has a self-defeating, almost masochistic quality. It is as if DFFs welcome the process of getting hurt and are attracted to media which triggers them. They actively seek out breastfeeding forums, blogs and advocates. If they mistakenly stumble upon such a group, they do not leave. Instead they enjoy the masochistic buzz of being offended and arguing.

To compound the negativity of this outlook, DFFs know how to inflame others. They have a knack for dragging others into the emotional maelstrom they create, keeping them off-balance with their talent for shape-shifting. One moment they present themselves dramatically as victims; the next they are morphing into victimizers, hurting people with personal attacks and often reverting to Godwin's Law. As the internet is perceived as a dangerous place (particularly breastfeeding forums), DFFs strike out in a surreptitious way in order to defend themselves against the inevitable aggression of others.

They are also masters of manipulation, which can make interactions with them infuriating. It is almost as if they want people to exacerbate their guilt, only to prove subsequently, that they are being persecuted. Their talent for high drama draws people to them like moths to a flame.  They gain short-term pleasure from feeling sorry for themselves or eliciting pity from others. Their permanent hurt feelings bring out altruistic motives in others. Which leads us to...

The White Knight 
(more of a hindrance than a help) 

Where there’s a DFF, a White Knight is not far away. I’m sure you’ve witnessed this co-dependent romance yourself. A formula feeder cries offence and upset, and along comes a knight (usually claiming to be a breastfeeder, but you can bet your bottom dollar they’ve formula fed at some point) to defend their honour.

Another person’s suffering evokes strong natural responses of wanting to ease their suffering, to reassure, to defend. By defending, the White Knight satisfies their own desire for attention, drama and self-importance.

When online, DFFs are likely to exaggerate or dramatize their breastfeeding misfortunes, to make the need for rescue even more compelling. Unfortunately, satisfying this need does not bring a ‘cure’. Others’ sympathy is precisely the reason for remaining stuck in this defensive victim mentality. This is why so-called supportive environments don’t always work. When we’re told it’s okay to fail, and even have our emotional wounds licked by others, our failure is rewarded. Attention, sympathy and reassurance are prizes dealt to those who wallow in victimhood.  Furthermore, the importance of the goal (successful breastfeeding) is diminished: “don’t feel bad, as long as your baby is fed somehow, that’s all that matters”. This sends the message to anyone reading that breastfeeding difficulties are not worth persevering through.

“Stop Making Me Feel Guilty” – The Sense of Entitlement 


Part and parcel of being a DFF is a sense of entitlement. The formula feeder expects that all discussions on breastfeeding be out of bounds least they ‘hurt someone’s feelings’ (read: their feelings) or make someone ‘feel guilty’. This is particularly so when discussing the benefits of breastfeeding. These people also expect science to cease ‘wasting money’ on researching the fortitudes of breastfeeding. Instead the formula feeder will claim, “there’s much more important things to research, like war and poverty”. They believe that politicians, medical science, the media, and other mothers need to cease talking about breastfeeding’s natural superiority because it makes formula feeders feel bad. However in reality, nobody – no matter how hard they try – can ever make someone else feel something that they don't want to feel. You are the only one able to choose your feelings. Debate and progression should not cease because some people are offended by it.

Denouncing Breastfeeding Studies

Another strategy adopted by DFFs (normally those with more militant leanings) is to denounce breastfeeding studies. No matter how large scale the research or how reputable the research team, they will fabricate fault with it.

So for example, they will argue that the benefits of breastfeeding are exaggerated or non-existent, and therefore by formula feeding they have not put their child at any disadvantage. It is a form of denial, a face-saving technique. As social psychology puts it, “if the injury from the act is not as significant as first believed, the damage to the image of the accused should be limited as well” (Benoit. W). Click here to see a good example of denouncing in action.

Denouncing breastfeeding studies helps to justify the DFF’s use of formula, masking it as an ‘equal alternative’. Unlike excuse-making (covered here) in which the DFF admits that formula is sub-standard, but does not accept full responsibility for giving it; denouncers accept responsibility for giving formula but reject the claim that formula is sub-standard. A typical line might be, “I can’t see the difference between formula and breast milk, and I chose formula”. Some of these mothers are in denial, some do it to troll breastfeeding mothers, and some genuinely believe the two milks to be equivalent. This latter group suffer from the least guilt. They brush aside or reject factual statements, often contemptuously. "My child is 100% healthy so formula can't carry health risks".

Whatever strategy the DFF chooses to apply, each technique has one thing in common - insulting the intelligence of the listener. Playing the victim, excuse-making, manipulation, and denouncing, are all attempts to reshape another’s beliefs. It’s up to you whether you are taken in by it.

Next time you encounter a DFF, have a mental image of this bingo board, and see how many phrases you can spot. The board is particularly fun to use on internet forums, which are often populated by DFFs. Just use Microsoft Paint to circle the phrases as they come up in discussion. Popcorn optional.

Triumphant Tuesday: Breastfeeding With Tongue Tie – Take 2

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4.2% of babies are tongue-tied. Those with the condition are 3 times as likely to be exclusively bottle fed at 1 week (Journal of the American Board of Family Medicine 2005). Is this any surprise when prevailing medical opinion is that tongue-tie 'will usually right itself' by the end of the baby's first year. If the baby still has a problem after that, a paediatric surgeon might consider a frenulotomy - a procedure that divides the frenulum from the base of the mouth. Others will not perform surgery unless the child develops speech problems and has not responded to speech therapy. By that time, the child will require a general anaesthetic for the procedure. Where does this leave nursing mothers and their barbed-wire gummed babies? (click HERE to read the story of a mom that had to fight for her baby's tongue tie to be taken seriously).

However, fortunately, some doctors believe in a more pro-active attitude. These pro-baby miracle-workers are few and far between; mothers must take initiative and hunt them out, as this mom did:

“I was confident that everything about breastfeeding would be fine. I was convinced that formula was for emergency purposes, knew the statistics, and ate up the facts on how breast is best. I felt it was important to have the continuity of providing for my child and not just cutting our connection with formula. I fed her and held her inside for 9 months, so what is another 6, 9, 12, 24? Plus after reading the ingredients list on a formula can and seeing the costs monetary and possibly heath-wise, it became extremely important to succeed.

The Pain

About a week after the birth of my little sucker fish I was actually counting the days I had to go through to get to 6 months. It was so hard my nipples were turning white and blistering. Lanolin and other creams provided zero relief. My husband and mother in law suggested a pacifier since I was exhausted and in pain. Also, my daughter seemed ‘skinny’ to me. I grew up with a perception that infants were always chubby.

Tongue-Tie Confirmed

At Sophia’s weigh-in check, my deepest fears were confirmed - I found out that my baby had lost a lot of weight and had not gained her birth weight. She was also diagnosed with tongue tie and wasn't suckling properly. This was causing the pain and damage. It wasn’t until a week later that I managed to see the doctor who would perform the tongue-freeing procedure. So I suffered through the week, dreading each feeding and squeezing milk into my baby’s mouth using compressions (as I had read online via Jack Newman’s website) and pumping when I could nurse no more.


Due to the effort required for her to nurse Sophia’s legs would turn blue (that was super weird and scary); she started to develop very poor digestion and colic. We took her to the osteopath who works on babies and she was able to untwist her small intestines and tilt her stomach. On that visit Sophia burped out a ridiculous amount of air and shot poop all over that women. I was horrified! To which she smiled and said in French "cest bon sophia!" after that she would eat even longer, sleep longer and didn’t develop full on colic.


Saboteurs

My friends who saw my breasts said that they had this problem and stopped breastfeeding, and after formula their child is okay so not to worry. Another of my very assertive friends told me how to go about finding a proper formula for my daughter and that there was no shame in it (Her kid has eczema and would still not sleep well at 3, so this made me look ahead at what my baby ‘might’ get from it). My friend’s weren’t the only unhelpful voices. My aunts, whom all formula fed, told me that my child was too thin and breastfeeding for 6 months exclusively was cruel and starving her of nutrients. I walked down the aisle of the drug store and looked at every can of formula and felt lost in the words of ‘you can do it’ vs ‘formula is okay’.

The Snip

Finally it was time for the doctor’s appointment. We were slipped in after the working hours. In 30 seconds my baby had two snips to her frenulum and was latched back to my breast by the skilled hands of this miracle woman. The doctor watched my daughter feed then examined her tongue and swallowing once more, then waited as my skinny little baby fed for nearly 30 minutes both sides.


The days following were so hard. Even though she was latching properly and sucking efficiently, my breasts were painfully scabbed and damaged, and my confidence was shattered. I felt inadequate naturally. It took my daughter six weeks to gain her weight back and for my milk supply to really stabilize. Luckily my mother and midwife urged me to see a lactation consultant to verify that everything was going right.

That hour of nursing and practice with the LC helped my confidence grow back. Dr Newman’s all purpose nipple ointment sealed my cuts and put me on the road to recovery (it was almost 2 months before the pain was completely gone). Google and Kellymom helped me find my way past blocked ducts and the low supply caused by the early lack of proper nursing and pumping, along with inappropriate pacifier usage. I took away the pacifier and nursed on demand. I literally set up camp and made myself the President of Nursing Inc. I feel like all I did was nurse and eat. After a little while I had tons of milk!!


There are so many hurdles to breastfeeding that will break you if you let them. I am so glad formula never made its way into my home despite the challenges. I feel grateful that I was able to breastfeed my beautiful little girl for 18 months after this ordeal. She is healthy, intelligent and rarely ever sick. I feel like I gave her the best start I could. My challenges gave me compassion and the drive to be a proactive woman. As a shower gift to my pregnant friends, I give them a coupon for an hour with a lactation consultant. I want everyone to have the proper help to be successful at breastfeeding.

Most women struggle at breastfeeding, and women who succeed are often portrayed as lactivist, self righteous, and un-sympathetic. When a mom tells me why she is formula feeding, it is usually due to sabotage whether she realizes it or not.

I don’t understand why online formula feeding forums even exist. How hard can it really be to fill and hold a bottle. I feel like saying, "you want to hear problems? I’ll send you a pictures of my spazzy nips ladies" but I let it slide.”



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Triumphant Tuesday: From Bottle to Breast

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There’s no such thing as nipple confusion. Bottle feeding is best because you know exactly how much your baby is consuming. It’s wise to introduce a bottle as soon as possible to ensure your baby won’t reject them.  Premature babies, in particular, need bottles because they can’t suckle - These are some of the typical myths promulgated by our bottle-centric culture. This week’s triumphant mom fell casualty to these myths, yet clawed herself out of the bottle trap. This is her story:

“My pregnancy was normal until about 29 weeks. I had plans to have peaceful water birth at a local birthing center. Within 3 weeks, however, I developed high blood pressure which turned into severe pre-eclampsia and was hospitalized until I delivered. Being hospitalized for that long was quite scary and lonely. The days felt like they dragged on forever. When the protein in my urine reached a certain level, the doctor made the decision to operate.

Born 8 Weeks Early


I had my daughter, Lucy, at 32 weeks. She was 4lb6oz and 16.75 inches long. I always knew that I wanted to breastfeed my baby. At first, I had no idea what the implications of an early delivery would mean for being able to nurse. A lactation consultant came by a few hours before I delivered and asked me if I intended to pump for my baby. I did, and pumped for the first time in recovery, after my c-section. I recorded every mL that I got when I pumped - it took ten whole days for my milk to come in! I was pumping every two hours around the clock! It was exhausting.

Pumping with a Purpose

At first, pumping had some positive aspects. It made me feel like I was really *doing something* for Lucy, while she was in the hospital. It gave me a purpose. I rented a hospital grade pump, which I'm sure helped tremendously. I carried my pump parts back and forth to the hospital, and pumped while I was there. I got a hands free pumping bra brought to me when I was still in the hospital. That is the best invention ever!

Encouraged to Bottle Feed


For the first two weeks, Lucy had to take my milk through a tube in her nose. When the doctor said she was mature enough to start taking her feeds orally, I was encouraged to bottle feed. In the NICU, they like to know exactly how much is being ingested - and they even weigh the dirty diapers to measure output! Breastfeeding wasn't encouraged because they wouldn't know down to the mL how much she ate. They were hyper-focused on quantifying everything that entered her body and left it. I was able to have Lucy nuzzle and lick my nipple as she was getting fed through her nose, but I was never encouraged to try a feeding with breastfeeding.

Bottles were key to getting out of hospital faster. Lucy had to take all bottle feeds for 48 hours to go home. We wanted her home, so I resigned my breastfeeding aspirations for the time she was in there. My hope was that once we got out of the hospital we could learn to nurse. Nothing in my original birth plan had worked out, and I desperately wanted to breastfeed my baby.

'Human Milk Fortifier'

The hospital staff were using something to up the calorie content of my milk, called ‘human milk fortifier’. As Lucy moved closer to discharge though, they switched to a 22cal formula to replace the fortifier. I got pretty upset and called the head nurse to see what was going on. They told me I would need to fortify her milk to ensure proper weight gain once we left the hospital, and that the human milk fortifier wasn't available for purchase. (A lie, I found it on diapers.com). I stopped using the formula once we got home and she gained just fine.

The Burden of Pumping

It was when Lucy arrived home from hospital that pumping slowly morphed into a burden. I would pray that Lucy would stay asleep so I could pump! I heard the whooshing noise of the pump all the time, and it was driving me crazy! I was attempting to nurse every couple days or so, and it wasn't going well. I continued pumping for 3 more months before finally seeing a lactation consultant. I didn't feel like I could keep it going for much longer with my sanity intact. 

The Gradual Switch


At first, we took a gradual approach to switching from bottle to breast. I started using a shield and only nursing once a day - in the morning when I was the most full. I cried many tears because at times I thought we would never breastfeed successfully. My husband was not breastfed, and while he was 100% supportive, I could tell he didn't really understand why it was so important to me.

Sometimes the idea of exclusively breastfeeding was scary too - I had recorded every mL she ingested since she came home from the hospital, to make sure she was taking in enough ounces throughout the day. Not knowing exactly how much she was eating was a scary thought!

The Cold-Turkey Switch

One Friday, in early February, we had a ferocious snowstorm. I figured that we would be housebound for a few days, and that it was the perfect time to try to switch all together. We haven't looked back since that weekend. For the first few months afterward, we also went to a weekly breastfeeding support group run by the LC that we had seen, which also helped tremendously.

Lucy loves nursing, and I love nursing her! She is about to be 11 months and still nurses every couple hours during the day. I am so thankful that I didn't give up. I plan to nurse her until she decides she’s done!

People who don’t try breastfeeding are ignorant, or lazy, or both! I'm happy that there is formula so their poor babies don't starve, but it's sad that people choose against the most natural thing in the world.”


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Triumphant Tuesday: Breastfeeding Through Chronic Thrush

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The pain of thrush can rival that of labor. Burning sensations that radiate through the breast are accompanied by deep stabbing and shooting pains. What's more, the outward appearance of thrush varies widely, making diagnosis a problem. Some women have red or shiny nipples, fissures or flaking skin, others exhibit no visible signs at all. And diagnosis is only the start. Thrush is remarkably persistent and knowledge of the best treatments to cure breastfeeding-related thrush is sorely insufficient, as this week's triumphant mom found out.

I gave birth to my daughter Olivia at home. I really wanted to let her find the breast herself but I remember almost feeling like I needed permission from the midwives. When they finally told me it was time to try and nurse I chickened out of the natural 'breast crawl' approach. Instead, they had me sit up in bed and told me to use the cross hold.


Nipple Damage

Olivia latched incorrectly immediately and I started to cry. I kept her on my breast and the midwives told me a bit of pain is normal but it should stop right away. Well, it didn't. After a few more minutes I took her off and the damage was done.

Baby Weight Issues

The next day, I had a lactation consultant come to ‘help’ me.  She weighed Olivia and freaked out, telling me that she'd lost 13% of her weight and she should have only lost 7-10%. She then told me told me the insane amount of breastmilk I needed to feed Olivia: 50 ml at each feed, and in 2 days from then 75ml at each feed. I was totally shocked by this amount. It didn't make sense. She told me if Olivia wasn't gaining weight in the next few days I would need to supplement with formula. I told her that wasn't an option, thanked her for helping me with my latch and asked her to leave. My husband was downstairs when this happened. When he came upstairs I was bawling. He didn't believe those numbers either, so of course on the computer we went, only to see how wrong she was!


My midwife popped in that afternoon and was mad that this woman even weighed the baby. She reinforced the reason why they wait a full week before they re-weigh and that Olivia had great color (zero jaundice from birth) very alert for a newborn, no soft spot on the head and a wet mouth so she was in fact eating. I sent my fiance to get me a pump so I could try to pump and heal my nipple.

Rash

When Olivia was 2 weeks old she developed a rash on her bum which turned out to be thrush. It had infected my breast was extremely painful. There was shooting pains from my breasts right up to my shoulder, even when I wasn't feeding. During the feeds my nipples felt like they were being cut with glass. We tried monistat, an antifungal treatment, on her bum which didn't work. I did a week of gentian violet along with it which also didn't work.

Friends' Sabotage

I hadn't left the house in 2 weeks because my daughter’s mouth was stained violet and I kept her naked up to 5 hours a day to air out. I felt like the worst mother in the world; like I'd failed from the beginning. Friends told me to just give formula. I wasn't talking to them for a way out of breastfeeding, I was just trying to vent my frustration. Sharing these experiences with other moms is supposed to be helpful. I wasn't trying to make anyone feel bad about their choice but I just don't agree with formula for my family.

Finally, a Cure


I finally found a doctor in Toronto - Jack Newman and followed his flucozanole treatment. It ended up taking me being on this drug for 37 days, continuing on a strict yeast free diet, probiotics, gentian violet and lots of air time before it went away. When Olivia turned 4 months old it was finally gone.

Fighting this for 3.5 months was exhausting and truly tested my confidence as a new mother and my commitment to breastfeed. To this day I cannot feed in that damn cross hold. I can only nurse lying down.

I believe that unless you're a drug user or have a lifestyle that could harm your baby every woman should breastfeed. I don't understand moms that stop because it was too much work to nurse every 2 hours. The thought of having to get out of bed and make a bottle instead of putting my baby to my boob seems like more work.




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The Truth About Baby Food Jars

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American babies consume an average of 600 jars of baby food by the time they are a year old (Chasing Green 2011). Four out of five British babies rely on tinned and jarred products (Rees 2007). Yet, the U.S. Government lists the vast majority of commercial baby food as “not creditable infant foods” on its WIC program (2011), and the U.K. Government maintains that, “Home cooking should always be encouraged over using commercial baby foods” (Infant and Child Feeding Guidelines 2010).

In a triumph of marketing over corporate responsibility, baby food companies, including the so-called ‘organic’ brands, sabotage the health of babies in their quest for profits - and parents facilitate it. Here’s how:

THE COST:


The global baby food market is worth more than £6 billion. Baby food manufacturers have found a goldmine in gullible parents. When parents buy commercial baby food they are paying, not only for all the ingredients, but also for the processing, packaging, storage, transportation, advertising and marketing. Consequently, commercial baby foods are very highly priced compared to similar regular foods.

Let’s take bananas for example. A pouch of “Ella’s Kitchen Bananas” costs 69p (about $1.09). An organic fair-trade banana costs 23p (about 35 cents). You'd need to buy six and a half commercial pouches to equal one pound of bananas (source: tesco.com). This is an example of commercial baby food featuring one ingredient: bananas. The cost escalates further when other ingredients are included. Commercial baby foods featuring several ingredients can cost as much as £1 per jar, particularly if you’re going organic, meaning you can spend around £5 a day, if you’re using them for breakfast and pudding too. That’s £35 a week, £140 a month and £840 from six months until your baby’s first birthday. Annabel Karmel and her shareholders are laughing their way to the bank. Her Organic Baby Purees cost a staggering £1.49 ($2.34) per pouch! (To add further insult to parents, the largest ingredient is water – yup, bog standard tap water).


At first blush, £1 for a jar or pouch of baby food doesn't seem like much, but as your baby grows, he or she will eat more solid food at each feeding. The baby food jars get bigger and up to three times more expensive. Remember the statistic I quoted above? - By the time U.S. infants reach 12 months of age, they've consumed about 600 jars of baby food. That's a minimum cost of $300. By comparison, you can prepare a wide variety of fresh baby food at home for around $55 total (Tallman and Ahlers 2013). The numbers speak for themselves.


THE BULKING:


Numbers (aka profits) are the most important consideration in the eyes of baby food manufacturers. Consequently, the pictures of fresh produce adorning jars don't tell you the whole story of what's inside. To cut costs manufacturers replace real food with water and thickening agents/starches. Most often, the starches are refined rice, refined corn and refined wheat. These substances are devoid of the outer layers of the grain, with preservatives and bleach commonly added during processing. The refining of any grain reduces its vitamins, proteins and roughage (Spock 2004). What's more, refined starches play a significant role in causing dental caries, as they form a sticky paste around the teeth.

Bulking food in this way dilutes its nutrient density (bad for baby) whilst adding volume (good for manufacturers). This means the company can sell what is basically water along with a small amount of poor quality supermarket-rejected vegetables. For instance, check out this jar of Cow & Gate ‘Pureed Carrot, Potato and Lamb Hotpot’ (found stocked on a major UK supermarket shelf, January 2013). The largest ingredient is water. Then there are some ‘baby-grade’ vegetables (more on these below) and also ‘millet flour’ and ‘wheat starch’. The use of these starchy thickening agents adds no nutritional value whilst masking the fact that the majority of the product you’re paying for is water. As any cook knows, a little bit of flour or starch can thicken a lot of liquid.


Here’s a jar of Cow & Gate “Sweet Potato and Beef”. Again, the largest ingredient is water, along with the thickening agents cornflour and Tapioca Starch, and another EIGHT ingredients that weren’t mentioned on the front!


It’s not just Cow & Gate that use bulking techniques. This jar of Heinz “Cheesy Tomato Pasta Stars” has water as the largest ingredient, along with the thickening agent cornflour.


Heinz apply the same water and cornflour combo in their “Spaghetti Bolognaise”:


And again in their “Banana yogurt” - water is the largest ingredient, and cornflour and rice starch are used as thickening agents. Interestingly, banana accounts for only 20% of the product, and there is a lot of added sugar (again, not mentioned on the front).


Heinz “Cheesy Pasta with Ham” is the same story. Water is the largest ingredient and cornflour is used as a thickener. Noticeably it contains only 5% ham (some of which is starch and salt!) This product is nothing more than a cocktail of empty calories in the form of starches and processed fat devoid of essential fatty acids.


These are just some examples. The list goes on.

When we do the math, we can see why manufacturers do this: The maximum amount of starch required to thicken a 4-ounce jar of food is 0.3 ounces, which costs about 1 cent per jar. By contrast, to replace the water and starch in a 4-ounce jar with carrots, for instance, would require an additional two ounces of carrots, at a cost of 7 to 10 cents. In this instance, doing what’s best for babies would mean sacrificing profits.

Aside from diluting the nutrition content and reducing value for money, another problem with bulking is that several of the most common fillers are potential allergens. Most of baby food jars for example, contain significant amounts of gluten. The fact that many of these jars have “suitable from 4 months” on the label is even more worrisome. Corn and Wheat can both potentially cause allergic reactions in babies and small children, and some recent scientific studies suggest that long term allergies, such as the allergy to wheat (Celiac disease), may be reduced by avoiding contact with those foods before babies are one year old (Erin 2009). So by feeding their babies commercially prepared baby foods loaded with fillers, parents may be inadvertently exposing their infants to large quantities of potential allergens.

Furthermore, with all this bulking going on, there isn’t much room left for credible ingredients. The bulking agents (carbohydrates) are replacing proteins and fats which are essential for adequate health and growth. A baby's growing muscles, bones, brain, and all other structures are built from the protein and fat he consumes.

For example, if we look back at the jar of Heinz “Cheesy Pasta with Ham”, we notice that it contains only 5 percent ham. Parents purchasing such ‘complete meals’ will be forgiven for assuming them to be a good source of protein, after all, a protein is listed prominently on the jar’s main title (‘ham’). However these dinners are a very poor source of protein given the small percentage of meat/meat alternate required to be in them.

On the topic of requirements, manufacturers tread right on the edge of the law in order to maximise profits. For instance, EU legislation states that if a protein is named first in the title of the product - as, for example, in "chicken and vegetable dinner" - the protein must make up at least 10 percent of the product. So if we look at Cow & Gate’s “Chicken Sunday Lunch” pictured below, we see that just 10 percent is chicken, the bare minimum required by law. Also notice the massive chicken adorning the lid of the jar – misleading.



Even more misleading is their “Beef Casserole”. “Beef” is named first, yet the beef content is only 8 percent! This is below the legal limit. The lid of the jar is decorated with a massive beef joint.



Heinz “Fruity Chicken Casserole” was blasted by consumer watchdogs back in 2006 because it contains only 8% chicken despite arguably having chicken named first (see the news article here). Yet seven years later the jars remain unchanged and Heinz continue to stock them in stores.


Heinz “Chicken and Parsnip Bake” features “Chicken” named first on the title, yet the chicken content is only 8 percent!


Legislation also states that if a protein is the only ingredient in the product's name, then legally at least 40 per cent of the food should be that protein. Here’s where the manufacturers get even sneakier. Cow & Gate’s “Orchard Chicken” contains only 10 percent chicken. Presumably they would argue that “Orchard” is another ingredient - apple maybe? But the apple content is even less at only 8 percent!


Cow & Gate’s “Yummy Harvest Chicken” contains, yup you guessed it, just 10 percent chicken. Presumably “yummy harvest” is another ingredient but this is far from clear.


THE NUTRIENTS (lack of):

As bulking dilutes the nutrient density of foods, the contents of this next topic should come as no surprise.

Recent research has confirmed the fears of lazy parents - that commercial baby food contains hardly any nutrients. Many of the most popular brands contain less than a fifth of a baby’s recommended daily supply of calcium, magnesium, zinc, iron and other crucial minerals (University of Greenwich 2012). If a baby consumed one meat jar, one vegetable jar and 600ml of formula milk it still would not be enough calcium, magnesium, copper and selenium. The levels of these three together are less than 20% of the recommended daily supply. Thus, babies fed solely on store-bought jars and formula milk are being deprived of nutrients crucial for growth, development and to protect against illness.


In fact, using processed baby food is akin to feeding your baby junk food for every meal. You wouldn’t feed your baby a Big Mac would you? Well that’s exactly what parents are doing when feeding their baby some of the most popular brands on the market. Research has proven that some of the main brands, including Heinz and Cow & Gate, are less nutritious than a cheeseburger! (The Guardian 2009). What’s more, eating this sub-standard nutrition is more damaging to babies than to adults. That's because babies don't need many calories, but they do need lots of nutrients. It's easy for them to fill up quickly on junk food's empty calories.

And it gets worse. Ever wondered how a jar of baby food can be older than the baby itself – and still remain nutritious? Answer: it can’t. The priority of baby food manufacturers is not your baby’s health, rather their main concern is profits. This is basic company law. “The purpose of a company is to generate profits for its shareholders” (Companies Act 2006). The longer a product can remain on the store shelves, the more chance it has of being purchased, and the lower the costs for the manufacturer and the retailer (less restocking, more bulk batches, cheaper wholesale purchase of ingredients). Consequently manufacturers have made it so their baby food products have a very long shelf-life (up to several years in some cases!)

So how do baby food manufacturers achieve this malicious lifespan when a tub of homemade food can only stay edible for a few weeks when frozen? The answer is in the preparation. In order to remain edible for so long the product must be heated to a very high temperature for a sustained length of time so that chronic bacteria are killed. However whilst this process destroys most of the contaminating micro-organisms, the few that are left multiply faster because the resistance of the food to bacteria and moulds is lowered by the heating process. The heating process also destroys naturally occurring commensal or ‘friendly’ micro-organisms. The reduced populations cannot build up quickly enough afterwards to counter the spread of the ‘baddies’.

Moreover during this process most of the beneficial nutrients are also killed. So even if the jar states “organic”, the nutrative value is not even close to non-organic food that you would prepare yourself at home. This is why so many commercial baby foods are ‘fortified’. The food has been cooked to death – literally! So the manufacturer has to add synthetic vitamins and minerals to get the food value back up. This provides an illusion of meeting benchmark standards.

But vitamins are vitamins right? It doesn’t matter whether they’re inherent in the food itself or added afterwards. Wrong! The problem with synthetic vitamins is that they are not as bioavailable as naturally occurring vitamins. In other words, they are less easily absorbed by your baby's body. Also, many of the nutrients and vitamins counteract each other, therefore not doing any good (International Baby Food Action Network 2012).

THE QUALITY (lack of):

Increasing shelf life by bulking foods is just one of the tactics used by manufacturers to maximise profits. They are also prepared to sacrifice the quality of even their non-bulking ingredients. For instance, if you look at a lot of commercial baby food, the label will say 'baby grade' veg/fruit etc. This means that although it is 'real' fruit/veg (and may well be organic if stated on the jar), it’s pretty much the poorer quality damaged and malformed ‘scraps’ that don't make it onto the supermarket shelves. These scraps are then boiled to death and pureed to disguise their inherent imperfection.

As an illustration, take a look at the photo below. On the left are home-made green beans. On the right are jarred baby food green beans. Both only have 2 ingredients – green beans and water.



You see, commercial baby foods are designed to be homogenised in taste and texture. One particular brand of green bean puree will always taste the same. However, if you make your own green bean puree, the variety of the bean, the amount of water added and the extent to which it is mashed will vary each time. This variation gives babies an important lesson in the tastes of food; small variations are acceptable.

Variation is imperative when we consider that research shows there is a window of opportunity for introducing tastes and textures to young infants, before the age of 12 months. During that precious first year, “it takes an average of 6 to 10 exposures for 85% of babies to imprint on a flavour and texture” (Green 2010). After 12 months, infants become much more difficult to feed, and often become wary of new foods. So it is important they are given foods that vary in taste and texture, and ultimately represent the foods that the family eat (Coulthard 2011). Studies have also shown that if babies consume commercial baby food before 24 months, they are likely to acquire a lower IQ (Smithers et al 2012). This is because diet supplies the nutrients needed for the development of brain tissues most actively in the first two years of life.

As the quality is so poor, the taste of commercial baby foods falls way below the standard that adults would accept (try some yourself). I often question the integrity of adults who reject substandard food for themselves yet happily feed it to their infants.

In an attempt to hide the poor quality of their product and salvage some of the taste, the manufacturer adds extra ingredients. Ironically, this practice reduces the quality further. At best, these extra ingredients are nutritionally empty, and at worst, they are nutritionally dangerous, particularly when consumed by infants. For instance, many commercial baby foods (including organic brands), are high in sodium, sugar, or both (Bennett  et al 2012; Chait 2010; Children’s Food Campaign 2009). Every calorie taken up by these ingredients is a lost opportunity for baby to eat a nutrient rich food that will facilitate proper growth and development. What’s more, the implications can last a lifetime. Take, for example, extra salt; Children can develop a liking for excessively salty foods in infancy, leading them to perceive unsalted foods as being flavourless (The Food Commission 2000).


Ironically, when comparing commercial baby foods to similar adult versions, they don’t prove healthier, and are sometimes even worse. In one study, baby yogurts, for example, contained about 63 mg of sodium, while the adult sample only contained 50 mg (Giovinazzo 2010). Another study revealed the same conclusion (Journal of Public Health 2010). Again, this is a case of adults giving babies the nutritional debris that they themselves would reject.

Moreover, a lot of these extra ingredients aren’t even declared on the label. Studies have found a significant amount of commercial baby food contains undeclared additives; for instance, sweeteners (Cizkova 2009).

Another undesirable ingredient commonly found in commercial baby food yet not declared on the label, is trans fat. Manufacturers use trans fat instead of oil because it improves flavour and texture, reduces cost, and extends the storage life of products. Each of these are tickets to greater profit. Unfortunately trans fat is known to increase LDL, also known as "bad" cholesterol, while lowering levels of HDL, or "good" cholesterol. Trans fats are a particularly unhealthy type of fat for anyone to consume, adults, children and babies alike, as it can cause clogging of arteries, type 2 diabetes and other serious health problems, and can increase the risk of heart disease.

By law, trans fats do not have to be included in the nutritional information provided on a food label unless a specific trans fats claim has been made (for example, 'low in trans fats'), and they do not have to be listed in the ingredients. Cow & Gate, have exploited this loophole to their advantage. They have used trans fats in their baby food products and then justified it by saying:

“Trans fats are no worse than saturated fats and that it is the whole diet that matters.  Tiny amounts of trans fats do not cause a health risk.”

These assertions are grossly inaccurate. Cow & Gate also repeated several times that they are “very tightly regulated” (not true) and added that:

“if there was any concrete evidence that the trans fats were dangerous, they would not be allowed” (Cow & Gate 2009).

This is a particularly disingenuous assertion. As you will discover below when we come to examine legal regulation, the food industry is not dictated to by Government, rather, it is merely courted. The Government’s Food Standards Agency tries to steer the food industry in the right direction, making recommendations and offering incentives. However it does not impose rigid commands for fear of interfering with economy. Manufacturers are able to exploit loopholes, mislead consumers, and even blatantly lie, sometimes with tragic consequences, all because piecemeal legal regulation has no teeth.

This deception is equally applicable to organic brands. Many parents make the common assumption that organic is synonyms with quality. However studies have found that despite being on average 30 percent more expensive, “there is little overall difference in quality” (Stiftung Warentest 2010), and organic food is no more nutritious than conventional food (Stanford University 2012).

THE CONTAMINANTS:

Aside from the poor quality and uniform taste, when parents use commercial baby food, they’re also giving their baby a varied diet – of contaminants. Recently, scientists at the Environmental Working Group (EWG) tested 190 samples of commercial baby food. The samples tested positive for five pesticides, among them, the organophosphate methamidiphos, which was found on 9.4 percent of samples and the organophosphate acephate, on 7.8 percent of samples. Based on the scientists’ calculations, a 22-pound child eating just one four-ounce serving of green beans sold as baby food with the maximum methamidiphos level found would consume a massive 50 percent of the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency’s acute risk value, a measure of allowable risk. Lighter babies, those fed more than four ounces per meal or those fed commercial baby food daily would be at still greater risk (EWC 2012).

The EWG also analyzed baby food samples back in 1995 and found the two organophosphates in surprisingly similar concentrations. So nothing has changed. The illusion that baby food manufacturers are continuously improving their products to make them safer for babies, is mere wishful thinking unincentivised by legislation.

In the 2012 study, pears prepared as commercial baby food showed significant and widespread contamination. 92 percent of the pear samples tested positive for at least one pesticide residue. Some 26 percent of the samples were tainted with 5 or more pesticides. Disturbingly, the pesticide iprodione, which EPA has categorized as a probable human carcinogen (cancer causing agent), was detected on three baby food pear samples. Iprodione is not registered with EPA for use on pears. Its presence on this popular baby food constitutes a violation of FDA regulations and the federal Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act.

Other research has shown that feeding babies twice a day on commercial baby foods such as rice porridge can increase their exposure to arsenic by up to 50 times! (Gray 2011; The Local 2013). In the same studies, exposure to other toxic metals such as cadmium, which is known to cause neurological and kidney damage, increased by up to 150 times! While lead increased by up to eight times.

A quick nod to so-called ‘baby ready meals’ now. These are frozen or chilled processed meals that you re-heat yourself. One of the many problems with these is that they consistently contain heat-induced contaminant ‘furan’, a toxic compound linked to cancer (Bakhiya and Appel 2010; Lachenmeier 2009).

On the topic of cancer, many commercial baby foods, particularly jarred varieties, contain benzene, a colorless, flammable liquid with a sweet odor. It is also a natural part of crude oil, gasoline, and cigarette smoke. Benzene is known to cause cancer, based on evidence from studies in both people and laboratory animals. The link between benzene and cancer has largely focused on leukemia and cancers of other blood cells (American Cancer Society 2013). In one study, the highest levels were found in jarred baby foods containing carrots and carrot juices specifically intended for infants. In contrast, freshly home-prepared carrot juices and baby foods were all benzene-free (Lachenmeier et al 2010).

The cancer link doesn't end there. All types of processed baby food, whether jarred, frozen or pouched, have a significant likelihood of being contaminated with fumonisin - a toxin linked to esophageal cancer (Sedova and Tutel 2006), Cadmium - an extremely toxic metal (Eklund and Oskarsson 1999), Acrylamide – a toxic chemical compound (Mojska et al 2012), and noxious animal DNA which has been linked to diabetes and various types of cancer (Surh et al 2007).

Exposure to such toxins in infancy can cause problems that will wreak havoc for the rest of a child’s life. This is because babies’ bodies are different. They are growing and vulnerable. It’s important to know what’s in the foods you’re feeding your baby at this age. But you won’t find out this information from the baby food manufacturers. When a leading UK newspaper recently contacted each of the major baby food manufacturers, most refused to reveal the levels of toxic contaminants found in their products! (The Telegraph 2011).

THE REGULATION (lack of):


One of the reasons that contaminants are still rife in commercial baby foods is due to weak legislation. Leading baby food manufacturers such as Heinz, Gerber, and Cow and Gate do not face as tough regulations as the makers of adult foods (University of Greenwich 2012). The current maximum limits enshrined in law are not low enough to act as an incentive for baby food manufacturers to cut levels of the contaminants in their products (Pesticide and Chemical Policy 2013). Even when baby food manufacturers stick within the legal guidelines for permitted levels of toxic contaminants, there’s a major problem - the guidelines are based on adult, rather than infant, exposure. Adult tolerance levels are much higher than infants’. Babies are particularly vulnerable to toxic substances because their immune systems are immature and their bodies are going through rapid development. A five year study by the National Academy of Sciences has concluded that Government standards for pesticides in food do not specifically account for the special vulnerability of infants or account for the fact that infants and children eat and drink more relative to their size than adults.

Unsurprisingly, more and more research is calling for a radical review of the safety limits. So much so, that the World Health Organisation decided to scrap its daily safe intake limit for arsenic amid growing evidence that arsenic can cause cancer - even at low levels (World Health Organisation 2010). The limits for lead have also been suspended for the same reason.

Sadly, the failure of legislation to protect babies stretches through many other areas of baby food regulation. Take labelling for example. What's in the container is not always the same as what's printed on the label. Some ingredients are not mentioned, for example, sweeteners and trans fat. At present, regulations require just 15% of the reference values for each nutrient to be provided for labeling purposes.

The situation becomes even more acute when potential allergens are present in the food. A lot of baby food manufacturing plants also process allergens such as nuts, dairy and soya. To address this, there is a legal threshold of how much of an allergen has to be in a food product in order for it to be required to be labelled. Sounds good right? However this threshold is based on general adult tolerance levels which are irrelevant to babies.

THE WASTE:


Commercial baby food is commonly packed in glass jars. However new demands for convenience have given away to trends involving plastic, sealed containers and pouches. Valuable natural resources are needed to manufacturer these items. Eventually all this packaging ends up dumped in landfill.

There is also the pertinent issue of food waste. Initially babies will take only one or two spoonfuls per meal, yet the jars are far, far bigger. As they can’t be re-sealed, the remaining contents must be disposed of. Alternatively, parents eager to get their money’s worth over-feed their babies, stretching their stomachs and contributing to future weight problems.

THE PACKAGING:

Aside from the waste element, the packaging of commercial baby food has been found to be dangerous in itself. For instance, several studies have found the lids of baby food jars contain the hormone disrupter Bisphenol-A (BPA) which has been linked to infertility and cancer, even at extremely low levels of exposure (Health Canada 2009). BPA leaches from the baby food containers into their contents.

When this was announced in the press, a few manufacturers changed their packaging, opting to use a substitute (bisphenol S). Many ceased this as a marketing opportunity, boasting “BPA-free” on their packaging. However unbeknown to consumers, bisphenol S also disrupts hormone activity. In fact, it is a stronger risk to babies than BPA (Medical Express 2013).

Commercial baby food packaging is also responsible for exposing babies to a carcinogenic toxin called semicarbazide (SEM). The toxin, which has been linked to cancer in animals, gets into the baby food through the plastic gaskets used to seal glass jars with metal twist-off lids (Roberts 2009).

Pouches are also not without their risks. The caps pose a serious choking hazard to babies and toddlers (the product's target age range).

THE MARKETING:

All the defects inherent in commercial baby food discussed mean that persuading parents to purchase these products is not easy. However the baby food companies have literally millions of dollars to pay marketing executives to execute sophisticated deception techniques.

A key strategy in baby food marketing is to utilise the latest buzz words. When the new food guide pyramid touted the importance of whole grains for example, suddenly words and logos for "whole grains" were plastered on the fronts of baby cereal boxes, crackers, breads and even cookies! Now with the media's attention on the potentially harmful nature of genetically modified ingredients, many baby food manufacturers are re-marketing themselves as ‘organic’. No matter what the fad is—low-sugar, fat-free, organic, or heart-healthy—manufacturers will try to lure parents into buying their product.

Here's a list of the most popular baby food marketing claims used by manufacturers—and what they really mean for your baby’s health.

“Natural”


Ironically, products that call themselves natural can contain pesticides, genetically modified ingredients, high-fructose corn syrup (HFCS), or ingredients you’ve never heard of. The Food and Drug Administration says that it has not developed a formal definition for the term, noting that, "From a food science perspective, it is difficult to define a food product that is 'natural' because the food has probably been processed and is no longer the product of the earth." The agency goes on to explain that added color, artificial flavors or synthetic substances would disqualify food from being called "natural." But beyond that, seemingly anything goes. A company can use the word to mean just about anything. Parents often assume it implies ‘organic’, but that's not the case. Whilst ‘natural’ brings to mind thoughts of fresh, minimally processed and healthy food, it indicates nothing about a food's nutritional content, ingredients, safety, or health effects (Jolliffe 2011). According to the USDA, food is natural if it doesn't contain artificial ingredients or added color and is 'minimally processed.' It doesn't say anything about how the food was raised.  Almost all packaged foods today are processed in some way.

Also consider that ‘natural’ is not always synonymous with ‘healthy’. Natural fruit puree may be sweetened with cane juice (instead of white sugar), but it can still contribute to health issues when eaten regularly. Quaker Oats boast that their children’s range of cereals are 100% natural however they contain 13.7g of sugar per 100g!


“Made with Real Vegetables”

You see “made with real vegetables” frequently on baby food marketing, particularly those products advertised as ‘organic’. Since there is no law that requires how much real vegetable has to be included in a food that uses this claim, the jar could contain just a few peas or one brussel sprout to be accurate. Also ‘baby grade vegetables’ (i.e. scraps) are still ‘real vegetables’, albeit not ones that adults are prepared to consume.

“Healthy” 

While food claimed as 'healthy' must meet specific guidelines for fat, cholesterol, sodium, and certain nutrients, it can still contain large amounts of sugar, preservatives, and artificial ingredients.

“Lightly Sweetened”

This term is not regulated by the FDA, so the product could contain any amount of sugar or artificial sweeteners.

“Green”

Green is not regulated and has no real meaning as it relates to food and often seems to be used in an effort to convey some sense of sustainability or environmental responsibility, whether that's real or not.

“Made with whole wheat”

If the label does not say 100 percent whole wheat or 100 percent whole grain, then be wary: the product is likely to contain only a trivial amount of whole grain.

“Multigrain”

According to the USDA, the only label that means a product is made with 100% whole grains is one that states “100% Whole Grain”. Products with labels declaring “multigrain” simply means that there are multiple types of grains, but that is not a guarantee that any of the grains included are whole grains. For example, Heinz Baby ‘Banana Multigrain Cereal’ contains hydrolysed wheat and no whole grains.

“A source of”

This is a purposely vague, loose term that insinuates that the food contains the latest sought-after vitamin or mineral. The recent trend is a lack of Vitamin D, because of concerns that a deficiency in Vitamin D may play a role in autism. If a food says it is an "excellent source of Vitamin D," it may only mean: As a part of a normal diet, in which you get vitamins and minerals, this food will provide a minute amount of Vitamin D. For instance, Heinz “Creamed Porridge” declares prominently on the front of the label that it is a ‘source of iron’, however one serving only contains 1mg of iron. A baby’s recommended daily allowance is 11mg!

“Simple”

This is a very popular buzzword used in the contemporary food industry to suggest the product is just like homemade food (which obviously it’s not because it’s a processed food). "Simple" foods are packaged in boxes, pouches and jars with uncluttered design and, often, cursive logos and a lot of green. Organix Ltd are a prime example. They market their Apple And Blueberry puree as ‘simple and smooth’. However look at the label. Things aren't really that simple. The product contains several ingredients including Ascorbic Acid. Likewise, Gerber ‘simply peach’ yogurt contains 13 separate ingredients! - including Tapioca Starch, Gelatin, and Citric Acid. It even contains more added sugar than it does peaches (quite rich for a product called ‘simply peach’!)

Unfortunately, ‘simple’ is becoming a highly saturated word in the baby food sector. Let’s play a game of Spot the Simple!

Click for a larger view
“Hearty”

Another unregulated word, 'hearty' gives the illusion of wholesome food that is substantial in portion and quality. The dictionary definition of hearty is: "providing abundant nourishment". Yet Cow & Gate's 'Hearty Shepherd's Pie' contains only 9% meat. Gerber's 'Hearty Chicken & Rice Dinner' is high in sugar and it's largest ingredient is water. NurturMe 'Hearty Sweet Potato' contains a triple whammy of fillers - maltodextrin, corn starch and lecithin. This is hardly 'abundant nourishment'.


“No Added Sugar”

A product can say ‘no added sugar’ on the front of the packet, and still contain enough fruit syrup to take the total sugar level to over 50% of the product by weight. In fact, fifty three percent of food products specifically targeted to babies and toddlers have an excessive proportion - more than 20 per cent - of calories coming from sugar (Science Daily 2010). Yet dietary recommendations suggest that sugar should not contribute more than 10% of energy.

“No Added Salt”

In a similar vein to the ‘no added sugar’ claim, when a product claims to have ‘no added salt’ it can still ironically be high in salt. For example, when you a buy a meal containing cheese, it is allowed to say on the packet "no added salt" when in fact the meal contains a significant amount of salt, which is contained in the cheese itself. A 100g of cheese can contain 1.5g to 3.5g of salt (more than a child’s recommended daily intake). Also, a lot of manufacturers use the word “Sodium” on their nutritional information label instead of salt because this enables them to disguise the true salt content of the product (Hint: to convert sodium levels per 100g into salt, multiply the figure by 2.5).

“No Artificial Sweeteners”

This is a derivative of the ‘No Added Sugar’ claim, yet even more insidious. Products with no artificial sweeteners simply use real sugar to improve taste, and sometimes far above recommended doses. Take this jar of Cow & Gate ‘Banana and Cookie Crumble’ aimed at 7 month olds for example. The label proudly declares that the product has “no artificial sweeteners” and this is part of Cow & Gate’s promise of ‘Complete Care’ towards babies. Yet the contents of the jar are 19% sugar! However as the sugar is not artificial, they can get away with it.


This jar of Hipp Organic 'Banana Yogurt Breakfast' is aimed at even younger babies - 4 months old - and is packed with added sugar. It contains 11.2g of sugar per 100g!


“No Artificial Preservatives”

Alongside boiling the food to death, part of the strategy used by manufacturers to increase shelf life is to add natural acid, which acts as a preservative (Koufman 2010), and because it’s ‘natural’ it enables the company to flaunt the ‘no artificial preservatives’ buzzwords. Organic brands are particularly fond of this technique as it allows them to add a preservative whilst at the same time retaining their 100% organic claim. Acids commonly added to these foods include citric acid, ascorbic acid and even folic acid. Citric acid is commonly used to remove limescale from boilers and evaporators. Ascorbic acid is used to remove dissolved metal stains, such as iron, from fiberglass swimming pool surfaces. When added to food, these acids increase the acidity in your baby’s diet and thus result in increased incidents of baby reflux.

Heinz ‘Banana Delight’ contains just 16% banana! The label touts the claim “absolutely no artificial colours, flavours or preservatives” in large bold font on the front. The product contains citric acid as a preservative and added sugar, which also acts as a preservative. Both of these ingredients erode babies’ teeth as well as triggering reflux and increasing other health risks.


“No Artificial Flavours”


Manufacturers love the term “no artificial flavours” as it exploits a giant loophole allowing them to conceal the truth about the laundry list of synthetic, laboratory-concocted food agents. The fact is, both natural and artificial flavours are laboratory concoctions. Flavours are extracted from artificial or natural sources, heavily processed with chemicals, and ‘improved upon’ to make them stimulating and addictive to consumers. Neither is healthy. Natural flavours and artificial flavours could contain exactly the same chemicals although consumers can't tell what's in them because of the secrecy permitted to manufacturers to guard their flavour formulas. Take one of those chemicals - amyl acetate - for example. It can be claimed as natural on a label. But it’s been linked to nervous-system problems, depression, indigestion, chest pain, headaches, fatigue and irritation of mucous membranes. As author Eric Schlosser says in his bestselling book Fast Food Nation: “Natural and artificial flavours are now manufactured at the same chemical plants, places that few people would associate with Mother Nature. Calling any of these flavours “natural” requires a flexible attitude toward the English language and a fair amount of irony.”

Here’s an example from Heinz. The ingredients list for their 'Banana Multigrain' cereal features the item ‘Natural Flavouring’. No further detail is given as to what the actual components of this natural flavouring are. The packaging also features the buzzwords:  ‘no artificial colours, flavours or preservatives’. However the product contains ‘Maltodextrin’, an artificial sweetener! Maltodextrin is harmful to teeth, has a high glycemic index and can trigger allergic reactions. However as sweeteners aren’t technically a ‘flavour’ they fall outside the guidelines. Notice also that the product contains only 29 percent banana and there’s a massive 24g of added sugar per 100g!


Annabel Karmel's ‘Mini Biscotti Biscuits’ aimed at babies from 12 months have “100% Natural Flavours” touted prominently on the label. They are packed with Vegetable Oil, Cane Sugar, Starch, Golden Syrup, and Honey – all of which can be interpreted as ‘natural’ but are not desirable for babies, particularly honey which can cause infant botulism, a life threatening condition.


“No Added Nasties”

I’m not joking. This is a genuine food claim on Annabel Karmel’s range of toddler ready meals. The product has ‘no added nasties’, so presumably it only contains ‘nasties’ inherent in the food? It does, after all, contain Wheat Flour and Corn Flour as thickeners.


In fact, this product is a particularly potent example of a manufacturer exploiting marketing buzz words. Notice that the packaging claims “no added salt” and “no added sugar”. Yet the product contains worcester sauce, which the small print admits contains added salt and added sugar! Here Annabel Karmel is abusing a legal loop hole where a product is permitted to claim "no added salt" when in fact the meal contains a significant amount of salt, which is contained within one of the ingredients!


In a nutshell, health claims such as those discussed above act as a marketing smokescreen. In their study, the Children’s Food Campaign discovered that almost all the baby food products found to contain high levels of sugar and/or saturated fat also carry health claims such as “Added vitamins”, “No added salt” or “No added preservatives”.   While such claims may be factually true, they are simply a ploy to distract parents’ attention from less healthy attributes of the product.  This gives a misleading impression of the overall healthiness of a product, making it more difficult for parents to choose healthy products.

In 2006, legislation was introduced (Regulation (EC) 1924/2006) to ensure that health claims cannot be made about less healthy products so that consumers are not misled and can make informed choices. However baby foods are excluded from this legislation because babies and young children have different nutritional requirements than adults. Yet no comparative regulation was introduced for babies!

THE ‘ADDITIONAL’ INGREDIENTS:

As well as everything the manufacturers planned to include in the product, there is a significant risk of unplanned ingredients slipping in during the industrial process. Due to the nature of manufacturing – the sheer quantity of product produced, the capacity for corrupt employees, lengthy transportation and packaging chains – foreign objects are par for the course.

Here’s a timeline detailing the recent history of undesirable (to put it mildly!) objects found in commercial baby food.

2004:

Safety pin - read the news story here.


Poison - read the news story here


Ransom note - read the news story here.


2006:

Glass - read the news story here.


2008:

Worms - read the news story here.


2010:

Staples - read the news story here.


Rust - read the news story here.


Plastic pieces - read the news story here.


2011:

More plastic pieces - read the news stories here and here.


Slug - read the news story here.


More glass - read the news story here.


2012:

Plastic tube - read the news story here.


Dead grasshopper - read the news story here.


Dead rat pups - read the news story here.


Veterinary drugs - read the news story here.


Human finger nail - read the news story here.


2013:

Pieces of wood - read the news story here.


I know what you’re thinking, I must have chosen the most ‘extreme’ examples. Sadly, this isn't the case. 'Non-food' items such as bug parts, rodent hair and rodent droppings are in fact, deemed an acceptable standard in the food processing industry. The Food and Drug Administration has produced guidelines detailing acceptable levels of food contamination from sources such as maggots, thrips, insect fragments, "foreign matter", mold, rodent hairs, and insect and mammalian feces. Yum.

For instance, tomato paste, pizza sauce or other sauces can legally include 30 or more fly eggs per 100 grams. Alternatively, you can have 15 or more fly eggs and one or more maggots. As another example, wheat flour, a common ingredient in baby food, can include an average of 150 or more insect fragments per 100 grams! (FDA 2011). Bon appetit!

To Conclude


It is a child’s birthright to be provided with healthy and wholesome food to aid their optimum growth and development. Yet parents who assume that the food industry share this view are naive wishful thinkers. Jarred baby foods exploit parents' trust in terms of cost, value, nutrition, quality and safety. Pouched, potted and boxed baby foods are not immune either.

Reliance on baby food manufacturers to show social responsibility is ineffective because companies are legally obliged to act the best interest of their shareholders, not consumers. Asking baby food manufacturers to change merely serves as a distraction from perusing more effective initiatives. For instance, there is an urgent need for adequate Government regulation of the baby food industry. There's no need to vainly rely on manufacturers’ good will when Government has the power to enforce effective regulation.

In the meantime, what’s the best way to improve the nutritional value of your baby's foods? The answer is surprisingly simple! Just puree the vegetables and fruits or meats in a blender yourself and store them overnight in the refrigerator. Ta-dah! Or hell, why not go the easy, and frankly common sense route – baby led weaning.



Triumphant Tuesday: Breastfeeding in a Hostile Community

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Studies suggest that the support a woman receives from her partner can make or break her breastfeeding success (Arora et al 2000; Tohotoa et al 2009; U.S. Department of Health 2011). The same is equally true of the impact Grandma has on breastfeeding success (Bentley et al 2003; Susin et al 2005; Grassley and Eschiti 2008; Agunbiade and Ogunleye 2012). Consider also that mothers from low socioeconomic backgrounds breastfeed for shorter durations (Heck et al
2006; Flacking et al 2007; Amir and Donath 2008) and teen moms seldom breastfeed at all! (NHS 2004; Unicef 2010; Tucker et al 2011). Evidently the odds were stacked against this week’s Triumphant mom. She was a teenage mother, living in a deprived area with an unsupportive partner, interfering mother, and sabotaging social community to boot! This is her story.

“I was 17 when I fell pregnant and living with my parents in an area of high deprivation. I was determined to breastfeed. I had fed and nourished my baby for 9 months, and saw breastfeeding as an extension of that.  It is free, it is time saving, it is better for me as well as being the best option for my baby. Yet people in my community rarely breastfed, and teenage mothers certainly did not!  

Grandma Undermining

It was an uncomfortable situation at the best of times, with my wonderful (if slightly deranged) mother not supportive of my parenting choices. The first thing my mother put on the list of 'things the baby needs' was a sterilizer and bottles. I added a breast pump.

Pessimistic Midwives

When my son was born, the midwives told me he had tongue-tie before they even put him in my arms!  They said very matter-of-factly that he would not be able to breastfeed. When I was struggling with trying to get him to latch on, the hospital staff came in and plonked him on my boob in a very undignified manner then walked off.  No advice whatsoever was given, except to make sure that I closed the curtain around the bed so no-one could see me nursing! 

Not-so-Subtle Formula Pushing


When my son was not sleeping (at 4 weeks old... when most babies aren't sleeping) mom would come into my bedroom in the middle of the night with a bottle of formula and sit it on my bedside table to "make things easier".  I think, before she got the message, she went through two tubs of formula and my chubby little monster never touched a drop.

Cracked Nipples and Mastitis 

When my nipples cracked and I carried on feeding, she and my partner would roll their eyes. When I got mastitis and insisted he just needed to be placed at the breast more, they were convinced I was doing more harm than good. Mastitis was horrible.  I felt constantly ill, exhausted all the time and I was pretty certain that my breasts were about to explode.  My health visitor had no advice whatsoever. My local breastfeeding support group were very sympathetic, but again no advice, so I tried to educate myself as much as possible. 

Man-Child

Moving in with my partner didn't make it much easier. He had a tantrum, one which would be expected of a toddler who wasn't allowed sweeties. He argued that our son was "spoilt" because I was still nursing him regularly throughout the day. Personally I think it was my partner who was behaving like the spoilt one. He thought he should have priority over our son as though my breasts belonged to him. Unsurprisingly he didn't remain my partner for much longer.

Mixing Employment with Breastfeeding

When my son was 5 months old, I started working in a local pub and used to request time out so I could pump.  The boss was fine with this arrangement but the comments from some of the locals were often petty and unwanted. Similar comments came from my Grandmother that I should stop feeding instantly or he “would be feeding into adolescence”. People are bizarre.  Even my local breastfeeding group, which I ended up running, was difficult at times.  There was no support from the staff in the clinic; the health visitors were nowhere to be seen when needed, and very few of the mothers fed past 6 months; it was quite isolating towards the end.


In the end I nursed my son for 30 months. Now I have a 5 (nearly 6 year old), he has a cognitive and developmental disorder.  He struggles to recognize faces, has no concept of time, strong autistic traits, dyspraxia and hyper-mobile joints.  But that's ok, I know the choice to EBF was the best one, he is secure and happy regardless of his difficulties and, knowing that my parenting is not what has caused his difficulties, I take comfort in the fact that he could have been struggling so much more had he not been given the best start.

There is no logic behind formula feeding an infant when you can feed naturally. The idea that formula feeding is 'normal' I find exasperating!  Breastfeeding is normal, it is  natural, it is perfect.  Formula is the thing you should use only if you physically cannot feed.”




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Feminist Children's Books: Part Two

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Here's another ten liberating children's books to tickle your feminist fancy (First, catch up on part one here).

Pippi Longstocking
Astrid Lindgren


Pippi is spunky adventurous nine-year-old girl with freckles, pigtails and trademark ‘longstockings’. Some may refer to her as a tomboy. I prefer to describe her as daring and playful with a hint of smartarse. What’s more, she’s random in an intriguing and entertaining sense - she lives with a horse, a monkey, and a big suitcase of gold coins.

This book is a treasury of her various antics, which include, organising an expedition, ‘dancing with burglars’, and ‘playing tag with the police’. Her cheeky enthusiasm is contagious. One can’t help but smile when reading of her adventures. Her witty remarks are simple yet sarcastic, the kind only a child can make unscathed. For instance, when the police say she must go to school otherwise she won’t know what the capital of Portugal is, Pippi replies, “If you’re so desperately anxious to know what the capital of Portugal is, then by all means write a letter to Portugal and ask them!” The humorous narrative is complimented by delicious illustrations which combine an eclectic mix of fabrics and childlike pencil drawings with ripped newspaper. I’m not sure who would be entertained most by this book – girls, boys, or indeed their parents.



Pirate Girl
Cornelia Funke


The story begins with a crew of boozy, menacing pirate men - the stereotypical sort that “make the knees of honest seafaring folk shake like jelly”. One day they decided to rob a ship – a ship that they should have left well alone. On board was a little girl called Molly. The pirates took her as hostage and made her peel potatoes and clean boots.

But Molly was resilient, intelligent and resourceful. She had a plan. Every night while the pirates were drunk and arsing about, she wrote secret messages and popped them into empty bottles (there were plenty lying around thanks to the pirates' alcoholic tendencies). When the pirates were safely snoring in their bunks, she tossed the bottles into the sea. Then... (fake drum role)...someone receives the bottles and comes to Molly’s rescue. That someone is ‘Barbarous Bertha’, Molly’s mother and the most dangerous of all pirates! She arrives with style, sailing in a grand ship heaving with strong pirate women of every shape and size. The matriarchal crew of pirate women give the pirate men a good seeing to (in the retributive sense), reducing them to potato peeling, boot cleaning submissives.




You Can’t Scare a Princess!
Gillian Rogerson and Sarah McIntyre


Pirates tend to be a popular theme in children’s books (no shit!), and this appears to be particularly so when the book has a feminist twist. ‘You Can’t Scare A Princess’ is another book from the pirate genre with a side helping of ‘princess parody’.

Princess Spaghetti (so called after her pasta-shaped hair presumably) lives in what I can only describe as a parallel universe full of candy-themed islands. Her castle is a giant pink cupcake (it looks like a breast to be honest). Whilst the combination of ‘pink’ and ‘cupcake’ and ‘princess’ are enough to make any feminist roll their eyes out of their sockets, fear not. They appear to act as a smokescreen behind which lurks a brave and resourceful girl.

After her father is kidnapped by pirates, said baddies make Princess Spaghetti help them find a treasure chest that is hidden somewhere in her kingdom. During their search it becomes apparent that the princess is more fearless than the pirate folk, and quick-witted to boot. She navigates treacherous terrain whilst the pirates bumble along behind her. When they finally reach the treasure chest...(spoiler alert)... they discover that another pirate has already stolen the treasure! The pirates are not happy by this at all. Cue a pitiful man-child crying spree. “I want my mummy!” one of them bawls. The accompanying illustration depicts Princess Spaghetti with an unfazed and bemused expression. This leads us to the climax of the book, which is a little random and less satisfying than the build up would lead us to expect. Basically the princess befriends the pirates and introduces them to the delights of rollerskating. Stockholm syndrome anyone?




Sophie and the Shadow Woods
Linda Chapman and Lee Weatherly


On her tenth birthday, Sophie Smith's life changes forever. As the new guardian of a magic gateway in the mysterious Shadow Woods, her mission is to stop the mischievous creatures that live there from entering our world. But disaster strikes when the Goblin King steals the key to the gateway... Sounds all very David Bowie to me.

In this six book character-led series aimed at 7+ girls, modern day heroine Sophie has to call upon all her strength and skills to defeat various creatures. Think: tween Harry Potter. Sophie is brave, resilient and sharp-witted. She is an inspiring example of the fact that girls should not be dismissed as the ‘weaker sex’ (as Sophie’s Grandad often does in the story). Aptly the book's tagline is ‘Only one girl can save the world’. Unfortunately, the 'Bratz'-style illustrations don't do her justice. In some illustrations she could even be wearing make-up.

Contrast this with the official website's description of Sophie as ‘a tomboy through and through’ which ironically I also don’t think is helpful. Strong, independent females should not attract masculine labels. Apparently Sophie lives in jeans and t-shirts and enjoys action films, sports, bikes, skateboards and dreaming of becoming a stuntwoman in films. Fair enough, but it gets predictable... She dislikes ‘girly things’ and is understandably wound-up when her grandfather does 'boy stuff' with her brother and leaves her out.

Evidently the writing could be criticised as lazy; for instance, it appears nonsensical that Sophie is highly talented on one hand (skilled at Taekwondo and skateboarding) yet on the other hand she is clumsy in giving away secrets to the enemy, and losing things. However I believe this dichotomy adds depth and humanity to the character. ‘Perfect’ characters can have a contemptuous effect on children’s self-esteem. That Sophie has flaws does not damage her rightful place as a role model for girls and boys alike. The realism and humanity of Sophie’s character balances perfectly with the fantastical nature of her adventures. Also, the spotlight on relationships with friends and family is well-pitched, and the book is littered with genuine laugh out loud moments. You'll wish you were 7 again.




I Know a Rhino
Charles Fuge


"I Know a Rhino" is simple board book about a child's imaginary world of play. Beautiful illustrations, overflowing with character, add to the dynamics of the plot. The central child character is designed so androgynously that they could be either male or female. For the most part, they wear jeans and a tshirt. However they have long hair and in one illustration can be seen in a pink fairy outfit. Gender is not mentioned in the text. It was only when I carried out my own research that I discovered the central character is in fact, a girl.

The eclectic range of adventures she enjoys with her various animal friends include a tea party with a rhino, playing in dirt with a pig, miming pop songs with an orangutan, administering medical care to a dragon, bathing with a giraffe, and so on. At the end of the book we discover the true identity of the animals – they are her stuffed toys.




Princess Pigsty
Cornelia Funke and Kerstin Meyer


Young princess Isabella has it all - but has had enough of it! She has had enough of being waited on hand and foot, of having to smile all the time, and of wearing beautiful dresses that she can't climb trees in. So when the king banishes her to the pigsty, his punishment backfires - Isabella's happier there than a pig in... well, you get the idea.

This amusing story about non-conformity challenges the widespread notion that all girls want to be princesses. In this narrative, the traditional life of a princess is presented as boring and restrictive. The quirky illustrations perfectly capture the sharp contrast between cheeky Isabella and her angelic sisters. When she is not hiding under the bed from an onslaught of hair straightners, Isabella can be seen throwing her crown out of the window in a rebellious strop.

After banishing her to the pigsty, the king finally realises that his attempts to shoehorn his daughter into the princess stereotype (“put on a pretty dress and comb your hair”) are perpetually in vain. Upon seeing her happiness and contentment as she wallows in the mud he finally accepts her as she is.





Maisy’s Fire Engine
Lucy Cousins


Children are never too young to be exposed to strong, female role models. In this simple board book feminism starts at toddlerhood. Maisy Mouse and her male side-kick, Cyril the squirrel, like to participate in a variety of activities. Today they are driving their fire engine. Maisy sits in the front and drives whilst Cyril rides in the seat behind. However when clumsy Cyril accidently sprays a cat with his water hose (the one attached to the fire engine you understand), the cat freaks out and climbs onto the roof of a random shed. Maisy to the rescue!

Cyril quivers in his boots as he watches Maisy perilously climb a ladder and rescue the grateful kitty. Needless to say, it’s refreshing to see a book aimed at very young children in which the main, most active character is female, and the more passive character is male. What’s more, the male character was the one to cause a scenario whereby someone needs saving – and our female heroine executes the rescue. Combine these elements with Lucy Cousin’s trademark bold, childlike illustrations and you’ve got a winner.



Lucia and the Light
Phyllis Root and Mary Grandpre


Inspired by Nordic lore, this atmospheric tale places the limelight on a courageous girl and her mission to save her family.

Lucia, her mother, and baby brother live in a small isolated cabin in the middle of nowhere. As the snows mount and the winds howl around their tiny home, their food supplies dwindle.

One morning, the sun does not rise. Darkness envelops Lucia's world and when the cow stops giving milk, the brave girl decides to go out into the world and bring the sun home again. She skis and trudges through ferocious snow storms in spite of adversity and fear. Grandpre's evocative, dimly lit acrylics capture the eerie mystery and shivery suspense of the adventure, as Lucia treks through spooky, starlit forests and finally finds the sun, held hostage by a band of wrinkly gruesome Hugh Hefneresque trolls.






Dolls House Fairy
Jane Ray


This is the second of Jane Ray’s books that I’ve had the pleasure to review. The first, ‘The Story of Christmas’, I featured in my article: “Images of Breastfeeding in Children’s Books”.

The pages of Dolls House Fairy feature Ray’s trademark gold enamels and eclectic use of textures. Rosy, a young girl and the star of the story, is in for a big surprise.

The narrative begins by painting a pretty unimaginative set-up: Rosy loved her dolls house. It was her favourite thing in the whole world because her dad had built it just for her. (Bear with me, there is some feminism in here, honest). She played for hours with her dolls house, making up games and stories for the dolls that lived there. Suddenly one day an unorthodox fairy with anarchic behavioural problems decided to move in (booom – there it is!)

This fairy was not called ‘Rose’ or ‘Petal’ or ‘Daisy’ or any such fairy-like name. This fairy was called ‘Thistle’ and she had the hair of Russell Brand, the dress sense of Rab C Nesbit and the manners of a builder with tourettes. She wasn’t like the sweet fairies in Rosie’s storybooks. She was funny and noisy and full of mischief. She bounced on the bed and drew on the walls. She spilt things and dropped things and scattered fairy dust everywhere.

Naturally, only Rosie could see Thistle the fairy - this plot twist lends itself to multiple interpretation possibilities. Does Thistle really exist, or is she Rosie’s imaginary friend? Or is Thistle Rosie’s alter ego? Or perhaps Thistle is a metaphor for PMS or riotgrrl style rage at the Patriarchy? So many questions.





The Pirate Queen
Terry Deary


Grace O’Malley is one badass pirate. In fact, she’s “the greatest pirate that ever lived”, and woe betide you forget it. As a child she saved her father’s life at the hands of English soldiers. Now, a grown woman, and the leader of a crew of male pirates, Grace faces the English again. They capture her, but instead of being hanged, she is sent to London – by royal command. What will happen to the Queen of the Pirates when she meets the Queen of England? Will her quick witts, knife skills and potty mouth be her saviour? The humour, illustrations and characters of this book are very-Blackadder, and Grace, although volatile, unsightly and perpetually angry, proves herself a lovable rouge. One of the best feminist books from the pirate genre.



Coming up: Feminist Children's Books, Part 3

Triumphant Tuesday: Breastfeeding a Sick Premature Baby

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Breast milk is a complex living, morphing, dynamic substance. It contains live cells that protect babies from infection, and these are are even more important for premature babies. Preemies have a lower immune function than term babies. Also ironically, the very interventions used to save the lives of prem babies make them even more vulnerable to infection, such as intravenous lines, blood tests and intubation tubes.

With these concerns in mind, it would seem feasible to assume that medical professionals, families and communities would encourage and facilitate the breastfeeding of premature babies. However this is sadly not the case, as Megan's story illustrates.

My son Liam was born prematurely at 29 weeks due to my water breaking.  He weighed 1330 grams at birth and was not stable enough to be held for more than a minute at a time.  He was too little to be directly breastfed but the nurses and doctors encouraged me to pump.  

On death's door


7 days after he was born, Liam became critically ill.  My husband and I had to rush to the hospital at 4 a.m. as the staff were not sure if Liam was going to make it.  The nurses later told us it was like a 9.5 out of 10 on the severity scale.  Liam had to be temporarily paralyzed and intubated for 72 hours. He bled into his lungs and eyes as a result (this was in addition to the blood that was already in his brain.)

When I was told that my son might not survive I felt a cocktail of emotions: disbelief, confusion, helplessness and terror. We live an hour from the hospital so it was the longest drive of our lives.  I remember going to the parking lot and being scared to go into the hospital and face the reality.  It was the only time my husband and I have held hands.  I worried how I was going to tell everyone. He is the first grandchild on both sides and meant the world to everyone not just us.  There were so many people pulling for him, I was horrified how it would impact on everyone.

Starved of touch

Fortunately, he pulled through but as a consequence we could not hold him until he was three weeks old.  If he was touched, he became distressed and stopped breathing.  Even after the three week period, he could only be held once a day for no more than an hour for about a month.  I'm not bringing this up because I want others to feel bad for us.  There is no reason for pity; we are one of the lucky ones.  I bring this up because I feel the lack of contact in the first 6 to 8 weeks was difficult for my supply.

Top-ups

In order to keep up my supply I pumped every 3 hours around the clock while my son was in the hospital ( a total of 65 days.)  Due to his illness, he was only eating 25ml max a feed so I was able to build up a stock pile.  When he was 50 days old or so we were able to practice breastfeeding and eventually I was allowed to feed him 3 times a day via breast with top-ups of expressed breastmilk after.  Breastfeeding tired him out so the doctors mandated the top-ups.  

When Liam came home I was told to work-up to breast only with a combination of breastfeeding with breastmilk top-ups.  This was quite difficult as Liam would become very sleepy. Our routine would be breast, he would fall asleep, wake-up and scream because he was still hungry, feed him again and repeat for 1/2 hour.  Then I would pump for another 1/2 hour while I topped him up (to maintain my supply as he wasn't taking a full feed.)  This process would take at least an hour only to start-over again.  Sometimes I was so tired and frustrated I cried with him.  I didn't quit though because everything I read about breastmilk made me want to keep going.

Family flack

My family gave me some flack at first.  Both my husband and I were formula feed babies so our families didn't really understand.  They teased me about feeding him and asked me if I will be in Time magazine too when my son is older.  I told them of course not, Time is American.  I will be in MacCleans (this is the Canadian equivalent).  

People in general often told me that he was too small and not getting enough to eat.The nurses at that Well Baby clinic were always telling me I should be doing something it. I was pressured to introduce solids earlier to “help him sleep through the night” and help him gain weight. It was hard but I did not cave.

Unhelpful doctor

As he grew he was eating more and going through my stock pile of breast milk.  I held off at first hoping it was a growth spurt but when I was almost out of milk I panicked.  I asked my doctor what I could do for low supply, he said formula.  When I stated that was not acceptable and asked him about domperidone, he said he didn't prescribe it because it's for nausea not milk supply.  Fair enough, his practice, not mine.  However, I was not going to let this break me.  I called the lactation consultant I met at the hospital, our local health unit and several others looking for someone to help (I live in a small town with no La Leche League and limited resources).  After several hours of calls I finally found someone who would prescribe domperidone.  

Domperidone

I took the prescription for 6 weeks and then was able to wean myself off and get my son completely on the breast with no top-ups. He started on solids at 6 months corrected (wanted to maintain his virgin gut).  He gains weight slowly; he only weighs 16 lbs now but I never gave up despite comments that I should because it was too hard or that he wasn't gaining enough.

Now he is a very happy and healthy baby and I think it is largely due to the breastmilk. These days I happily feed him in front of my family and they proudly tell others that I breastfeed him.



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Triumphant Tuesday: The Veteran Breastfeeder

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Once commonplace, an experienced breastfeeding mother is now a rare commodity. This is a great shame as there is much we can learn from the veteran breastfeeder. Contrary to common assumption, most experienced breastfeeding mothers have not had it ‘lucky’. Rather, their success is a product of persistence, dedication, bravery and stamina.

This week’s triumphant mom had three babies, all exclusively breastfed, all self-weaned. She endured traumatic births, judgemental relatives, formula pushing medical staff, mastitis, having to pump during office meetings, a jaundiced baby, a dairy intolerant baby, and a lip-tied baby. She is now a lactation consultant. This is her story.


I had my first son when I was 21. It was a traumatic birth (all natural, just a little stuck and in stress) and he ended up in the NICU for 3 days. Being a young, first time mom, I had said I would "try" to breastfeed. The NICU staff only let me in every 3 hours to feed my baby and provided me with a pump for in between, so I pumped, and pumped and pumped. and nothing. not even a drop. It was a good thing I had read about breastfeeding while pregnant and knew it was normal for the milk to trickle at this point, so I persevered and pumped and fed my little baby who was all hooked up to wires, every chance I got.  

A bond like no other

Once I tried breastfeeding, I realized it is something that can never be replaced between a mother and a child.  I loved the feeling of being able to nourish my child with my own body, an extension of developing the baby inside of the womb.  I became very interested in all the health benefits and research about breast milk and decided I could never give my child an inferior start.

Ruthless relatives

However my family, friends, and "in-laws" all had a negative view of breastfeeding. My friends, all around the age of 21, could not understand why I would want to "ruin my boobs" or be "so tied down", we obviously had different priorities.  My own father was very uncomfortable and would comment that I "whipped my boob out" or that it’s "time to get the kid off the tit" and ordered for me to leave the room completely when I needed to nurse.  This made me feel very uncomfortable, but I honoured his wishes. As I practiced and got more discrete I was able to get up the gumption to nurse where ever I wanted, even at the Mall with no cover by 1 month old! 

My in-laws had similar prejudice and were worried that their son would "not be able to bond with the baby" if I did not allow him to have a bottle.  My mother-in -law even went as far to buy a can of formula for "when he is at their house". I made sure he was never alone at their house because of that!

I exclusively breastfed my first born until 4 months when we introduced rice cereal (hey, it was 9 years ago, and I know better now) and continued nursing with not one drop of formula for 18 months when he self-weaned. I also worked full time, but was able to bring him to work with me until the time he weaned.

Baby #2

My next son was born when I was 25, by then my partner and I had married.  I knew I would breastfeed this child without a doubt. His labor was induced 10 days after his due date because my amniotic fluid was low. I ended up with an emergency c-section, as he was breach and we unsuccessfully tried aversion twice.  After the surgery I begged to hold my baby and the nurses insisted I had to get some feeling back before I was allowed to hold him.  My husband knew how important it was to "get the baby to the boob within an hour" after delivery and so he propped our son at the breast in the recovery room for him to nurse.  

Pressure to formula feed

This baby ended up jaundiced and had to stay under light therapy for 3 days. He could only come out every 2-3 hours to nurse.  The hospital staff encouraged me to give him formula to help his billirubin levels come down. They were polite but persistent.  At every shift change, every nurse, every feeding, I was asked if I would consider the formula. I refused and said I would just nurse him more. After 5 days in the hospital his levels were finally safe and we were discharged.  

Dairy-intolerance

He was my fussiest baby and I couldn't understand why. At about 4 weeks old I realized he was sensitive to something I was eating and started an elimination diet - not an easy task, especially when I discovered it was dairy he was reacting to. It was now that I realized how many dairy products we consumed in our household!  Cheese was definitely the hardest food to eliminate.  We did find a cheddar flavored tofu that worked as a substitute, but it was not the same! I continued to avoid dairy for the next year and nursed him until he self-weaned at 17 months.  I introduced homemade cereals and purees at 6 months but kept breast milk his main nutrition.

Baby #3

My last, and current nursling was going to be a breeze.  I was 29 years old and had encountered everything I would with 3+ years of nursing already, right? Wrong.  I had a scheduled c-section due to the previous and the hospital’s policy against VBACs, plus I had developed severe gestational diabetes and it was important to make sure my and the baby's glucose were at safe levels after birth.  My baby girl was brought to me sooner than I had expected and she latched right on. 

Lip-tied

Baby and I were happy, until a few days later when blisters started to develop on my nipples.  I knew what a correct latch should feel like and it just didn't feel right. Baby girl was lip tied and not able to flange which crushed my nipples raw. She too seemed fussy and I was worried she was not getting enough since she could not latch right.  

Stealth supplementation

The hospital night nurse gave my baby formula from a cup, without my consent. My daughter then slept for about 4 hours which meant that I slept too.  I felt betrayed! Let down. And bad for my baby girl.  I trusted the nurses to care for my baby while I rested between feedings. When I woke from that 4 hour stretch of sleep I immediately called for the nurse to bring my baby girl back to me. When I realized we had slept through 2 feedings I asked how and the nurse whispered to me that she had "cup fed her a little formula, she was a hungry girl" I started crying, and sobbing, and stuttering, unable to explain why I was so upset the nurse wrote it off as hormones.  I put my baby to the breast and calmed down and called for the Lactation Consultant and my midwife. They were both irate and agreed that it was not a decision for the nurse to make. I then diverted my attention to focusing on getting a better latch and healing my skin.  

Formula pushing pead

Weeks of painful latch and cringing at feeding time, finally stretched her lip enough and toughened up my nipples to make it bearable to breastfeed. She had lost 1 full pound before we left the hospital and the pediatrician strongly encouraged a supplement of formula. He actually wrote on her prescription pad a note to me explaining when and how much formula to give.  I read it and told the Dr that I was not comfortable with that recommendation.  The pediatrician asked me to keep an open mind.  I asked him to do the same.  I knew that once my milk came in my baby would gain.   We agreed on weight checks for her every 2-3 days until she was back up to birth weight.

Mastitis

By 2 months old my baby who weighed 8 lbs 10 oz at birth had doubled her weight.  My milk came in with a vengeance this time and swelled up to my armpits with melon sized knots keeping me from even putting my arms down.  I suffered from one clogged duct after another and had my first case of Mastitis. I was shocked. Over 4 years of nursing and I had never encountered that; I thought I was in the clear.  Boy was I wrong, Mastitis does not discriminate.  I felt achy all over, sick, feverish, and just like I had the flu accompanied by a red, swollen, streaky breast.  I used antibiotics and nursed as much as my baby would.  It was excruciating to latch and about the first 2 minutes were almost unbearable.  Once I got through letdown, I was able to massage my breast and encourage my baby girl to keep going! After 2 days on the antibiotics and 3 days of pain, the infection started to clear up.

Pumping at work

By this time I had discovered baby led weaning and introduced solids to her when she was almost 7 months old, again keeping breastmilk as her main source of nutrition.  I worked full time out of the home and was not able to bring my daughter with me. Despite the tedious hours I pumped diligently and my daughter never received anything but breast milk while momma was at work. I pumped in the car, in restrooms while away at trainings, and in front of a whole staff meeting, because that was where the outlet was available! You could say my modesty has gone out the window. 


My baby girl is now 17 months old and I plan to let her self-wean, hopefully past the age of 2 years!

I have since become a Certified Lactation Consultant through my work and counsel breastfeeding mothers every day.  I will never say it was easy - it was emotional, painful, and much hard work, but I would not trade my breastfeeding experiences for the world.

Any mother who does not try breastfeeding is missing out on a one-of-a-kind experience.  I also feel bad for the child because I believe that even if breastfeeding is not right for every mother, it is what is right for every baby.


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Formula Feeding and Obesity

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A little while ago I posted an article titled, ‘It’s Just Baby Fat’, in which I ridiculed a grotesque toy doll that came armed with a toy bottle. I linked the baby’s obese frame with the suggestion that it was formula fed. 


The response to this post was overwhelmingly one of contemptuous anger (really? One of my posts? Never!)

Likewise, this mock health advertisement which I posted on The Alpha Parent Facebook page was greeted with similar disdain:


So I’d like to add some facts and stats to support my ‘formula fed babies as fatties’ stance.

During the first 6 to 8 weeks of life there is little difference in growth (gain in weight and length) between breast- and formula-fed babies. However, from about 2 months of age formula-fed infants gain weight and length more rapidly than breast-fed infants (Ziegler 2006Singhal 2007; Rebhan 2009Larnkjaer et al 2009Durmuş et al 2011Rose et al 2012). Numerous studies have shown that by the end of the first year breast-fed infants are leaner than formula-fed infants (Lande et al 2005Tantracheewathorn 2005Oddy et al 2006; Scholtens 2008Stuebe 2009; Van Rossem 2011Mindru and Moraru 2012). So formula fed babies *are* fatties. But why?

There are several reasons why formula feeding is a recipe for obesity.

Reason #1 Species Specific

Milk is species specific. The protein intake of breast-fed infants decreases with age and closely matches the requirements for protein during the early months of life, whereas the protein intake of formula-fed infants exceeds requirements after the first 1-2 months of life (Ziegler 2006). This is because cow’s milk (the major component in formula) is made to build body mass. The types of fats and proteins it contains encourage weight gain. This makes sense for an animal that will gain so much weight in its first year of life. The human growth rate, for example, is such that a newborn will double his weight in about 180 days, while a calf accomplishes this in only 47 days.

In other words, the composition of formula encourages too many fat cells to be produced (Hester et al 2012). When extra fat cells are laid down, so the theory goes, they persist into adulthood where they can easily be filled with fat again, causing adult obesity (Taveras et al 2009). This explains why non-breastfed babies have a higher incident of glucose intolerance at 9.5 years (Veena et al 2011).

Breastfeeding, on the other hand, has a protective effect on obesity by inducing lower plasma insulin levels, thereby decreasing fat storage and preventing excessive early adipocyte (fatty tissue) development (Oddy 2012). Breast milk also contains a healthier balance of body and brain builders and changes in calorie-content as the baby suckles.

Reason #2 Appetite Regulation

A breastfed baby controls the amount of milk he takes. Because he has to work hard to get the milk, he will stop when he has had enough. Consequently his stomach does not become overstretched. Breastfeeding promotes maternal feeding styles that are less controlling and more responsive to infant cues of hunger and satiety, thereby allowing infants greater self-regulation of energy intake (Taveras 2006). The contrary is true of formula fed babies, whom are more prone to over-feeding and thus, to stomach-stretching (Ruowei Li et al 2012; Brown and Lee 2012; Fein and Grummer-Strawn 2010).

If a baby’s stomach is overstretched regularly, the baby will become accustomed to this ‘full feeling’. He then expects this feeling each time he feeds and this can become the habit for life, leading to overeating (Lim 2009).

Consider also that breast milk changes in composition during the feed (aka the fore/hind milk dichotomy). This mechanism actually helps a baby to know when he has had enough. Depending on how hungry he is the baby can choose to take in more or less of the rich hind milk, which comes at the end of the feed.

Reason #3 Leptin and Ghrelin

The hormones Leptin and Ghrelin, present in breast milk but absent in formula, are key players in ‘programming’ the human appetite and nutritional preferences. When ingested during the suckling period Leptin and Ghrelin are absorbed by the baby's immature stomach exerting certain biological effects. These include: facilitating the normal maturation of tissues and signalling pathways involved in metabolic processes, defining food preferences in favour of carbohydrates versus sat fat, discouraging excessive fat storage in adulthood, and improvement in insulin sensitivity (Agostoni 2005; Savino and Liguori 2006; Palou and Picó 2009; Vickers and Sloboda 2012). These findings are in line with other studies which maintain that neonatal nutrition influences endocrinology more readily than genetics (Zegher et al 2012). 

Next we move onto the cousin of Leptin and Ghrelin...

Reason #4 Growth Hormone

It’s time for a mini science lesson.

Growth hormone is basically the hormone that controls when your adipose (fat) tissues release fatty acids to be metabolized by the rest of your body. A person whom has low growth hormone has a ‘low metabolism’ as it is understood in the popular sense (i.e. the common rant: “I’m fat because I have a low metabolism”). Thus high levels of growth hormone lead to an increased basal metabolic rate (Liu et al 2007). 

So if growth hormone controls the release of fat from your fat tissues, what controls the release of growth hormone? My friends, let me introduce you to IGF-1, a group of hormones in the blood that come from the liver.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, nutrition is the strongest drive of this system, and throughout the whole of evolution IGFs have been the mediators of the control of tissue growth in relation to how much nutrition you have.

Okay, but where do formula fed babies come into this?

The higher protein intake in formula milk drives up the babies’ IGF-1 (Chellakooty et al 2006Ziegler 2006Koletzko et al 2009Larnkjaer et al 2009), as illustrated in this chart:


However this increase of IGF-1 has a dramatic consequence. It re-sets the pituitary so that 7 years later children who were formula fed have a lower IGF-1 level, as illustrated here:


Those with a low IGF-1 have the highest BMI (Body Mass Index) many, many years later. In other words, their growth hormone levels are depressed (Scacchi et al 1999).

Conversely, as you can see in the above charts, breastfed babies have lower levels of IGF as babies, but at 7 to 8 years they have higher levels of IGF-1 (Martin et al 2005; Savino and Lupica 2006). This suggests that during the breastfeeding period, the lower IGF-1 levels have reset the hypothalamic/pituitary axis to a higher responsiveness to increased growth hormone as an inference (Larnkjaer et al 2009Michaelsen et al 2012).

These findings are in line with other studies which maintain that being breastfed for between 13 and 25 weeks is associated with a 38 percent reduction in the risk of obesity at nine-years of age, while being breastfed for 26 weeks or more is associated with a 51 percent reduction in the risk of obesity at nine-years of age (McCrory and Layte 2012; Gillman et al 2001Mayer-Davis et al 2006Weyermann et al 2006Abraham et al 2012).

Another fascinating side-effect of infant feeding method on IGF-1 programming is that people who were formula fed as babies tend to be shorter than those who were breastfed (Schack-Nielsen and Michaelsen 2007Castillo et al 1996). IGF-1 has also been found to enhance intelligence (Gunnell et al 2005) which in part explains why people who were formula fed tend to be less intelligent even after confounding factors have been negated (Quinn  et al 2001Richards et al 2002Oddy et al 2003Victora et al 2005McCrory and Layte 2011Oddy et al 2011Whitehouse et al 2011Tozzi et al 2012Jedrychowski 2012).

These amazing physiological processes are all about our bodies trying to adapt to our environment throughout childhood. The endocrine system is part of that adaptation. Assume you are a formula fed baby. If you are trying to adapt to an environment of high protein intake that is driving your IGF-1, your IGF-I levels will feed back and suppress the central control, re-setting this control under the assumption that you will always have a high protein intake. So you come out of this high protein exposure with a pituitary that has been re-set down.

With all these factors in mind, we see how formula fed babies have the odds stacked against them from the start. However when studies are published which show that feeding a human infant with artificially modified bovine milk (i.e. formula) leads to obesity, formula feeders are up in arms. “Correlation does not equal causation!” they chant. This is a lazy get-out clause used to denounce scientific evidence. The dialogue often goes like this:

Science: "Formula feeding increases a child's risk of becoming obese".
Formula feeder: "No. My child was formula fed and they're not fat".
Science: "Scientific studies have shown that children who were formula fed are statistically more likely to become obese. The increase in formula use correlates with the parallel increase in obesity".
Formula feeder: "It's not formula feeding that is responsible for the rise in obesity - it's people eating too much fattening food!"
Science: (Trump card time) "Formula feeding manipulates a baby's biological makeup, priming their body's receptiveness to putting on weight."

So yes, whilst it is technically the consumption of fattening food that causes an individual to become obese - it is the way their body craves the food and then processes it, that leads to this obesity. These mechanisms are set in infancy.

Indeed, physiological processes have a more central role in obesity than social trends. Whilst it’s true that breastfeeding mothers are statistically more likely to be higher educated, afford healthier food, and make better food choices for their families - these factors don’t negate the bioactive factors inherent in breast and formula feeding. In light of the scientific evidence it is impossible to deny the dynamic interplay of somatomedins (groups of hormones) with cellular chemistry, protein composition and appetite regulation mechanisms, all which expose the true nature of formula feeding as an instrument of sabotage in the fight against obesity.


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